


Pull Me Back Home

by Not From Stars (Shadowcat), random_chick



Series: Stephen's Hearts [3]
Category: Primeval
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-30
Updated: 2012-01-30
Packaged: 2017-10-30 10:09:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 44,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/330588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcat/pseuds/Not%20From%20Stars, https://archiveofourown.org/users/random_chick/pseuds/random_chick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Becker, Stephen, and Abby get a much needed night alone together, they discover that each of them still have residual worries from past events and that Abby is afraid that she doesn't really "fit" with the men she loves any longer. Between talking and apologizing. they discover that even if their actions speak louder than their words, sometimes it's really nice to hear the words, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to [From Where We're Standing](http://enochianscribes.livejournal.com/tag/fic%20%3A%20from%20where%20we%27re%20standing) and [By The Time You Read This](http://enochianscribes.livejournal.com/tag/fic%20%3A%20by%20the%20time%20you%20read%20this), but it can be read as a stand alone.

  


**Title:** Pull Me Back Home  
 **Author:** [](http://enochiansigils.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**enochiansigils**](http://enochiansigils.dreamwidth.org/) /[](http://shadowcat.dreamwidth.org/profile)[ **shadowcat**](http://shadowcat.dreamwidth.org/)  
 **Artist:** sexycazzy @ LJ  
 **Fandom:** Primeval  
 **Relationship(s)/Characters:** Hilary Becker/Abby Maitland/Stephen Hart  
 **Author's Note:** Sequel to [From Where We're Standing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/210653/chapters/315289) and [By The Time You Read This](http://archiveofourown.org/works/250668/chapters/387796), but it can be read as a stand alone.

  


It'd been a typical night for them, dinner together after work and then cuddling on the sofa -- Abby always draped herself across their laps -- but with one very large difference.

Their infant daughter Leslee was with Nick and Jenny for the night. Abby had arranged it, saying they needed Leslee out of the flat because it was damn time the two of them shagged her senseless and that she'd recently given birth but it didn't make her a china doll. There'd been only a token protest, which was exactly as she'd expected. She did love her boys and their predictability like that.

"So, Abby... since you're so very obviously the one in charge tonight, what do you want?" Stephen asked, ruffling her hair.

Abby looked at them both and then chewed on her lip, looking away for a moment as she tried to figure out how to put into words what she wanted -- or what she had been thinking about. She finally swallowed and looked at Becker for a long moment, before she met Stephen's blue eyes with her own.

"I want not to be in charge."

"I think that can be arranged," Stephen said, smiling down at her. "Question is, who _is_ in charge, then?"

She turned and looked at Becker, giving him a shy smile. "Hilary is."

Becker knew exactly what he wanted, and it showed in his eyes for a second before he forced that thought away. "I can do that."

Her smile was a lot less shy as she looked at him. "I know."

"Trick is figuring out what I want to do, because I have no idea."

"Oh, yes you do," Stephen said. "I saw that look on your face when she said you were in charge."

Becker shook his head. "No."

Abby nodded. "Hilary."

"No. It would hurt you and we've already hurt you too much."

She let out a breath. "You're not going to hurt me," she said firmly. "Feeling that you can't tell me what you want would be the part that hurts me more than anything."

"I want to watch him shag you. But I want you to be restrained. Tied up. So all you can do is react." He looked down uncomfortably. "But I want to be restrained, too. So I can't get tempted to join in and actually act on it."

Abby felt a shiver go through her and the want she was feeling showed clearly in her eyes as she looked at him. She smiled slowly and then looked at Stephen. "Oh. Oh yes."

Becker looked at her in surprise. "Really?" Clearly he was forgetting the times they'd had sex before with one of them watching... and how it always ended up involving the third person at some point. This wasn't so different, really.

She licked her bottom lip and nodded. "I've never... not like that and with you two... I would like to because I would know..." She was actually blushing. "I've wanted to with you!"

"But you couldn't say anything because Stephen and I were fighting with each other so much." Becker looked sad for a second. "Is it okay with you?" he asked, looking at Stephen.

"All I can say is, you damn well better let one of us take care of you afterwards or it's just not going to be fair." Stephen grinned wolfishly. "Well, that and you have no idea how many times I've thought about tying you up."

Abby smiled at both of her guys. There were things she wanted to say but wasn't sure how -- but she was damned sure that her love and want for them both was very clear in her eyes.

Stephen still had that smile on his face as he said, "Not to mention, I _like_ it when you tell us you want something that isn't entirely tame." He was the resident kinky one, they all knew it, but that didn't mean he disliked bringing that side out in them from time to time.

It was a side that Abby had never shown to anyone but the two of them, but she was still sometimes shy about letting that part of her out.

"Well, then..." Becker was fighting a blush as he looked at Abby. "Do I thank you for wanting it now or later?"

She was blushing, too. "I get the feeling that we'll be thanking each other a lot tonight..."

"And possibly confusing each other for God a lot." This was from Stephen, who was still smirking at the two of them.

She rolled her eyes and then looked at Stephen. "You're really enjoying this," she said with a laugh.

"Damn right I am," he said unrepentantly. "My two favorite adults in the entire universe are going to be tied up and at my mercy. How could I not?"

Abby blushed again. "I'm just happy that the idea makes you guys just as happy as it makes me."

"And I'm just glad you don't think I'm silly for wanting it," Becker said quietly.

She turned her head and pulled at his hand. "Never silly," she murmured. "I never thought you'd want me like that. I'd thought about it before, but I just wasn't sure what you guys would think of me if I said I wanted that."

He squeezed her hand gently. "Abby, we love you. We'd do anything for you."

"But nice girls aren't supposed to like stuff like that." You would think that with all of the time she'd been involved with both him and Stephen, she wouldn't have some of these worries.

"No, nice girls can like whatever they bloody well please," Stephen corrected. "They're just supposed to be caring and concerned for their partner's well-being."

Stephen logic was special sometimes -- but also accurate.

"Which I am," she hastened to say. "Very much so." She could be pretty adorable when she was worrying about silly things.

"That's one thing we're never worried about," Becker assured her.

"That's good," she said with a smile. "But the point I'm trying to make is I would love to do things like that with you guys. It's kind of a big turn on of mine to not have any control at all." Because she prided herself on being in control.

"Then I'm definitely glad I mentioned it." Becker smiled at her. "I'm also glad that you two don't mind that I want to be restrained, too."

Stephen just gave him a Look. "I've tied you up before, Hil. Where's the problem in it now?"

Becker's only response was some vague flailing of his hands.

"I'm the difference," Abby guessed.

"Yeah," Becker said. "That and the fact that he's not shagging me while I'm restrained. He usually was."

Hi, random glimpse into their sexual history!

"I love all of these things I'm learning about the two of you," she said with a soft smile.

"You want another random thing about us?" Stephen grinned again. "Our Captain here has a thing for handcuffs."

"Oh, pretty," Abby breathed, then ducked her head when she realized she had said that out loud.

"Stephen!" Becker hissed.

"What? You do. And she's right -- you _are_ pretty when you're cuffed to a bed and naked."

Abby whimpered softly.

"What, Abby my girl?" Stephen asked, the endearment sounding entirely different coming from him in that dark, husky tone. "What is it?"

"How is it that just listening to you talk can get me all..." She flailed her hands a little.

"Horny as all get out?" he suggested innocently.

"Yes," she hissed, covering her face.

"I love that," Stephen said. "That I can get you so riled up just by talking."

She was still covering her face. "You both do that to me and I've never had that happen with anyone else. Just the two of you."

"Really?" This was from Becker, who was still a little distracted by the fact that Stephen had brought up his love of handcuffs.

She nodded, embarrassed.

"So I'm the only one besides Stephen to get you to do that... I like it." Becker smiled tenderly. "I like being nearly the only person to make you feel some way."

She peeked through her fingers at him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he said reassuringly. "Because we're the only two to ever make you feel that way, which means it's _ours_. It's something nobody can ever take from us."

She nodded vehemently. "Yours. Just like I am."

He reached out to pull her hands away from her face. "Speaking of you being ours... we have shagging to get to." The first part was going to be an exquisite torture, but he loved the idea of it.

She whimpered, squirming against them before she started to sit up in order to get off their laps.

Stephen wasn't nearly as in control of himself as he seemed. How could he be, when the two people he loved more than anything were trusting him to be with them when they were completely vulnerable?

"Your pants appear to be getting a little bit tight, love," Abby teased Stephen when she was on her feet and looking down at them.

"Get moving and I'll be able to take care of that."

She laughed in delight before she turned and raced them to their bedroom. Their bedroom that had a very large bed.

They, of course, let her win the race.

Of course they did. She would be completely in their control soon enough.

"Now the question is how we tie you down when it's time," Stephen mused to Abby.

She gave them both a cheeky grin. "I'm not the one making the call. So you and Hilary have to figure that out." She moved out of his reach. Like she was going to make this _completely_ easy for them? She was feeling playful and pondered seeing which one would be able to catch her if she started running.

Stephen frowned thoughtfully before smiling slowly. He went to the closet, rummaged around in it for a moment, and came up with the handful of scarves he'd bought once, for this exact purpose. Scarves that were obviously _for_ this purpose. Scarves that hadn't been used yet.

Abby's eyes widened when she saw them, and she narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. "You should have told me sooner that you wanted this, too."

"Couldn't," Stephen said quietly. "You disappeared before I could."

Abby winced, her face looking stricken. "Stephen..." What? She was sorry? She hated that she had hurt him? There was nothing she could ever do to make up for the pain she had caused them.

"They were supposed to be a surprise," Stephen said, looking down at the scarves in his hands. "To show you we were interested in taking things to a different level."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so very sorry."

She had brought her hands up to cover her mouth and turned to leave the bedroom. Her own actions -- even though she had thought it was the right thing to do at the time -- had hurt them so much and she wasn't sure she would ever be able to do anything to make up for that.

"Abby, no." Stephen's voice was quiet. "Don't go. I wouldn't have brought these out if I didn't think we should use them now. If I hadn't shaken free from the mental association I had with them."

She swallowed hard, looking from him to Becker and then back to him again. "I liked the blue and gray ones," she said hesitantly. "They look pretty."

"For you or for him?" Stephen asked.

"Black and silver for Hilary," Abby said meeting his eyes, feeling shy again. "Blue and gray for me."

Stephen smiled at that, setting the blue and gray scarves down. "Chair, Hilary," he said, pointing to the chair in the corner of the room. "Sit."

Becker stifled a whimper at the look in Stephen's eyes and just obeyed.

"How's this?" Stephen asked as he tied Becker's wrists down. "Too tight?"

Becker shook his head. "Perfect."

Abby just watched all of this silently, her eyes slowly darkening.

Stephen kissed Becker roughly before pulling back, turning his attention to Abby. "You, my dear, are far too overdressed."

"You'll just have fix that, then, won't you?"

"I will," he agreed, a smile playing across his lips as he crossed over to her, pulling her into his arms and kissing her soundly as his hands crept up under her shirt.

She leaned against him, her lips parting beneath his.

He nipped teasingly at her lower lip before pulling back to tug her shirt up. "Off. Now."

"Someone's bossy," Becker teased from his spot.

"Don't make me gag you, too, Hilary."

It didn't take Abby long to get out of her shirt and it was made easier for Stephen by the fact that she wasn't wearing anything beneath it.

Stephen dropped her shirt to the floor and slid his fingers beneath the waistband of her pants. "These have to go, too, love."

Abby gave him a small grin and undid her pants, letting them fall to the floor. She wasn't wearing anything beneath the pants, either.

"You little minx," Stephen said, laughing softly. "You really weren't kidding when you said it was time we shagged you senseless."

"No, I wasn't. I miss you guys really badly. I'm not going to break."

"It hasn't been that long since you had Leslee, though," Becker pointed out, looking up from testing the restraints. Because really, it wouldn't do to need them retied midway through things.

"I need you guys," she finally said. "I feel like I'm missing a part of myself."

"Then let's get you all nice and tied down so we can make you stop feeling that way," Stephen said.

Abby nodded her head seriously. She knew they didn't understand how she felt like she was missing a piece of herself with them since they were all together again and happy. However, she hoped tonight would be better at explaining since words made no sense.

Neither of them understood, but Stephen had a little bit of an idea. Because yes they were happy together again, but at the same time this was a last hurdle they had to get over if everything was going to be completely all right again.

He guided her to the bed and helped her onto it, making sure she was comfortable to begin with before he tied her wrists to the headboard.

Becker watched with fascination; it was rare to see Stephen this deliberately gentle and it was a sight he loved seeing.

Abby kept watching Becker as Stephen worked at tying her down. Yes, it had been his idea, but she still needed to make sure that he was absolutely sure of it.

Becker gave her a reassuring smile. "God, you're beautiful like this, Abby."

She blushed. "You both look really hot, you know?"

"Oh, really?" This was from Becker, since Stephen was still making sure Abby was restrained comfortably.

She nodded. "You're restrained, but you still have an air of command around you."

"She's right," Stephen said as he stepped back to undress, removing his shirt slowly. "It's like you know you're in control even though you're tied down."

Abby nodded, watching Stephen get undressed.

"It's ridiculously hot watching you two already," Becker admitted. "I could tell you what to do and you'd do it. Having control over a situation like that... it's intense."

"I'm impatient to see how intense it could be," Abby answered honestly. "The only thing that would make this even more intense would be if I couldn't see what Stephen was going to do before you told him to."

Becker contemplated it a second before shaking his head. "Next time," he decided.

Abby nodded in acceptance, but secretly wondered how much that decision was because of the fear they had all felt for that short time she was blind.

"And there will definitely _be_ a next time," he promised with a smirk more typical of Stephen.

She smiled back at him. "I'm looking forward to it, then."

Stephen finished undressing and joined Abby on the bed, kissing her deeply as he positioned himself.

She tested own scarves and then eyed Stephen. "While I understand that you still worry that I'll break, I'm pretty sure you can get these restraints a little bit tighter, my love."

"Oh, I could," he agreed. "But I'm not going to. Not at the risk of them being too tight."

"And if I managed to get free at the wrong point?"

"You being able to maybe get free is better than tying them too tightly and hurting you," Stephen said. "Because that's not happy pain. That's not the kind of pain we like causing."

She nodded, testing at the restraints again.

"Next time, though," he promised. "This is about exploring and having fun."

She grinned at both men. "I'll have to start making a list..."

Becker whimpered. "Please do."

She looked over him and smiled shyly. "I think I will. Now that I can..." She blushed. "Can tell you."

"You better tell us," Stephen said, kneeling between Abby's legs. "We can't satisfy you if you don't tell us how."

"But you always do, anyway," Abby said in confusion. "Always."

"But we do it with all the things we already know you like," Becker said, looking at the two of them. "We can't do the new things to you if you don't tell us about them."

"Oh. I never really thought about that."

"So really, all you have to do is tell us about them sometime." Becker grinned at her, smirking a little.

The reason for that smirk became evident a second later, when Stephen lifted Abby's hips slightly and entered her while she was distracted by Becker.

"Oh," Abby said in surprise and then smiled slightly, shivering a little. She had enjoyed that unexpected beginning.

"Mmm, you liked that," Stephen observed, his voice husky. "I'll have to keep that in mind."

Becker whimpered again, the tone of Stephen's voice getting to him even though Stephen wasn't even talking to him.

"Uh huh," she nodded, her eyes wide and dark as she focused on his voice. When she heard Becker whimper, she shivered again.

"You like being tied down, don't you?" Stephen thrust slowly. "I can tell you already want to react with your hands. It's entirely different when you can't, isn't it?"

Abby nodded, trying to squirm a little. "Yes," she whispered, just loud enough so that Becker would be able to hear her, too. "So different."

"But good, at the same time," Becker said, shifting uncomfortably. "All you can do is just... take it and beg for more." He didn't even realize his voice had dropped into that register that Abby so adored.

Abby realized that Becker's voice had dropped and with him talking to her like that and Stephen doing what he was doing? She knew that she was possibly going to be begging one or the both of them before the night was out.

Which was pretty much their goal, really. And talking to Abby the way he was kept Becker's mind off the uncomfortable tightness of his pants, so... Abby was doomed, pretty much.

If Abby had been thinking, she would have suggested that Becker take his pants off before they both restrained by Stephen. However, the two of them talking to her had caused all logical thoughts to go right out of her head.

"Harder, Stephen," Becker urged breathlessly. "You know she wants it. I can see it in her eyes."

Becker was right, but hearing him say it caused all kinds of delightful sensations to move through Abby. She did her best to squirm against him, not being able to use her hands to pull him closer to her.

Stephen just grinned and thrust harder, his kneeling position letting him lift Abby's hips up a little more to hit her just right.

"God," she whimpered. "Oh God." She shook her head, trying to focus. "This... this is so amazing...intense."

"That's it, Abby," Becker urged, tugging at the restraints even though he knew full well they weren't going to give.

She squirmed against Stephen, looking into his eyes and then turning to look at Becker. He was the one issuing commands, after all.

"Hold out, Abby," Becker ordered. "Do not let yourself even _think_ about coming until he has first."

She bit back a whimper. It wasn't that she was close enough to do so yet, but that commanding tome in Becker's voice? _That_ tone was starting to send more shivers through her.

"You are ridiculously hot when you're ordering us around," Stephen said to Becker, stifling a gasp.

"Oh, I'm always hot and you know it."

Abby nodded in agreement. It was up to them to decide if she was agreeing with one or both of them.

It made sense for her to be agreeing with both of them, really.

Stephen shifted slightly, thrusting harder at a certain angle that Abby had seemed to respond to. He loved getting her to respond to him. And he loved getting her to respond for Becker, too.

Abby moaned when he did that, her tongue coming out to lick her bottom lip. She stretched her neck up, trying to kiss him.

Stephen grinned, shifting position and leaning down to kiss her, resting his weight on his forearms.

She whimpered into his mouth, sucking on his bottom lip.

Becker let out a frustrated growl low in his throat; this was the point where, if he was free, he'd be stripping and joining in.

That frustrated growl did remarkable things to her insides and she made a mewling noise in her throat loud enough for Hilary to hear her.

Oh God, he loved that noise. It almost made up for the frustration of not being able to join in. Almost.

But he had wanted this, because as torturous as it was not to be able to participate, the two of them were absolutely beautiful together.

Abby had no idea how they looked to Hilary, but she wanted to make sure he was still enjoying himself with the two of them restrained like this. Her eyes directed a question over to him as Stephen was biting along her neck and shoulder.

He looked at her with dark eyes. "Feels good, doesn't it?" he asked, his voice husky. "Being completely at Stephen's mercy."

She nodded, whimpering at something Stephen did before focusing on Hilary again. "You're still all right..?"

"Aside from being pretty damn sure I'm going to come in my pants, I'm bloody fantastic, love."

She blushed and squirmed at the mental image he was painting for her.

He caught the blush and laughed softly. "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? You _want_ me to be so turned on I come in my pants, don't you?"

"We can make that happen," Stephen whispered in Abby's ear, quiet enough that Becker couldn't hear. "If you really want it, love."

"Oh god," Abby breathed so low that only Stephen would have been able to hear her. "Oh god." She nodded her head against him, lifting her hips against him.

Stephen chuckled softly and thrust harder, turning his head to look over at Becker as he did so.

Taking her cues from Stephen, Abby leaned up as far as she could to run her tongue along Stephen's throat, her eyes not leaving Becker's.

"Oh, Jesus," Becker whimpered. "Jesus, you two are incorrigible."

"But you love us," Abby murmured, her voice going to a husky tone.

"Uh-huh." Actual words were so completely beyond him at the moment.

She ran her tongue along Stephen's skin again, nipping lightly once or twice.

Stephen moaned at that, thrusting harder -- and still looking Becker right in the eyes.

That moan went right through Becker; he threw his head back, bucking his hips and letting out a keening whimper as he came.

Abby couldn't help the grin that crossed her features as she watched Becker.

"Oh God," he gasped. "Haven't done that since... well, the first time I was with Stephen."

She smiled, laying her head back down and rolling her hips against Stephen. "It was a pretty sight to see, love."

"It was," Stephen agreed, his voice tight. "Knowing it was because of us, because you wanted to be with us."

Abby nodded in agreement. "Knowing that we can cause you to lose control without even touching you."

"Stephen got me off that first time just by talking to me," Becker said breathlessly. "It was the first time we'd met, the first time we'd gone out for drinks, and as it turns out, the first time we made each other come."

Stephen didn't bother biting back the moan that escaped him. "God, he's hot when he talks like that, isn't he?"

Abby whimpered and nodded. "So unlike him." She looked over at Becker. "He did?"

Becker nodded, smiling at the memory. "We were both a little drunk and somehow the subject of doing that came up."

"Because you said I had a voice made for that kind of thing," Stephen said.

This time it was Abby that moaned when she thought about it.

"That's right, I did." Becker laughed softly. "Well, I was right about it."

Abby had no doubt about that, really.

"I have all sorts of tricks up my sleeve," Stephen said. "Stick with me long enough, you'll see 'em all."

Abby whimpered again, squirming a little more.

"She's so close, Stephen," Becker said. "I can see it on her face."

"I can, too," Stephen said, his attention focused on Abby's face. "But she doesn't get to come. Not yet."

Abby growled a little at him, nipping at his chest.

"He said you don't, after all," Stephen said, whimpering at the nip. "And I don't know about you, but I don't want to disobey him."

Rebellion flashed momentarily in Abby's eyes, and then she smiled a slow smile. It was a wicked smile and the only way to describe that smile was trouble.

But it was the kind of trouble that Stephen loved. Smirking at her, he pulled back to almost withdraw before bucking his hips forward.

If Abby had her hands free, her nails would probably have been digging furrows in Stephen's back by now. When he withdrew, she met his eyes, before looking over at Becker. When Stephen thrust into her again, she stared directly at Becker as she tightened herself around Stephen.

Becker stared back at her, still not entirely able to believe she'd actually wanted this. Or that she was looking at him while Stephen was doing things to her.

"I love you," she murmured, making sure that he heard her. "I love you both very much."

"And we love you," Becker replied, trying to reach out to her and letting out a frustrated growl at the restraints.

That growl caused shivers to move through her, and therefore Stephen, too.

Stephen shuddered. "Oh God, don't do that," he said. "You're going to push me right over the edge."

"I thought that was the point, love?"

"I want this to last, though. I want it to be good for you."

"It is. Oh it is."

That reassurance was apparently the last thing Stephen needed before he came, and when he did, it was with an utterly unrepentant groan.

Abby bit her lip, arching her body against him as she tried to help him ride out his orgasm.

Stephen thrust once more, then a second time, before going still against Abby.

She dropped her head, nuzzling his neck.

Stephen slid a hand slowly up and down Abby's side, in that deliberate way that he knew she liked.

She made a muted keening sound when he did that, her body shivering at his touch.

"That's it," Stephen whispered. "That's my girl." He slid his hand up to cup a breast. "You're close, love. So close. Give in."

Abby whimpered, her entire body arching up into his touch.

"Do it, Abby," Becker said, his voice still husky. "Take control back."

Abby made another keening whimper that turned into a low growl as she arched up against Stephen again, her teeth nipping at his shoulder.

Stephen's hands were busy wandering over Abby's body now, touching all the sensitive spots.

Her body felt like it was one single, never-ending sensation and she jerked against him, her whole body quivering as she was poised on that edge.

Stephen cupped a breast again, very deliberately pinching her nipple between two fingers, tugging at it gently.

She moaned squirming against him. "Stephen..." She swallowed. "Stephen I need..." She needed him to bite her, but she had never quite gotten the courage to tell him to do that. She looked over at Hilary as she squirmed in her restraints. He always knew what she didn't know to say, it seemed. She wanted to come for them, to make them both feel like they made her feel, but she seemed to be stuck on the very edge of falling apart and didn't know how to let go now that she was so wound up.

Becker nodded slightly. "She needs you to bite her, Stephen. She needs that last little push."

"Then that's what I'll do." Stephen lowered his head, nipping lightly at Abby's neck before putting a little more force into it. He would've done anything Abby asked him to do -- or that Hilary told him she wanted him to do.

Like Becker said, that was the last push that Abby needed to make her come apart at the seams. When he bit harder, she started to come, bucking up against his body with more force than she had used ever before. The intensity of her orgasm frightened her a little because it had never been like this, and she wasn't holding onto anything to anchor her.

Which was probably why it was so intense. Without something to hold onto and unconsciously hold a little piece of her back, Abby felt herself falling and kept seeing shards of light behind her eyes. She kept falling over that edge, the only sounds coming from her were keening sobs of her boys' names.

The sight of Abby coming with such sheer abandon was very nearly enough to make Becker come a second time. "So beautiful," he said, awe filling his voice. "So, so beautiful. And it's a sight only we'll ever see, because she's _ours_."

Abby would have been happy to agree that she was only theirs, but she was trying very hard to find her body again and only able to repeat his and Stephen's names.

Stephen withdrew and moved to untie Abby.

When she was untied, her arms immediately went around his neck.

He wrapped an arm around her and held her close.

"Stephen," she sobbed. "Hilary."

"Ssh, shh," Stephen soothed. "It's all right. I'm sorry if we took it too far."

"NO!" She shook her head. "Amazing. So amazing." She swallowed. "Need you both to hold me."

"Let me untie him, then, and we'll hold you for as long as you want."

She nodded, letting go of him slowly and laying back against the pillows.

Stephen untied Becker quickly, wanting to get back to Abby as fast as they could. Becker had other ideas, though, at least for the moment. As soon as he was standing, he pulled Stephen to him and kissed him fiercely. "I wanted to kiss you like that the entire time you two were shagging," he said with a whimper as he finally pulled back.

Stephen just grinned as he joined Abby on the bed. "Delayed gratification made it so much better, though."

"Oh, yeah," Becker agreed as he sat on Abby's other side.

She pulled them both to her, her body still shuddering from tremors caused by her orgasm. Her mind was still swirling around somewhere.

"That was amazing," Becker said softly, nuzzling the side of Abby's head.

She nodded, and then nodded again.

"Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you for letting me watch you two like that."

"I love you," she said quietly. "Love you so much."

"I love you, too."

Stephen smiled at the sight of the two of them. "Next time, _I'm_ the one restrained." He smirked at Becker. "Or feel free to just handcuff me."

"You're not going to let the damn handcuff thing go, are you?" Becker was too distracted by the idea of Stephen being restrained to be upset.

"No, because it's damn hot." Stephen grinned. "And you always used to like handcuffing me. Be interesting to see if you still do."

Abby pulled Stephen closer so she could hold onto both of them. Her brain was starting to function again -- at least enough to pay attention to the conversation that they were having. She listened in silence for a couple of moments as she curled close to both of them.

"Do either of you even have handcuffs?" she asked in curiosity. "Where would we even get a pair or two?"

"Could ask Anne," Stephen teased. It was no secret that he'd slept with Becker's sister a few times before they'd realized they made far better friends than shag buddies.

"Oh, God, no. We are not borrowing my sister's sex handcuffs," Becker said. "Because think about who those have been used on. I like the guy, but no. Just no." He may have been turning a faint shade of red. "Besides, I... uh... kinda never got rid of mine."

Abby shook her head almost violently at Stephen.

Stephen would've said something to soothe Abby, but he was distracted by Becker's admission. "You didn't? So you still have the exact ones you used on me?"

Becker nodded slightly.

Abby was quiet as she was curled up between them. She was, however, listening to this conversation quite eagerly.

"Why didn't you get rid of them?" Stephen wondered. "They had to have reminded you of me."

"That's exactly _why_ I never got rid of them," Becker said.

"Even when you're unhappy and sad, you don't want to get rid of everything that reminds you of the ones you loved and lost," Abby ventured quietly. "I didn't get rid of anything that reminded me of you, Stephen, even after you left the ARC. And when I left, I didn't get rid of anything that reminded me of the two of you."

"I'm glad you didn't," Stephen said to Becker. "And not just because I want us to use them again someday, but also because they're a reminder of me that's not exactly typical."

Abby nodded. She would never have known that handcuffs were a reminder of Stephen.

"I mean, sure, they're something you'd have to explain if someone ever found them in your place, but they're something private. Something that was just ours." He reached over, trailing his fingers along Becker's jawline tenderly.

"Why would he have to explain anything?" Abby demanded fiercely. "His place."

"Could potentially have to explain, depending on who found them," he amended, biting back a smile.

"Who would be snooping into his things?"

"I don't know. Family, maybe?"

"Stephen, be nice," Becker chided. "Abby, love, I get his point. Handcuffs are the kind of thing that people tend to blink at when they know you own them. I'd feel compelled to come up with _some_ kind of an explanation, even if it wasn't the truth."

"Oh. If they don't like what they may find then they shouldn't be snooping in your stuff."

"They're not that difficult to find," Becker pointed out. "You could find them right now if you looked through my things."

No, Becker, do not give her a challenge, even if you don't mean it as one.

"I wouldn't go through your things," she said closing her eyes.

"He's saying you can look for them right now if you want to and he won't mind," Stephen said softly.

She opened one eye. "That would require me being able to get out of this bed right now." She gave a small smile. "But, I might be able to guess where they are."

"If you can guess where they are, you get to see them," Becker said, a distinctly shy note in his voice.

She thought for a long moment, chewing on her lip. "In the back corner of your closet, hidden in the extra gun case with the Glock?"

Becker's response was to slide out of bed and head for the closet, pulling the gun case out and opening it to retrieve the handcuffs. Hey, he _had_ promised.

Abby sat up against Stephen to watch Becker get the handcuffs. She hoped he asked her how she guessed, because she wouldn't want either one of them to think that she had been snooping in their privacy -- or ever would.

Becker carried the cuffs almost gently over to the bed. He held them out to Abby as he sat on the edge of the bed. He felt remarkably vulnerable right then, something he usually hated.

She reached over to take them, leaning in to kiss him deeply as she did so.

He whimpered softly. "How'd you know?" he asked when she pulled back. "Am I really that obvious?"

She shook her head. "No. I just know..." She swallowed. "I know where I hide the things that are that important to me. In the extra gun case you have me keep in my closet."

"What do you hide there?" he asked curiously, in a tone that said she didn't have to answer if she didn't really want to.

She looked embarrassed. "One of your guns, a gun of Stephen's. A ring of Stephen's... a silver chain of yours." There was one more thing but she wasn't ready to reveal that yet.

"Hey..." he said gently. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything else."

"I just ... I needed to have them when I lost you two."

"I'm glad you had them," Becker said. "Because they made you feel that we weren't really gone, like we were still there with you. And it hurt a little, but on the worst nights, when the pain got to be too much, you'd bring the case out and look at everything and no matter how much it hurt to look at everything... it made you feel better, too."

She nodded. "How do you know what I did?"

"Because it's what I did after Stephen left me," Becker said, his voice quiet.

She reached out and pulled him against the two of them.

Becker leaned against them. "I have a picture of the three of us in mine," he volunteered. "A picture of us, the handcuffs, a little toy animal that reminds me of you, Abby."

"I didn't have any photos," she said quietly. "I didn't want to take any of the albums away from you guys because I was afraid you'd forget about me without them."

"That would never have happened, no matter how long we were apart," Stephen said fiercely.

She nodded. "But we're here and we're together again like we're meant to be."

"I don't have anything hidden in the gun case," Stephen volunteered suddenly. "I hide my things in a dresser drawer."

Abby grinned. "Always have to be different."

"I want them closer at hand," he retorted. "Because I still have moments where I'm scared that this is all going to end. Not many of them, I admit. But I still have those moments. And when I have them, I like having my reminders within easy reach."

She shook her head and leaned up to kiss him. "You're stuck with us. We're not going anywhere."

"I know," he said, smiling against her lips. "I know."

She grinned and then looked back at Becker. "You're stuck with us, too."

"Oh, I know." Becker returned the grin. "If you want a picture to hide with everything else, take one."

"I have the real thing, now."

"You should have a picture, though," Stephen said. "It's only fair."

"It means that much to you guys?"

"It does," Becker said with a nod.

"Then we'll get one for me to put in there later."

"Good." Becker smiled at her. "Because even if you never need it, you should have it."

She smiled at their logic and nodded in agreement. She would never need it, but it would be nice to have.

Stephen idly brushed his fingers over Abby's face. "I love you so much, Abby."

She leaned her face into his touch. "I love you, too."

"It means the world to me that you let me do that to you." He smiled slightly. "It's one of the things Hilary and I talked about when you were gone."

"I've wanted to have that done for quite awhile." Oh that immediately sparked her interest. "You did?"

"Yeah, we did."

"Tell me!"

Becker looked embarrassed as he said, "We talked about how beautiful you'd be all tied up and naked and waiting for us."

Her eyes widened. "Really?"

Becker just nodded.

"There's only one logistics problem with me being tied up and somewhere waiting for the two of you."

"What's that?"

"In order for me to be tied up and naked and waiting for you to come to me, someone else would have to help me get into that situation. The two of you are a little possessive about me and other people seeing me without clothes on."

"We wouldn't be if it was a girl who helped you get into it," Becker offered.

"Jenny?"

"As long as it results in you being naked and tied up and waiting for us, I could live with it," was Stephen's response.

She got a very thoughtful look on her face.

"Oh, tell me that's the 'I'm considering it' face," Becker said, suddenly not so shy and embarrassed.

"Very much so."

"Please." Becker shifted uncomfortably.

She reached her hand over to caress him through his pants. "I'll talk to Jenny."

He shifted against her hand. "Good."

She squeezed him gently.

His only reaction was an incoherent moan and a slight twitch of his hips.

She loved it when she made him sound like that. She was still against Stephen, but it didn't stop her from leaning over and kissing Becker through his pants.

"Oh, he likes that," Stephen observed.

She smiled and nuzzled him, then kissed him again.

"You're mean," Becker managed to whimper.

Her teeth moved along the fabric of his pants, and then she started tugging at the zipper, working it down with her teeth.

"That is hot," Stephen murmured, watching in fascination.

Since she was close to Stephen, Abby wiggled her ass so that she rubbed against him while she finished undoing Becker's pants while using only her mouth.

"Oh God the thoughts I'm having right now," Stephen gasped.

Curious about those thoughts, Abby rubbed against Stephen again, and then ran her mouth along Becker's erection through his boxers.

"I'm thinking about taking you from behind," Stephen said, gasping again. "While he's in your mouth."

Abby lifted her head enough to turn a hungry gaze on him. "Please."

"What do you think, Hilary?" he asked, looking at Becker. "You want that?"

"Fuck yes."

Abby smiled, moving back to rub against Stephen again before she lowered her mouth to just breathe on Becker through the cloth.

"Get him naked, Abby," Stephen ordered. "I can't wait very long."

Abby nodded and used her hands to start pulling at Becker's clothes. She wanted him naked just as much as Stephen did.

Becker shrugged his shirt off quickly, at the same time as he lifted his hips slightly to help Abby with his pants.

Abby tugged his pants and boxers down, peeling them off of his legs and dropping them to the floor. Or well, in that general direction.

"God, he's beautiful," Stephen said, already moving to kneel.

"Yeah, he is," she agreed before she leaned forward and ran her tongue slowly along the side of his cock.

"He's beautiful and he's _ours_." The possession was clear in Stephen's voice.

"No one else's." Abby's voice was low.

"Ours forever."

She would have responded, but she was busy licking Becker on the other side of his erection. She dragged her tongue against him very slowly.

Stephen, for his part, was kneeling behind Abby, pressing against her and getting ready to move.

She pressed back against him as she started taking Becker into her mouth.

Stephen entered Abby slowly, carefully, not wanting to go too fast considering what else was going on.

She made what might have been a whimpering sound as she curled her tongue around Becker's tip, sucking on it gently.

"God yes," Becker whimpered, letting his eyes drift closed.

"No," Stephen said forcefully. "Keep your eyes open, Hilary. I want to be able to see the look in your eyes when she makes you come."

Abby shuddered. She just really enjoyed it when one of the boys was in such a dominant mood.

Becker obediently opened his eyes. "Whatever you say."

Stephen grinned and rested his hands on Abby's hips, thrusting gently.

With every thrust from Stephen, Abby took a little more of Becker into her mouth and then into her throat.

Becker moaned, fisting the covers in his hands.

When she had taken him completely into her throat, she did something that she knew drove him crazy. She swallowed, tightening her throat along his length.

Times like this, he was especially glad she knew him so well; he bucked his hips slightly.

She moaned when he did that and both he and Stephen would have felt that moan with how they were all currently connected.

Stephen moaned at that, his hands tightening slightly as he thrust harder into Abby.

She shoved back against his thrusts as her mouth started moving up and down on Becker.

Becker shuddered as Abby's mouth moved on him. "Oh God," he said, looking at Stephen. "Oh, God."

She liked that sound and swallowed again.

Becker lifted his hips slightly at the same time as Stephen thrust.

Abby moaned at the sensation of being thrust into by them both at the same time.

Stephen grinned at that and looked at Becker; the two of them settled into a slow, lazy pattern of mutual thrusts.

If Abby could have spoken, she would have been the one calling them both God. She couldn't believe how intense this was feeling. She had been focused on making sure that Hilary was feeling good... but they were both making her feel incredibly filled and excited. She would have to ask them later why they had never tried this before.

That was exactly how they wanted her to feel. This was a time for new things, which made it the perfect time to have tried this.

Abby moved back against Stephen to meet his thrusts, even as she relaxed her throat to take in Becker's thrusts. She was going to tell them later that they should do this more often.

The position they were all in meant Stephen didn't have a choice but to be more gentle than he might've been ordinarily; he was amused that the only time he could be truly gentle with her was when Becker was filling her mouth.

When Abby was told of that realization, she would probably be just as amused as he was. However, right now, she was too focused on how it felt to have the two of them like this. She swallowed around Becker at the same time she tightened herself around Stephen.

Becker reached down to run the fingers of one hand through Abby's hair, his eyes never leaving Stephen's as the two of them carefully thrust into the woman they loved.

Abby whimpered softly as she was between the two of them. She couldn't believe how amazing this felt.

That whimper made Stephen shudder.

Abby felt that shudder and she reached a hand behind her to brush against his leg.

Stephen ran his hands up from her sides to roam her back lightly.

She whimpered again, her mouth moving just the smallest bit faster on Becker.

Becker just moaned loudly, his hand fisting in Abby's hair.

These two were going to kill her with sensation, she just _knew_ it. Of course, they weren't going to get any complaints out of her over it.

Stephen's thrusts were going even more gentle the closer to the edge he got. He didn't want to lose control and hurt Abby. Any other time, maybe, but not when she was occupied with Becker.

Abby whimpered again, her mouth picking up more speed as she felt Stephen getting closer to the edge. She was determined that she was going to make both of them come before she did.

Stephen had a similar plan, which was admirable but at the same time hell on him.

She arched her back, moving herself against him.

"Oh God," Stephen whimpered, his voice tight. He was close, so close, but he couldn't let himself come before either of them.

Abby knew that tone of whimper and she did it again, tightening her muscles around him as she tilted her head so that she could take Becker completely into her throat.

That tightening sent him over the edge, throwing his head back and moaning her name loudly as he came.

She whimpered, but managed to hang onto herself while she focused on causing Becker to follow right after Stephen.

Becker tried to hold out, but with Abby's mouth on him and Stephen giving him that smoldering little smirk, it was absolutely impossible; he arched his back slightly as he came with a nearly incoherent whimper.

Abby would have felt triumphant if it wasn't for the fact that feeling both of her boys lose control with her at the same time caused her to fall over that edge she had been trying so hard to fight.

"Holy shit," Becker said, laughing breathlessly. "Oh, my God. That was amazing."

Abby flopped over on her side, trying to get her breath back, but she nodded in agreement.

Stephen lay on the bed next to them. "Oh, you two... that was hot. Ridiculously so. And I have wanted to do that to the two of you for ages."

"Should have," she finally managed to say. "Will."

"I'm not sure what was more amazing," he said. "The look on Hilary's face the entire time or the fact that we had you so completely filled."

"Filled. Oh god." She nodded. "Felt amazing."

"Ever think about it?" he wondered aloud.

"Of some way having you both at the same time? Yes."

"She thought about it and she _liked_ it," Becker said, his voice lazy.

She nodded. She shuffled positions on the bed so she could lay her head on Becker's shoulder, and then pulled Stephen to them, too. "Uh huh."

Stephen draped his arm over the two of them. "I love our daughter, but getting her out of the flat for a night was the best idea you've ever had," he said to Abby.

"Jenny said we needed it."

"So it wasn't your idea?"

"I thought if I let someone take her too soon it would make me a bad mum," she admitted. "But I wanted alone time with you guys, desperately. Jenny talked me around my worries."

"Letting just anyone take her would've made you a bad mum," Becker said. "But you let Jenny take her. Jenny adores her."

"We're not allowed to pick her up until after tea time," Abby said. "Jenny said we should make the most of our first night alone."

"Ooh, does this mean lots of shagging?" Becker asked hopefully.

Abby laughed, reaching up to tug on his hair. "Yes, if you and Stephen are up for it. I might have tired you out, I realize."

"Give it a few minutes and I'm sure one of us will be ready again," he said, moaning.

She smiled, tugging on his hair again before turning her face to Stephen.

"You love exploiting that hair-tugging kink he has, don't you?" Stephen teased.

"Just as much as I love biting on your shoulder."

"Which, by the way, means you are an evil woman."

"Because I know what my boys enjoy?"

"Because you torture us with it." But Stephen was grinning as he said it.

"You have plenty of ways you return that torture, mate."

"Between us, I think we know all the things you like."

"So if I'm evil, then you are, too."

"Yup. Never said we weren't."

She laughed delightedly. "But you two are my evil." She flushed. She knew that she was probably calling them hers too often, but she had been so scared before and she needed to remind herself that she did belong here.

"Damn right we are," Becker said, and there was a distinctly fierce note in his voice.

She turned her head to him. "Can I ask you guys something. It's kind of stupid... but kind of important to know, too."

"Nothing with you is stupid," Stephen said.

She took a deep breath. "Does it bother you that I'm been so possessive and continuously staking claims and calling you mine all of the time? I know I've been doing it a lot, lately."

"I don't know Hilary's feelings on it, but I know I like it," Stephen said. "It makes me feel like I really belong here. I know I do, don't get me wrong, but every time you stake a claim or call me yours, it's an extra little reminder that just confirms it for me."

"Hilary?" she asked softly.

"It tells me that you still want me here. I mean, it's like he said. I _know_ you still want me here, I don't think you don't, but those extra little reminders are nice to have."

She looked relieved.

"And if we ever did have a problem with it, we'd tell you," Becker said. "We'd be gentle, but we'd say something."

She nodded. "I know you would."

"But I don't see us ever having a problem with it, so everything's all good." Becker grinned cheerfully.

She looked even more relieved. "All right."

"You really were worried about it, weren't you?" Stephen observed.

She nodded. "Yeah. A bit."

"Well, you don't need to be."

"Ok," she said softly.

"We love you, Abby," Stephen said gently. "We _want_ to be yours."

"I know you do. I just... I keep claiming you two an awful lot and I don't think I've had one conversation with you guys lately where somehow I didn't have to say that you were _mine_. I don't... I don't know why I have to."

"Because you were separated from us for so long," Stephen said. "You need to remind yourself that it didn't really change anything between us."

"Yes," she said softly. "And it feels different now than before." She bit her lip, not wanting to hurt them by why it felt different.

"Why?" Becker asked softly.

"Please, promise me you won't get hurt or mad?" She swallowed, picking at the comforter they were laying on. "Before when I would do it, I wasn't sure if you were mine or if all of the words being used to claim you or you claim me was just a way to make things seem normal and not falling apart, Now, now it does feel right and it does feel real. When I hear one of you say that I'm yours, I feel a lot of things and sparks that were missing before and I know that I am yours. When I claim you or say you're mine... it feels right and that I do have a place I belong with you."

Becker bit his lip, looking away for a second. "We may not have gotten along then, but one thing we always meant was that you were ours," he finally said.

"I hurt you." Abby said quietly. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"No!" Becker said, looking panicked. "I'm just not... well, not very good at talking about that point in our lives. Because I'm ashamed of myself for most of it."

"But things are right, now, Hilary. We're together like we belong."

"We are," he agreed. "I just wish I hadn't helped hurt you so badly."

"You didn't mean to and it's all in the past now."

"Yeah, it is." He smiled at her. "I'm glad it changed. I'm glad you feel like we really are yours now."

"You are both very much mine."

"Just like you're ours."

"Yes," she said instantly and without hesitation.

Both men smiled at that. "I still like hearing you say you're ours," Becker admitted.

"I am _yours_ ," Abby repeated. "Always and forever."

[Part Two](http://enochianscribes.dreamwidth.org/11925.html)  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Becker, Stephen, and Abby get a much needed night alone together, they discover that each of them still have residual worries from past events and that Abby is afraid that she doesn't really "fit" with the men she loves any longer. Between talking and apologizing. they discover that even if their actions speak louder than their words, sometimes it's really nice to hear the words, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to [From Where We're Standing](http://enochianscribes.livejournal.com/tag/fic%20%3A%20from%20where%20we%27re%20standing) and [By The Time You Read This](http://enochianscribes.livejournal.com/tag/fic%20%3A%20by%20the%20time%20you%20read%20this), but it can be read as a stand alone.

  


**Title:** Pull Me Back Home  
 **Author:** [](http://enochiansigils.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**enochiansigils**](http://enochiansigils.dreamwidth.org/) /[](http://shadowcat.dreamwidth.org/profile)[ **shadowcat**](http://shadowcat.dreamwidth.org/)  
 **Fandom:** Primeval  
 **Relationship(s)/Characters:** Hilary Becker/Abby Maitland/Stephen Hart  
 **Word Count:** 44,544  
 **Rating:** NC-17  
 **Warnings:** Sexual content.  
 **Summary:** When Becker, Stephen, and Abby get a much needed night alone together, they discover that each of them still have residual worries from past events and that Abby is afraid that she doesn't really "fit" with the men she loves any longer. Between talking and apologizing. they discover that even if their actions speak louder than their words, sometimes it's really nice to hear the words, too.  
 **Author's Note:** Sequel to [From Where We're Standing](http://enochianscribes.livejournal.com/tag/fic%20%3A%20from%20where%20we%27re%20standing) and [By The Time You Read This](http://enochianscribes.livejournal.com/tag/fic%20%3A%20by%20the%20time%20you%20read%20this), but it can be read as a stand alone.

"We're going to hold you to that," Stephen said.

"I want you to."

"Then we will." He smirked. "We'll hold you in general."

"I like it when you do that."

"Good, because we like holding you." Becker smiled softly. "We like that you _want_ us to hold you."

"I feel the most at home when you guys are here and holding me," Abby said with a serene smile.

"We feel that way, too." Stephen's smile was content.

"That's a really good thing."

"It's a wonderful thing."

"Yeah, it is. Because it's right and it's home." She was staring up at the ceiling. "You know how we were talking about the things we hid and why they meant so much to us? There's something more in my box..."

"What is it?" Becker asked curiously.

She swallowed, not looking at either one of them, because she wasn't sure how they were going to react to what she was holding onto.

"You know when you brought me home from the hospital, I wasn't allowed to do anything but sleep and read? During one of those times, I did some research on my laptop and I found some interesting things." She let out a breath. "I... I uhm found a non-denominational church that specializes in unusual weddings. Unusual... like us."

"Are you saying you found a way for us to get married?" Becker looked at her wide-eyed.

She nodded slowly. "I did," she said softly. "If you guys want to."

"Yes," Becker said without hesitation. "I very much want to."

"I do, too," Stephen said. "I just didn't think there was actually a way."

"I didn't either, but this guy, he's a minister and he performs weddings for people who are in non-traditional partnerships."

"Then I think he's one of my new favorite people," Stephen said. "Because I want to be able to call you my wife and him my husband and have it be true."

"My two husbands," Abby said with a small smile. "Mine."

"Yours forever," Becker said.

"Until death do us part," she agreed.

"I love the sound of that," Stephen said. "We are never going to be apart again. Not like we were."

"No. Never."

"We're never going to make you feel like you have to leave," Becker said.

"You always make me feel like I'm home where I belong, Hilary."

"I will always do my best to do that," he promised. "Always."

"You guys bought a new place for us so we could start new."

"We did. Because we wanted to show you that you mattered more than our problems," Stephen said.

"Exactly. I don't _need_ anything to be told how much I mean to the two of you."

"Because you already have everything you could possibly need," Stephen said, smiling almost in wonder.

"Yes. I have the two men I love more than my own life and I have our daughter."

"And maybe someday she'll have a little brother or sister."

"Maybe one day," she nodded.

"But if not, that's okay, too," Becker said.

"I know," she turned to give him a small smile. "I know. I'm not worried."

"Good. I was worried you would be."

She shook her head. "I have the two of you and I have Leslee."

"And if I never have a baby with you, I can handle that," Becker said.

"Because we're already a family."

"Damn right we are," Stephen said. "It'd be nice to give Leslee a little brother or sister, yes, but we can live with her being an only child. Especially since they said you'd have a risky pregnancy."

She took a breath. "Yeah, they told me how close it was."

"So we're not going to try for another child," Stephen said. "Hilary and I agreed on this. But if you just happen to get pregnant someday, we'll be thrilled."

"I love you guys so much."

"And we love you."

"So, you still want to marry me?"

"Of course we do!" Becker said.

"Then we should do some snogging and shagging for the night and then call him in the morning."

"That sounds like a plan to me." Becker couldn't help grinning.

"I'm glad you guys want this as much as I do."

"How could we not?" Stephen said. "Our rings will mean even more, then."

"I love my ring."

"And we love ours." Becker ran a hand idly over Abby's arm. "But now for the important things... you mentioned snogging and shagging. We should probably get to that."

"I wonder if it's possible to fit both of you in my mouth..."

Stephen's response was a strangled groan. "I don't know, but fuck I'd love to try."

She looked at Becker. "Love?"

"Yes, please." He grinned.

She grinned back at both of them.

"So now the question is how do we make it work?" Becker mused.

"Now, see, I gave you guys the idea so it's up to you to figure out how to make it work," she said impishly. "I'm not in charge tonight, remember?"

"That was just thinking out loud," Becker replied. "Don't you worry, love, we'll make it work."

She got comfortable on the bed, with the pillows behind her head. "Of that, I have no doubts."

Stephen frowned thoughtfully. "I'm thinking either us kneeling and you laying down, or you kneeling on the floor and us standing." Was it any surprise that Stephen was the one figuring this out?

"Let's try the me laying down first, that way we're all comfortable?"

"Sounds like a good plan." Becker smiled at her as he and Stephen slowly moved to kneel.

Abby wasn't able to not look over both of her boys as they moved. They were gorgeous, loving... and hers.

Stephen touched Becker's arm lightly as they moved into a better position. It was a light, casual touch, but it was also him quietly claiming Becker.

And seeing that touch, because she was aware of the meaning when Stephen used it, made Abby shiver just a little.

"Anticipation getting to you, love?" Stephen asked as he and Becker knelt in front of her.

"Partially," she admitted. "Partially... I just like watching my two guys."

"Because we're yours?" Becker asked.

She nodded. "I like it when you give me reminders, and give them to each other, too."

"We got a lot more demonstrative with each other while you were gone," Becker said. It was one of the good things that'd come out of it, so they didn't mind talking about it.

"I'm glad. It's nice see this between all three of us."

"It's nice being at the point in the relationship where Hilary and I aren't at odds anymore."

"It really makes things feel so much better."

"It does," Stephen agreed.

"I'm really happy about this."

"So are we." Stephen grinned at her. "We're also happy that the three of us have started shagging again. It's so rare that it's the three of us together at once."

"I feel more grounded and at peace when I'm with the two of you and all three of us are together," Abby admitted shyly. "When I'm with one of you, I love it... but it feels like something is missing."

"I thought I was the only one that felt like that," Becker said.

"No, I do, too."

"So do I." Stephen reached out to run his hand over Abby's hair. "It's good when it's any two of us, when when it's all three it's perfect."

Abby nodded. "Feels complete."

"Feels amazing," Becker said with a nod of his own.

She smiled softly and then nodded at them.

"And can I just say that I never imagined you'd want to try both of us in your mouth at once," Stephen said with a smirky little grin. He always knew exactly how to keep the moment from getting too serious.

Abby blushed brightly.

"Aww, you are so adorable when you blush," Stephen teased. "Don't worry, I think it's incredibly hot that you want us both in you at the same time like that."

"I do. I like having you both at the same time." She swallowed. "Well, if we find out there's no way for both of you to fit at the same time, I can always just go back and forth between giving you simultaneous blow jobs and see which one of you comes first." She couldn't believe she had just said that out loud.

Stephen groaned. "Fuck, that sounds amazing, too."

"I did a lot of reading when I was away," she admitted.

"Including stuff like that?" Becker looked down at Abby, amazed.

She nodded slowly, bringing up her hands to cover her face. "I was curious to see what some of those erotica books were about and I think I needed a break from science..."

Stephen reached down to pull her hands from her face. "Love, don't ever hide from us. The thought that you want to try some of the things you've read is amazing."

"I'd like to but... I'm not always sure how to bring them up. I mean, double blow job isn't something you can just fit into casual conversation."

"Scary thing is, with us? It probably is," Becker joked.

That made Abby start giggling.

"Because we are completely okay with you randomly telling us you have something new you want to try," Stephen said. "You never need to worry about finding the right moment."

"There were a lot of interesting things that I read in the four months we were apart. You never know what I might say..."

"As long as it involves us shagging you or some kind of sexual act with you, we're not going to care," he said.

"I have the best guys ever."

"Damn right you do," Becker said.

"I love you. I love you both so damn much."

"And we love you just as much," Stephen said, looking down at Abby with a smile.

She looked back into his face and smiled slowly. "Figured out yet how to start?"

"We're kneeling close together, now it's your turn. Need your mouth closer so we can make sure we're right." Oh, Stephen, the way you sounded when you talked dirty.

It was obvious from the look in her eyes that Abby loved it when he talked like that and she moved her head closer so that she was laying right beneath them.

Becker moved forward first, shifting to the side slightly so there was room for Stephen to move forward. The idea of Abby's mouth on them both at the same time had an obvious effect on him.

She was fascinated by how much harder they both looked when she was at this angle. She would swear that the closer they got to her mouth, they became even harder.

If it was physically possible, she'd be right.

"Think this might work," Stephen murmured.

While he was thinking that, Abby lifted just slightly and moved her tongue across the underside of both of their cocks.

Stephen groaned, twitching his hips slightly.

Encouraged by that response, Abby repeated the action a few more times.

Each brush of her tongue made the men move a little closer.

She was already enjoying this quite a lot. As they got closer, her tongue moved further down towards their tips.

"Oh yes, I think this is going to work," Stephen said, his voice merely a whimper.

She continued until she was managing to drag her tongue around their tips, then she leaned forward and sucked gently on them both.

"That's it," Stephen encouraged. "That's our girl..."

She was amazed that she was able to start pulling them both into her mouth. There was no way that they would both fit into her throat at the same time, but she could pull them both close to that.

And whatever she could do to them, they would happily take.

Abby shifted her head, taking them both a little further into her mouth. Since she was laying down, this gave her hands the freedom to start stroking both of them.

Becker had to fight the urge to buck his hips; he did this by turning his head and kissing Stephen desperately. It wasn't the best position, but he had to do something.

She would have smiled if she wasn't still trying to see how far into her mouth she could take both of them.

Stephen's distracted thought was that they were really going to have to do something to thank Abby for this later.

Abby stilled her mouth, letting herself get used to the feel of both of them. While she kept her head completely still, her hands were still moving in perfect rhythm.

"Oh God," Becker gasped, breaking the kiss. "Thank you, Abby. Thank you."

She tilted her head back slightly, which gave them a little more room to slide into her mouth. One way or another, she was going to make them come apart. She was determined in that.

And they took full advantage of that room, each moving forward slightly.

She moaned, the sound coming from her throat and rippling along the rest of her body and to them.

"Oh, Jesus," Becker gasped. "Yes, God yes."

She loved that reaction, so she moaned around them again.

Stephen shuddered, a reaction that transmitted to Abby and Becker. "Oh, this is _so_ going on the list of things I really really like," he muttered.

Abby stopped her hands on them and then squeezed them both at the same time.

Becker couldn't help it, he bucked his hips slightly.

Abby groaned, not because it hurt but because that caused her to suck on them again and she was enjoying feeling how much they were enjoying themselves.

"Best girlfriend ever, y'know that?" Becker managed to say, amazed that he could get out any kind of sentence at all.

Abby sucked on them again, but lifted up a hand to flash her ring at them. There was no doubting what that meant.

"Fiancee," he amended. "Best fiancee ever."

She nodded, which probably felt very interesting from their point of view.

Oh, yes it did. It very much did. So interesting that it was Stephen's turn to buck his hips slightly. "Close," he gasped.

Abby's eyes widened when she realized how that had felt for them. She went back to stroking them, and then nodded again.

Stephen's hands clenched slightly as he fought for control.

Abby was too far gone with focusing on getting her two men to come, so she kept alternating between stroking and nodding her head.

Stephen was perilously close to the edge; he might've been able to cling to control a little longer if Becker hadn't started nipping at his earlobe and he _definitely_ would've been able to cling to control longer if Becker hadn't started begging him to come so he could come, too.

Throwing his head back, Stephen moaned as he came, one of his hands clutching at Becker's.

Considering that Abby was still holding onto them, she had felt them start to orgasm and tried to swallow everything they were giving her. However, breathing became a necessity and she had to pull back. She kept her hands stroking them through their release though.

She obviously would need to practice some more on this idea.

Becker whimpered as he rode out his orgasm. "Oh, holy God."

"God probably felt that," Abby gasped out.

Stephen laughed huskily. "Oh, love, we owe you for that. We _so_ owe you for that."

She shook her head. "Don't owe me. Loved doing it for you." She was probably going to be ignored on at least one part of that statement.

Yeah, she really was.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Becker said, smiling shyly.

"I'll do it a lot so I can learn how to swallow all of you when you both orgasm."

"I'm not going to lie," Stephen said, collapsing on the bed. "I like that idea a lot."

She couldn't move much so just laid down where she was.

Becker curled up on her other side.

"Intense. Wow." She grinned. "Hands and mouth."

"I just hope you enjoyed it even half as much as we did," Stephen said, as Becker curled up against Abby.

"I made my men happy. Of course I did."

"But we don't ever want you to do anything that'd be demeaning yourself," Becker said, wrapping an arm around her waist.

Abby snuggled against Becker, her other arm moving to Stephen. "I don't think I understand what you mean, love."

"Don't ever want you to do something just because you think we'd like it."

"Don't worry, love. I may confuse you guys with God on a regular basis, but I'm not about to go around calling you _Master_."

"Pfft." Stephen snorted. "I'd rather be God."

Abby muffled her giggles.

"I just hate the idea of us wanting something you wouldn't," Becker said.

"You're forgetting the art of compromise," Stephen pointed out. "We'd find something to do for her if she'd do whatever for us. And if she really didn't want to do it, then we'd find something else we want. Because face it, it's not like we have any shortage of things we want her to do."

"And so far there hasn't been anything brought up that has made me uncomfortable." She turned her head to kiss him. "But I love how protective you are of my feelings."

Becker smiled against her lips. "I don't want to do anything to drive you away again. I guess I'm going a little bit overboard."

"But it's sweet." She touched his face. "I'm never leaving you again."

"You better not, or I'll pout. And do you really want me pouting?"

She giggled. "The Hilary pout is a very dangerous weapon."

"Damn right it is," he said with as solemn a nod as he could manage.

She lay her head back down against him, making sure she also still had a hold of Stephen.

"I love this," Stephen said suddenly. "Just laying here with the two of you. It's... peaceful."

"Ours."

"Exactly."

She nodded. Then she smiled, baring her teeth. "Mine."

"Yours," Stephen said, nodding in agreement. "Forever."

She grinned, snuggling against the both of them. "You guys were hot, by the way."

"How so?" Becker questioned, and this time it was just because he wanted to see what she'd say.

"I liked feeling you both come... seeing it."

"I had no idea we'd both fit," Becker admitted. "So when we did, even that little bit... dear God."

"I wasn't sure, either, but I wanted to try."

"We're damn glad you did," Stephen said.

"Me, too."

"You could want to try anything and we'd say yes," he said. "After we finished staring at you in awe for wanting it, that is."

She smiled slightly. "I'm not someone who will be scared of a little thing like hot sex with her two guys."

"Well, good, because if you were that'd make us sad." Becker grinned cheerfully. "And you don't want that."

She was silent for a moment and then she couldn't help it. "They have these really detailed books with all kinds of photos to show you how some things are done," she teased.

That would be when her boys let out simultaneous whimpers.

"I've seen them and they are full of ideas."

"You so have a list, don't you?" Becker accused.

"Maaaybe...."

"Any chance you'd tell us about it?" Stephen asked hopefully.

"The chances are pretty good."

"Well, then..."

"But some of them that I got curious about... I... I don't know."

"We can't say yes or no until we know what they are," Stephen said logically.

She was silent a moment. "There was a book about these lovers..." She started, not quite believing she was saying this. "The guys managed to find a way to both make love to their wife at the same time..."

"Keep going," Stephen urged gently.

"It sounded intense," she said shyly. "They weren't in her mouth."

"Well..." Becker sounded almost as shy. "I can think of a way..."

It really was kind of amazing that they were in a relationship that consisted of the three of them, and Abby and Becker still had periods of shyness like this.

"It's okay, Hilary," Stephen encouraged. "You can say it."

"It'd involve one of us in front of you and one of us behind you," Becker said to Abby. "And, uh, it'd involve anal sex."

Really, how had this not come up before now given the style of their relationship?

"So, something we need to try."

"God yes." Becker whimpered softly.

"I'd like to."

"That's up to you, love," Stephen said. "We'd never say no to you on it, but that kind of thing's an activity you should decide on. A little personal and all."

"It's with you guys -- the men I love more than life."

"Then whenever you want it, we'll do it."

"We'll have to do that after I'm done giving one of you a blow job while the other one is going down on me." She stuttered. "That was my out loud voice, wasn't it?"

Becker couldn't help laughing. "Yes, love. Yes, it was."

She buried her face against Stephen's side.

"Don't be embarrassed," Stephen said. "Not like we haven't thought about doing that to you."

"You need to tell me these things so I don't make an idiot out of myself."

"But we like hearing you say them."

"Evil."

"Not evil," Becker said. "It's... kind of a turn on, in a way, hearing you say them."

"Really?" Oh Becker, haven't you learned not to give your darling girl such ammunition? "So if I were to say I wanted one of your cocks up my arse..."

Becker groaned. "We'd just ask whose."

Abby nipped at Stephen's side.

Stephen yelped softly. "Mine?"

She ran her tongue over the place she had nipped. "That would be up to the two of you to figure out. I just figured since I bite at Hilary a lot, it was only fair to do it to you, too."

"Good. Was starting to feel left out." Except not so much.

"I'm sorry."

"No, not really. I was just teasing."

She licked his ribs again.

Stephen whimpered softly. "I like when you do that."

"Licking you?"

"Uh-huh."

She did it again.

"God, yes."

"I love the two of you so damn much."

"And we love you," Becker said quietly.

"Good thing since you like to shag me so much," she teased.

Stephen grinned. "The shagging is always better when you're in love."

She laughed. "This is very true."

"Not that it's required, but it does make everything a damn sight better," Becker agreed.

"And more peaceful."

"And just... better."

"Yes."

"So much better," Stephen said, looking at the two of them.

She smiled at him, feeling both peaceful and loved.

"I love both of you," Stephen said softly. "I know I'm not always easy to put up with."

"We all have our moments."

"Who, me?" Becker joked. "Never."

"But we always work them out because we need each other and we love each other."

"And we need each other in different ways at different times, but we make it work because we're better together than we are apart," Stephen said quietly.

Abby nodded. "That's exactly it. I'm not complete without you guys."

"Why do I get the feeling that there's going to be a whole lot more sex with all three of us now that we know how good it feels?" Becker wondered aloud.

"Because there is..." She smiled slightly. "That it, if it's all right with the two of you."

"Of course it is," Stephen said instantly.

"Does this mean we're also going to start buying toys to experiment with?"

"Only if you want to."

"I'm a little curious."

"And we like it when you get curious." Stephen grinned at her.

"One of you would have to go with me. I am not going into one of those shoppes alone."

"Or we could both go with you," Becker suggested hesitantly.

"Yes."

Becker smiled, happy that she'd agreed to the idea.

"It would be fun," Abby said, turning to look at Becker.

"It would," Stephen agreed. "He has some good ideas sometimes, doesn't he?"

"I think he gets good ideas a lot."

"I've had a few, anyway." Becker was grinning, though.

"Do you guys have lists, too?"

"We had all those months apart, Abby. Of course we have lists," Becker said.

"Would you share them with me sometime?"

"Of course, love."

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank us for that."

"When I thank you for loving me you get cranky looks on your faces."

"You don't need to thank us for anything," Becker said.

"That goes both ways."

"Won't stop us, though."

She smiled, shaking her head.

"What?" Becker asked.

"Just feeling happy and so very lucky."

"We love you," Stephen said gently. "And we will do anything to make you happy. Anything at all, anything you want."

"I am suffering from a lack of kissing right now." She tried to keep the teasing out of her voice, but it didn't quite work.

"Oh, we can't have that," Stephen said. "No, we can't have that at all. Hilary, kiss her."

Becker whimpered at the order, leaning his head in to kiss Abby happily.

Abby shivered when Stephen gave the order and reaching up to play with Becker's hair as they kissed.

"Oh, yes," Stephen whispered. "I like watching you two."

That caused Abby to shiver more, and she deepened the kiss.

Becker brought a hand up to cup the back of Abby's neck.

She parted her lips, letting her tongue explore the inside of Becker's mouth.

Becker moaned into the kiss, at the same time as he grabbed Stephen's hand and brought it to rest against Abby's hip.

Abby deepened the kiss reaching her free hand to grab on to whomever she could get a grip on.

Stephen caught Abby's hand in his free hand and squeezed it lightly.

She liked it when they were all connected like this.

Stephen slid his hand over to rest on Becker's hip, tracing circles lightly against the other man's skin.

Abby continued to kiss Becker, making happy noises as she did so.

"She's so cute when she makes those noises, isn't she?" Stephen asked Becker, teasing his hand up the other man's side a little bit.

Abby would have said something truly sarcastic, but her tongue was a little busy.

Becker nipped playfully at Abby's tongue, at the same time as he shivered at Stephen's touch.

Abby wrapped her tongue around his, gently sucking on it.

He moaned at that, pressing against Abby.

Abby kept one hand beside her on Stephen, but used her other hand to run through Becker's hair as they kissed.

Stephen pressed against Abby from behind, needing some kind of contact besides their hands. "God, I love you," he whispered in her ear.

Abby whimpered into the kiss with Becker, moving back against Stephen, doing her best to tell him without words how much she loved him.

This was how it was supposed to be, the three of them in a tangle of limbs and utterly happy. Becker broke the kiss off, but only long enough to gasp out, "Perfect. This is perfect."

Abby nodded in agreement. She loved it when the three of them were tangled up together like this.

"This is how it always should have been," Stephen said.

"Will always be from now on."

"I like the sound of that," he said, his hand wandering idly over Becker's hip as he pressed against Abby.

Abby squirmed a little, trying to touch both of them.

Stephen bit back a whimper as Abby's squirming brought her in closer contact with him.

This was what she wanted, to be in close contact with her guys. She was happy as long as she had contact with both in some way.

"Love you," Becker whimpered into the kiss. "Both of you."

"Will never stop loving you," Abby murmured. "Either of you."

"You may have to remind us of that sometimes," Stephen murmured in her ear. "We may need that sometimes."

"I'll tell you that as often as you want to hear it," she promised.

"Thank you," Becker said softly. "Because I know I can get needy sometimes."

"So can I."

"Hell, even I have my moments like that," Stephen said.

"That's why we're so good together," she murmured against Becker's mouth. "We're a matching set."

"Whenever one of us is down, the other two are there to pick them back up," Stephen said, his hand slipping back to rest on Abby's hip now.

"Oh definitely," she agreed, smiling at the touch.

"We tell you lately how much we like touching you?" Becker asked, running a hand down one of Abby's arms.

"Not in the last hour, I don't think."

"Well, I like touching you. I like it a lot." He slid his hand over her side.

"And I like watching him touch you," Stephen said quietly.

She whimpered softly at that because she did have a thing for being watched by her guys.

"I like watching him do a lot of things, though," Stephen whispered in her ear.

Abby gasped and nodded. "He's pretty to watch," she agreed.

"I've watched him touch himself, when he thought he was alone," Stephen said. "On the bed, eyes closed, whimpering softly..."

Abby made a small keening sound at the mental images Stephen was pulling into her brain.

"And then he opened his eyes and saw me... and kept on going," Stephen said softly.

She may have squirmed a little at that.

"He likes it, you know," Stephen whispered. "He likes it when I watch him having a wank."

She couldn't bite back the whimper at that piece of information, her hand squeezing Becker's arm gently.

"I always thought I'd be embarrassed if he caught me," Becker said softly. "But I wasn't."

"Why should you be?" Her voice had turned husky. "So beautiful."

"Because I'm a private person," he said. "But Stephen watching me just seemed so... right."

"Because it was Stephen."

"Yeah," Becker said softly. "He was the man I loved, so of course it was right. When he left me, that was one of the best memories I had."

"Oh, God..." Stephen said softly, not sure what to do.

"No, it's okay," Becker, said, lifting his head slightly to smile at Stephen. "I'm not angry anymore. I'm just saying, that was one of the best memories."

"And you've made new memories to wank to," Abby said softly.

"Uh-huh," Becker said with a nod. "A lot of new memories for it."

She swallowed, her eyes a little glassy as she looked at him.

Becker noticed that glassy shine. "Oh, she likes this," he said to Stephen. "She likes the idea of you watching me."

There was no way Abby could deny what he could obviously see.

"Why?" Stephen murmured against her ear. "What about it gets you so hot?"

Oh, he could be _so_ mean sometimes.

She whimpered. "Because he's gorgeous and I know how you react to him when we're usually together." She swallowed. "And the idea of you watching him, and I can see you stroking yourself, too."

"And he did, too," Becker said with a slow, lazy smile. "Oh, he did."

It was cruel sometimes how easily the two of them could get her riled up.

But they liked seeing it. They really liked seeing it.

"Sometimes I wouldn't even know he was there until he moaned as he came," Becker said. "Stephen's very, very good at being quiet when he really wants to be."

"Oh god," she whimpered.

"We're being mean, aren't we?" Stephen asked, his voice husky.

She shook her head. "Uh huh." So very clear there, Abby.

"We should make that up to you, shouldn't we?" This was from Becker.

"Please." Her voice was between a whimper and a moan.

"What do you want, love?" he asked softly. "Name it and it's yours."

"I don't know," she wailed. "I just want the two of you."

"Ssh, love, it's all right," Becker soothed. "We'll think of something. We always do, don't we?"

She nodded, leaning forward to kiss him. She knew that it had to do something for their egos that they got her so worked up that she couldn't vocalize what she wanted.

Becker returned the kiss tenderly. "First question is, do you want us touching you or not?" Because really, they had to narrow the ideas down somehow.

She nodded. "Yes. Oh yes."

"Well... Hm." Becker frowned thoughtfully.

She looked at him, her eyes a darker blue than usual.

"All depends on how raunchy you want us to get right now," he said, fighting off a blush.

"Raunchy," she said, her blush deepening.

"Well, then... there's the ideas we were talking about earlier," Becker said hesitantly.

"I'm not the one in charge tonight," she said breathlessly.

"Something that intimate, you're allowed to have a preference."

"I know which one I want," Stephen said.

Abby turned her eyes to Stephen. "Which."

"Both of us in you at the same time," he replied.

Becker let out a whimper of agreement.

She nodded, her eyes getting that glassy look again. "Yes, oh god, yes."

"And I want him in you from behind." Apparently Stephen was the one in charge now. He had a feeling Becker wouldn't voice his wants on this, so Stephen had to step in and voice them for the other man.

Abby could only nod. The way she was feeling right now, she was happy to go along with whatever Stephen was going to suggest.

"He wants it, too," Stephen said, grinning at Abby. "He's just too shy to say it. So we'll have to decide it for him, won't we?"

Abby turned her head to kiss Stephen and there was a bit of demand in that kiss.

Stephen kissed Abby in return as Becker slipped out of bed.

Abby nipped gently at his lower lip as they kissed.

Stephen moaned and rested a hand against her hip. "So, how does it really feel knowing your boyfriend just slipped out of bed to go get the lube so his cock can be up your arse?" he whispered. "He feels amazing, by the way."

Oh, there you were, tendency to talk dirty.

Abby moaned softly against him when he said that.

"And he has a knack for knowing just what's too much," Stephen said, his voice still that husky whisper.

She hadn't known that it was possible to get even more turned on, but both Stephen and Becker always seemed to be able to bring her to an even higher state of arousal.

That was when Becker came back to the bed. "This will probably work easiest if everybody's kneeling."

Abby got up onto her knees, her eyes still slightly glazed from Stephen's talking to her.

Becker knelt behind Abby, uncapping the small bottle in his hands.

"You should see his face right now," Stephen said to Abby as he knelt. "He's turned on and nervous at the same time and God, he's beautiful."

"He's always beautiful," she said softly, turning her head slightly to look at Becker behind her. "Why are you nervous? Its just me."

"It's also the first time we've done this," he said as he began to slick himself up.

"Which makes it that much more exciting."

"And means I have to be careful," Becker said, capping the bottle and setting it aside, pressing against Abby from behind.

"You'll do fine," Stephen soothed, even as he pressed against Abby from the front, hand going between her legs to position himself. "You always do with me."

"I always feel good no matter how you're touching me," she murmured.

Stephen entered her slowly; taking a deep breath, Becker positioned himself against Abby and pushed forward just as slowly.

Abby gasped softly at the beginning burn, but she pressed back against Becker encouragingly.

"Sorry," he whispered as he kept pushing forward. "Sorry, love, I know it hurts."

"It will be okay," she reassured him. She had read that much.

"I'll stop if it's too much," he promised, even as he kept pushing forward.

Stephen went still inside Abby, not wanting to move yet.

Abby made sure to keep her body as relaxed as possible. This new sensation was a little painful, but she also knew that it wouldn't stay painful. She pushed back against Becker very carefully and slowly.

Becker went still, letting Abby push her way back onto him. "That's it," he murmured, looking down to watch her. "Slow and careful."

"It'll stop hurting soon," Stephen said. "And then it'll start feeling good. _He'll_ start feeling good."

"He always feels good," Abby gasped softly.

"He'll start feeling good now," Stephen amended.

"She already feels good," Becker said, a shy note in his voice.

Abby shivered a little at the note in Becker's voice and pushed back a little more.

Becker cautiously pushed forward as Abby pushed back on him.

Abby felt the burning intensify for a moment and she felt like she was being stretched too wide for words, but she continued to push back a little at a time.

"That's our Abby love," Stephen whispered. "Slow and careful, that's it."

Becker was only halfway inside her and she was already starting to feel pleasure become more than the pain.

"Love you, Abby," Becker whispered as he moved. "Love you."

"I love you," she said with a soft gasp. "Love you both."

"Tell me if it's too much," Becker said, going still inside her for a moment.

"Never. You will never be too much."

"For this, maybe."

She shook her head.

"You feel so good, Abby," Becker whispered. "So good."

"So do you."

"I do?"

She pressed back a little more. "Yes," she gasped softly.

Becker hesitated before thrusting slowly, carefully. "I'm sorry if it hurts, but I can't stay still," he said softly. "You feel too good."

She pushed back against him as he moved. "It's all right, it doesn't hurt any more."

Stephen smiled as he too began to thrust.

"Oh god," Abby gasped, her eyes rolling up for a moment. "Feels... you two..."

"Tell us," Stephen murmured. "Tell us how it feels."

Abby backed against Becker while pulling Stephen closer to her. "Like you're both making me a permanent part of you," she whispered. "I can feel both of you, filling me up and rubbing against each other through me."

"And we certainly enjoy filling you," Stephen whispered in Abby's ear.

A long moan was pulled from her throat at Stephen's words.

The two men quickly found a slow, lazy rhythm of mutual thrusting.

The sensations that both men were causing were so completely different, but they were perfectly in sync with Abby and what she needed.

They somehow seemed to know exactly what they needed to do; their connection had only deepened since everything had finally worked out for them.

"Never imagined something could be like this."

"It's amazing," Becker agreed, ducking his head and pressing a kiss to the crook of Abby's neck. "Amazing and perfect."

"It's like I'm being claimed by you both in a deeper way."

"Because you are," Stephen said, his voice once more in that register Abby loved.

"Marked," she tried to explain even as she got distracted by his voice. "You both feel so good."

"Tell me how I'm making you feel," Becker said, resting his hands on Abby's hips. His voice had also hit that tone Abby liked. Her boys were not above going for the stuff they knew she enjoyed even as they tried new things.

"You're making me feel like I'm full of fire," she said, drawing in a breath. "Every move you make in my arse makes all of my nerves start to twitch. Because you know you're the first one who has ever done this to me.

"You want me to stop?" he asked, even as he moved slowly against her.

"No, please don't stop."

"Wasn't really planning on it," he assured her.

"That's a very good thing," she whispered, trying to find words for how having him and Stephen in her at the same time was making her feel.

"I've thought about this for months," Becker admitted, burying his face against Abby's shoulder.

"Really?"

"Uh-huh," he said, voice muffled.

"It feels really good," she said softly. "I never imagined..."

"I wasn't sure how to bring the subject up," Becker said as he experimentally thrust a little harder. "Because really, 'I want to shag you up the arse' isn't exactly something I can say in casual conversation with you."

Stephen was probably laughing on the inside about how the two people he loved and had done things with were still shy when it came to expressing what they wanted.

"I wouldn't mind if you said things like that to me," she said carefully. "I've heard you tell Stephen what you want when you guys haven't realized I'm there yet."

And that would be Becker turning half a dozen shades of red. He tended to have a mouth on him.

She had no idea she had made him blush as she pushed back against him.

Stephen noticed the blush, though, and laughed huskily. "Relax, Hil," he said. "She obviously liked hearing you say those things."

Abby nodded. "I like it when you two talk like that... and when you talk to me like that."

"So you like it when we talk dirty?" Becker asked curiously.

"Oh yes," she murmured.

"Good. Because I seem to have a tendency towards it at certain times."

"I won't ever get upset at hearing it."

"Good, because our Captain can get delightfully filthy," Stephen said, being absolutely no help at all.

She squirmed a little against both of them when Stephen decided to be so helpful.

"Stephen, stop it," Becker said, flushing again as he thrust.

"What? I think it's hot that you let that side of you out."

"I enjoyed what I heard that one time," she whimpered.

"Now I'm trying to remember what I've said," Becker said, laughing softly.

"I'm sure you'll have plenty to say."

"Oh, I'm sure." He fell silent for a moment, lost in the way Abby felt.

She moved back against Becker, enjoying the new sensations of being connected like this to both men.

"God, the looks on your faces," Stephen said softly.

Abby looked at him. "Tell us."

"You look like you're going to come completely unhinged at any second and Hilary just looks so... determined but peaceful at the same time."

"You always make me feel unhinged," Abby whimpered. "Both of you."

"Right back at you," Becker said, pressing a kiss to Abby's shoulder.

"This... you guys feel so good..."

"So do you," Stephen said, his voice tight. "You feel incredible, love, you always do."

"Glad that I told you I wanted this."

"Don't ever want you to hold back on telling us what you want," Stephen said. "Because I honestly can't imagine us not being willing to do it at least once."

"Try anything once?"

"Anything," Stephen said with a nod.

"Good to know."

"We could never turn you down," Becker told her.

She squirmed again, pulling them both close to her.

Becker buried his face against Abby's shoulder. "So close," he whimpered. "Oh God, so close." And yet he didn't want this moment to end.

If she could have twisted her body to hold him, she would have, but turning caused her body to tighten around Stephen and Becker at the same time.

That tightening brought whimpering moans from both men.

She wasn't sure exactly what she had done to get that reaction and tried moving a different way.

"Oh fuck," Becker whimpered in her ear.

"Feels nice?"

"Feels bloody amazing."

She turned her body again.

"Making it really difficult for me to hold on," Becker said with a gasp.

"Oh?" She was really interested in how she was managing that. She experimentally moved back against Becker while tightening herself around Stephen.

Now it was Stephen's turn to whimper. "God, Abby," he said. "God."

She grinned at him. "I was trying to be helpful."

"Only way that's helpful is if you want us to come at the same time," Stephen growled.

Oh, Stephen. Surely you _know_ better. Abby twisted her body again.

They didn't come _quite_ at the same time, but it was damn near to it; they both came with loud gasps of her name.

The sensation of the two of them coming at the same time caused Abby to squirm as she got closer to her own orgasm.

Stephen tipped Abby's head up and kissed her, at the same time as Becker nipped sharply at her neck.

Abby let out a sharp cry into Stephen's mouth as she came hard against them both.

"Holy shit," Becker mumbled against her neck.

"Oh god."

"That was fantastic," he said, picking his head up. "Utterly fantastic."

"It was amazing." Not that she was able to move yet.

Thankfully, her boys were content to keep her pinned between them for the moment.

"Love you guys so much."

"And we love you," Stephen said softly.

"Don't ever stop."

"We won't."

Abby nodded, her body still quivering between them from the intensity of everything.

"Ssh," Becker murmured, running his hands down her arms. "It's all right, love. It's all right."

Gradually, her body began to calm down and she moaned softly. "Oh wow."

"A little intense, wasn't it?" Becker pressed a light kiss to her shoulder.

"More than a little."

"The very good kind, though."

"Yes. Oh my god, yes."

"I'm glad," Becker said softly.

"I'm glad you guys wanted to."

"Why wouldn't we have?" Stephen asked. "A chance for both of us to shag the woman we love at the same time... yeah, like we were really passing that up."

[Part Three](http://enochianscribes.dreamwidth.org/12233.html)   



	3. Pull Me Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Becker, Stephen, and Abby get a much needed night alone together, they discover that each of them still have residual worries from past events and that Abby is afraid that she doesn't really "fit" with the men she loves any longer. Between talking and apologizing. they discover that even if their actions speak louder than their words, sometimes it's really nice to hear the words, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to [From Where We're Standing](http://enochianscribes.livejournal.com/tag/fic%20%3A%20from%20where%20we%27re%20standing) and [By The Time You Read This](http://enochianscribes.livejournal.com/tag/fic%20%3A%20by%20the%20time%20you%20read%20this), but it can be read as a stand alone.

  


**Title:** Pull Me Back Home  
 **Author:** [](http://enochiansigils.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**enochiansigils**](http://enochiansigils.dreamwidth.org/) /[](http://shadowcat.dreamwidth.org/profile)[ **shadowcat**](http://shadowcat.dreamwidth.org/)  
 **Artist:** sexycazzy @ LJ  
 **Fandom:** Primeval  
 **Relationship(s)/Characters:** Hilary Becker/Abby Maitland/Stephen Hart  
 **Word Count:** 44,544  
 **Rating:** NC-17  
 **Warnings:** Sexual content.  
 **Summary:** When Becker, Stephen, and Abby get a much needed night alone together, they discover that each of them still have residual worries from past events and that Abby is afraid that she doesn't really "fit" with the men she loves any longer. Between talking and apologizing. they discover that even if their actions speak louder than their words, sometimes it's really nice to hear the words, too.  
 **Author's Note:** Sequel to [From Where We're Standing](http://enochianscribes.livejournal.com/tag/fic%20%3A%20from%20where%20we%27re%20standing) and [By The Time You Read This](http://enochianscribes.livejournal.com/tag/fic%20%3A%20by%20the%20time%20you%20read%20this), but it can be read as a stand alone.

She just gave them both a very sated, pleased with herself smile.

"That was one of the best moments of my life," Becker said softly.

"Because it was all of us?"

"Exactly."

Abby's voice was slightly shy. "I thought so, too."

"So did I," Stephen said. "Because with as much time as we've been together, that was the first time where it stopped being the three of us separately and it was the three of us together." He knew it didn't quite make sense, but that was the only way he could find to put it.

It made sense to Abby and she reached out the hand that wasn't on Becker to grasp onto Stephen.

"I get what you mean," Becker said. "We stopped thinking and just started feeling."

Abby nodded. "And it was like..." She ducked her head before she said something stupid or too girly.

"It was like what?" Stephen prompted. Really, she should've known better.

"We finally had the connection snap into place for us. Like everything was waiting for us to do something like that so they could fit us back into place and bond us together like we should have been pulled together and be a bonded unit in our relationship we have."

"Makes sense to me," Stephen said thoughtfully.

She was relieved that they hadn't laughed at her girly description of why it had felt so right to her.

"I mean, sure, Hilary and I are still going to have moments where we worry about one thing or another in the relationship, but that's all they'll be -- moments." They'd been like that since Leslee's birth, but now he just had a feeling there'd never, ever be another bout of the way things had been before Abby left.

"I think that's normal in all relationships."

"Not the way we do it," Stephen said, but he was actually able to laugh about it. "We're... pretty damn special at it."

Abby laughed softly. "That's because you're two very strong and very protective of what's yours men."

"But we made it work," Becker said. "And we did it before _too_ much time went by. I mean, sure we lost a little time, but... not so much in the grand scheme of things."

She nodded in agreement. "It could have been a lot worse."

"And I'm grateful every day that it wasn't," Stephen said.

"Me, too."

"So am I." Becker kissed Abby's cheek. "I'm even more grateful that we hadn't hurt you so badly you wouldn't want another chance with us."

She leaned her head against him. "No matter what happened or happens, I will always want to be with you for as long as you guys want me."

"You say that like you think it's going to change," Stephen observed cautiously.

"I don't believe it will," she said softly. "But there are things in my past that make me always cautious that I'll do something to screw up now that we're all happy and together."

"Even if you did, we'd find a way to fix it," Becker said gently. "Just like we would if Stephen or I did something to screw it up."

She nodded. "I believe in you guys."

"And we believe in you," Stephen said simply.

She wasn't able to move much because she was sure her muscles had melted somewhere, but she needed to be curled up in the middle of her boys. Even if one ended up facing her and the other was against her back. She _needed_ that closeness and security.

Almost as if they'd read her mind, the two men pulled back and pulled Abby down to the bed with them. This time, Stephen was the one against Abby's back, with Becker snuggling up from Abby's other side.

She gave a small sigh of relief and then murmured something about loving them so much as she snuggled safely between them.

"We know, love," Becker murmured, touching Abby's face gently.

"My guys. My shields. My swords. My hearts."

"Yours forever," Becker promised softly.

"Forever," she repeated softly.

"Forever and always," Stephen said, hugging her gently.

She sunk into his embrace, enjoying the feel of the two of them holding her from either side.

"That's our girl," he murmured.

"For eternity," she promised.

Becker smiled faintly. "I love you both."

She lifted a hand to lay it against his cheek. "Love you."

He turned his head slightly to kiss her hand.

She smiled as he did that.

"I love seeing the two of you like this," Stephen said softly.

She turned her head slightly, to meet his eyes. "You do? Why?" She was curious as to what he saw.

"Because you two are so... young and vibrant and in love."

"But we're in love with you, too."

"Oh, I know that. But seeing you two like this is proof that I didn't horribly mess things up when I forced my way in. And believe me, I know that. I _do_ ," he assured them both. "But this is just the best confirmation I could have."

"I've always been in love with both of you," Abby whispered.

"I know, but you remember how sometimes I need those little reminders? Well, sometimes I just like seeing you two being in love with each other."

"Because it's a nice image and it reminds you that we're yours?"

"Exactly," Stephen said, relieved that she understood what he meant.

She nodded. "Always will be."

"Always," Becker echoed. "It may not always be perfect, but it's _ours_."

"No one had better try to wreck that for us, either."

"God help them if they do," Stephen said seriously.

"Because you'll destroy them?"

"In a heartbeat."

She nodded. "No one messes with our family."

"Not unless they have a severe case of wanting death," Stephen said. "Because really, anybody hurts you guys or Leslee, they'll pay."

She nodded, feeling a little better as she lay back down next to Becker.

"Get some sleep, love," Becker said with an innocent expression on his face. "You look exhausted."

"We have a lot of time left to be together though," she murmured even as she curled up next to him.

"You really do look exhausted, though," Becker said.

"In a good way and if I'm too tired tomorrow, I have the two of you to help me with Leslee." She was snuggling against him, though.

"It's up to you, love," Stephen said softly, stroking her hair lightly.

There was something about the two of them that always managed to relax her, and this time was no different.

"You do look tired, though," Stephen said. "But you also look extraordinarily pleased with yourself."

"I have the two best men in the world with me."

"And we're all yours," he said with a grin.

"And I can make you come by just suggesting things," she said before she thought about it.

That? Would be the two men whimpering in unison.

Abby snuggled between them, completely oblivious to anything but the fact they were whimpering.

"Though to be fair, we could probably do the same to you," Stephen said.

"Oh you have."

"I like the thought of that," Becker said.

"You guys just affect me in so many ways."

"Good," Becker said simply. "I like knowing I affect you."

"That has never been a question."

"I know," he said. "But I still like knowing it. I like _seeing_ it."

"You mean like the way I just orgasmed so hard with you both inside me that the two of you had to hold me up?"

Becker laughed softly. "Exactly like that."

"Want to know a secret, both of you?"

"Of course," Stephen said.

"You guys both have these low, husky or deep tones you sometimes get in your voices. When you talk to me like that, I just melt and I'm ready for anything you want to do."

"Really?" Stephen looked at her curiously. "I had no idea."

She nodded.

"Good to know." He grinned.

"Only your voices, though, no one else has done that to me ever."

"Wonder why we get to you then." Not that Stephen was complaining, not by any means.

"I think it's because there's also a little bit of possession in your tones when you get that voice."

"Because damn it, you're _ours_ ," Becker said.

"Completely."

"Nobody else will _ever_ touch you." He paused. "Well, unless we have an orgy," he said teasingly.

She laughed. "Abby belongs to you and Stephen."

"And is ours only." Becker smiled.

"Yes. And you guys are mine."

"I'm never going to get tired of hearing that," Stephen said.

"Mine mine mine?"

"Yep yep yep," Stephen replied cheerfully.

Abby grinned at them as she was nestled between the two men.

"Yours forever," he said softly.

"Please," she murmured, closing her eyes for a moment.

Stephen smiled at that. "Go to sleep, love," he whispered. "We're right here with you."

"Don't want to. If I do and then wake up, you guys could be gone," she murmured, half asleep already.

"We won't be," Becker promised. "Stephen and I are going to be right here."

She snuggled close between them, holding onto each man.

Stephen watched Abby and Becker as they both started to doze off. He couldn't help watching them; he spent a lot of time watching them and watching over them.

Abby couldn't help it. She was tired and she figured she'd only take a short nap and then see what else her boys wanted to do. It wasn't long before she was sleeping lightly.

Stephen just watched as she fell asleep; Becker dozed off a minute or two after her. He watched them both sleep for a while, watched the way they were curled around each other. He silently thanked the universe that they had let him into their hearts and their lives.

Before he knew it, he was asleep, too.

 

 

Abby was the first one to wake up. She was held securely in the middle of Stephen and Becker, so she just enjoyed the feeling of belonging for awhile.

Becker woke up next. "Hey," he murmured. "He awake yet?"

Abby lifted her head and then smiled softly. "No, he's still sleeping."

"We should let him sleep for a little while," Becker said. "He probably needs it."

"We wore him out."

"Yeah, I think we did." Becker smiled at the thought.

"I'm glad you both feel comfortable enough with me to let go."

"I'm glad you _want_ us to let go with you," Becker said softly.

"I'll always want you to, love."

"I'd say we should wake him up somehow, but he really does look like he needs the sleep," Becker said, lifting his head slightly to look at Stephen.

She nodded. "We should let him get a little more sleep," she agreed.

"But when he wakes up, then he's ours." Becker grinned.

"Oh yes, definitely," she said with a soft smile.

"For now, I'm more than happy to just be here with you."

"Me, too," she whispered, moving closer so that she could kiss him.

He returned the kiss gently, touching her face lightly.

"Good morning, love."

"Good morning yourself."

"You look beautiful in the mornings."

"So do you," Becker said with a faint smile.

She touched her head to his. "Are you all right, love, truly?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I just sometimes need to make sure that I'm giving both of you enough of what you need."

"Oh, you are," Becker said softly. "You are."

She smiled, kissing his cheek. "I'm glad."

"We're both perfectly happy right where we are," Becker said.

She looked relieved as she curled close to him.

Stephen's response to Abby's shifting away was to shift closer to her in his sleep.

"Looks like he doesn't want to let you go," Becker said with a grin.

She grinned back. "It makes me happy to know that even in your sleep, the two of you want me with you."

"In our sleep, we're afraid of you not being there," Becker said. "Not that you'd leave, but we don't like you being there and then moving away."

She nodded. "That makes sense. I... I have the same worries in my sleep, too."

"It's why we get kind of clingy sometimes when it's the three of us cuddling in our sleep," he said. "Not that you mind, just thought you should know."

"I never mind the two of you getting clingy with me... I rather like it. It makes me feel better."

"Feel better?" He looked at her curiously.

She bit her lip and nodded. "I have fears in my dreams sometimes is all."

"Tell me," he said softly. "Tell me about them."

"They're silly, love," she whispered, laying back down with him.

"Nothing about you is silly."

"I have these dreams where I wake up sometimes and you're gone. Both of you. There's no signs of you anywhere -- or the fact you were ever here with me." She swallowed. "And when I do find you... you don't know who I am."

"Oh, Abby my girl," he said softly. "That will never happen. I promise you, that will never happen."

"I know that," she whispered so as not to wake up Stephen, but there were tears spilling from her eyes. "I know that, I do. But sometimes the dreams are so real and when I wake up I'm just so relieved that I'm still in the middle here, being held between the both of you." She swallowed. "I used to think before, that being in the middle meant that I was coming between the two of you and was causing you more pain. But now I know the truth. I'm in the middle because you both need to know I'm there and that you're keeping me safe."

"That's it," Becker said softly. "That's it exactly. And maybe sometimes we get a little pushy and overbearing, but we only have the best of intentions."

She nodded. "I guess some of my fears and concerns of before hit me in my dreams at times I'm feeling the weakest."

"We love you, Abby. We love you so much," Becker said. "And we just always want to show you that."

"I know you do, Hil, and I love the both of you. When I'm not with you, I feel like I can't breathe or that a part of me is missing."

"But it's not," he said. "It's still there, it's just not... not the same."

"What do you mean?"

"That part that feels like it's missing, it's still there," Becker said. "But it feels weird because you don't feel truly happy unless you're with us. Being away from us in the course of a day is one thing, but being apart from us for very long hurts."

She nodded. "Exactly."

"You'll never have to worry about being without us," he promised.

"I believe that," she said softly. "Just the dreams hurt sometimes."

"Next time they hurt, wake us up."

And that, of course, was when the universe chose for Stephen to wake up.

"Next time what hurts?" he mumbled, still half asleep.

Abby looked helplessly at Becker.

"Bad dreams," Becker said. "Silly ones, but bad ones."

"Oh." A yawn. "He's right. Next time they bother you, wake us up."

"I don't want to disrupt your sleep over something so silly."

"Bad dreams are never silly," Stephen said.

She was quiet as she got comfortable between the two of them again.

Stephen rested a hand on her hip. "Good dreams are silly, but that's all right. Bad dreams, however? Not so much. And those are the ones we want you to tell us about. Because we can't make you feel better about them if we don't know about them."

"I didn't think about it that way."

"You don't have to tell us all about them, though obviously we'd like it if you did," Stephen said. "But at least tell us enough so we know what we're comforting you about."

She nodded. "I just didn't want you guys to think my dreams meant I had worries or doubts."

"But you do," Stephen said reasonably. "Not doubts, but worries. Because you're still scared that this is all going to go away. That's logical. Those fears aren't gonna go away overnight."

She looked away from both of them. "But I don't have doubts about your feelings for me." It was a little frightening when _Stephen_ became the voice of reason.

"We know that," Stephen soothed. "You can still be scared about one thing without being scared of all of it."

"Oh," she said softly.

"And it's even scarier for you because you _don't_ doubt your feelings for us. So the dreams leave you doubting yourself and not knowing what to think." Stephen smiled gently. "But you love us, Abby. You love us so damn much. You know it and we know it. And we would never, ever leave you." It hadn't been a stretch to figure out what the bad dreams were.

She nodded, closing her eyes so that they didn't see the tears that had started welling up in them.

"And we love you, too," Becker said gently.

"I know," she assured them. "I have no doubts about that."

"Doesn't mean we'll stop saying it," he said.

"Thank you. I like hearing it."

"We'll say it quite often," Stephen said.

She opened her eyes and gave them both a wobbly smile.

"Hey now, love," he said softly. "There'll be none of that."

"I know better," she said softly. "But sometimes when I first wake up from one of them, I have to reach out and make sure you're both still here."

"And we don't mind," Stephen said. "You do that, even if it means waking us up."

"You two look so peaceful when you're sleeping."

"We'd rather be awake and able to help you."

She smiled a bit brighter. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Stephen said, smiling at her in return.

"I feel silly," she admitted. "The dreams... I was afraid you would think I had doubts."

"Oh, love, maybe we would've thought that before, but we know better now," he said.

"I'm glad you do."

"We've known better for a while now."

"I'm being dumb."

"No, you're being honest about your feelings," Stephen corrected gently.

"I just... I love the two of you so much."

"And we love you."

"I know, which is why I don't know why I keep having the dreams where I'm lost."

"Because sometimes the human mind just doesn't make much sense," Becker said.

"Mind needs to stop doing that to me, then."

"Our minds do it to us, too," Becker told her softly.

She turned to look at him in surprise. "They do?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"I didn't know that."

"We have our insecurities, too."

"You've never said anything since I got back."

"Because we've been trying to make this work," Stephen said. "Really make it work. Our insecurities didn't seem to matter that much."

"They matter to me," she said softly. "Anything about you two matters to me."

"Do you really want to know?" he asked.

"I really do."

Stephen took a deep breath, looking uncertain now. "A lot of it is me being afraid you'll decide you just want him. Not when we're awake. Because I know you wouldn't. But sometimes I dream it."

She reached her hand to caress his face. "I didn't know that you dreamed things like that, too."

"I do, though," he said. "I do and I hate it."

"I understand that feeling, love." She did. There were times in her nightmares that she saw Stephen and Becker telling her to go, that they didn't want her with them.

"Because it's not often, but sometimes I dream you telling me to go, that I've pushed myself between you two for long enough." It was taking a lot for him to actually tell her this. "And sometimes I dream you telling me you regret that I'm Leslee's biological father."

Abby gasped. "Oh no. Oh, Stephen, no. Never. That would never, ever happen." She curled closer to him to hold him, knowing Becker would move closer to her as she did. "Even if for some stupid reason, the three of us _together_ decide that we don't want to be together -- and that would never happen -- I could never and would never regret that you're Leslee's father."

"I know this," he said softly. "I know it, I really do. But when I'm dreaming, it's different."

She just held on to him. It came too close to her own nightmares to not hold onto him.

"Sometimes I dream that you decide you want him more," Becker volunteered quietly. "That you decide you want your first love and not me."

Abby whimpered softly, shaking her head, clinging to both of them. "No. Never. If I can't have both of you -- and make you both happy -- then I would never, ever, try to choose one of you. The two of you make up the pieces of my heart. I would leave before I would ever do that to one of you."

"I know," Becker assured her. "I know that. But apparently my brain likes to make me dream otherwise." He laughed softly, embarrassed. "It, uh, it's why I'm always kind of clingy when we wake up."

"I don't mind the clingy," she said gently. "Because there are times I need that." Because her mind would sometimes tell her that they had coped a lot better than she had when they were apart and that they didn't need her as much as she needed them.

"I know I'm always cuddly, but those mornings when I don't want to let you go? That'd be why."

"I didn't realize that we were all having the same kind of dreams."

"We're not as secure as we've been trying to show you we are," Stephen said. "Because we want you to feel confident in us."

"I am," she reassured him. "I'm completely confident in you and how you both feel about me."

"But we don't want you to think we have doubts about _anything_ ," he said. "We want you to feel we're strong."

"You are strong."

"We don't want you to regret coming back to us," Becker said quietly.

"I could never do that," she said softly, looking down before they could see the tears in her eyes. "I don't want you to regret that you let me come back."

"We thank our lucky stars every day that you wanted to come home," Becker said. "We don't ever want you to regret making that choice."

She chewed on her bottom lip, wondering if she should tell them how she felt.

"What is it?" Stephen pressed gently.

"I don't regret anything from either one of you. I don't regret coming back to the two of you. You're my home. But the draems... they're good at showing me that maybe you guys would have been better off if you hadn't found me because you did better without me that I did. When I was gone, you coped better than I did. I fell apart and got depressed. The dreams hurt sometimes..."

"We did _not_ do better without you," Becker said fiercely. "We fought and snarled and nearly drove ourselves apart. And don't you dare say we shouldn't have found you. If you hadn't called me when you went into labor, you and Leslee would be _dead_."

Abby flinched, her eyes tearing up again. "I don't think that way, but the nightmares play on that. And I didn't say you shouldn't have found me."

"I'm sorry," Becker said softly when he saw her flinch. "I just... I don't like the idea of living without you for any reason."

"I don't like that idea very much, either."

"I didn't mean to upset you," he said.

"You didn't, love."

"You flinched."

"You were hurt."

"It was a scary thing to think about," Becker said quietly. "I don't like being without you, whether it's in my dreams or in actuality."

"I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to."

"That's never happening, love. Ever."

She nodded, giving him a small smile. "I know."

"We mean the world to each other," Stephen said quietly. "Us and Leslee are each other's worlds."

"We're a unit."

"And you can't take us apart."

"No. you can't."

"God help anybody who tries," Becker said.

"I don't think even God would get involved in that."

Stephen smiled faintly. "I think you're right about that."

"The two of you... I don't know what I would do without you in my life. Those four months... it was hard to function sometimes. And it was lonely."

"It was hard for us to function, too," Becker said. "We... well, we didn't quite fall apart, but it was close at times."

"But you were stronger than that." _Than me._

"We may not have fallen apart, but we fought," Becker said. "We fought and I'm pretty sure we hated each other at one point."

"You could never hate each other no matter what you might say. You love each other too much for that."

"Didn't feel like it a couple times," Becker said. "We... we blamed each other for you being gone."

She blinked and then shook her head. "But that wasn't what I meant to happen at all."

"It took us a while to get past the blaming each other part." Becker smiled uncertainly. "Took us a while to get to where we could talk it out."

"But you did," she reminded him gently.

"Thank God for that."

She nodded. "You guys found what tied you to each other."

"We did," Becker agreed. "Just in time, too."

"Just in time?"

"We were doing each other more harm than good," he said. "Because we didn't know how to say any of it without hurting each other."

"It's hard to explain your feelings, sometimes," Abby said gently.

"And it was especially hard for us," Stephen said. "Neither of us is exactly good with that kind of thing."

"You've gotten a lot better. You tell me a lot more often how you feel now."

"Because we're afraid that if we don't, you'll end up leaving again," Becker admitted.

"Oh." She didn't know what to say to that. She liked that they had been talking more to her and each other since her return, but she didn't like that she had scared them into it. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You didn't do anything to be sorry for." Becker sighed. "It's not that we're scared... okay, yeah, we're scared, but I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that we're scared that we'll never be good enough. That we haven't fixed ourselves enough."

"That's not true," she whispered, feeling even worse. "You have always been more than good enough. There was nothing _wrong_ with you. You just needed to find the way to approach the love still between you without me being in the way."

"You were never in the way," Becker said. "We were the ones with the problem." He was feeling horrible about this but had learned by now that pulling away from Abby would only send the wrong message. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, you should. I'm glad that you can talk to me, Becker. You and Stephen both. It was painful getting to this point, but the fact that we talk to each other more now is a good thing."

"But what I said hurt you, and I don't like hurting you."

"But you didn't say it to hurt me. There's a difference."

"I've said I'd never hurt you, and every time I say something that hurts you, I'm breaking that promise."

She shook her head. "Hilary, love, not talking would hurt me so much more. Is the idea painful that I hurt you so bad that you're afraid if you say the wrong thing I'm going to leave again? Yes. Were you trying to hurt me when you said it? No."

"It's not so much afraid that you'll leave if we say the wrong thing, it's afraid that you'll leave if we don't open up to you."

"I won't," she said almost too quietly to be heard. "I'd be sad that you didn't feel like you could talk to me and hurt if you shut me out, but I'd never leave you again."

"I'm sorry," Becker said, almost as quietly. "I can't seem to say anything right now without hurting you."

"But we're talking about our nightmares and our worries, Hilary. We're talking to each other about them."

"And I'm hurting you with them," Becker said. "I'd rather keep them to myself than hurt you with them."

Stephen made a little noise of what was either disagreement or annoyance, or possibly some balance of both. "What's hurting her is that you're so adamant about not hurting her."

She didn't want to start a fight between them, not now, but Stephen was right. If Becker was so adamant about not hurting her and keeping things to himself, that would in essence be shutting her out and pushing her away. But she didn't know how to say that without upsetting him, or without his being even more adamant that he needed to keep his thoughts to himself because he'd hurt her. They couldn't live like that -- with him convinced he shouldn't tell her the painful things that he thought would make her leave again.

"You're not supposed to hurt the ones you love, though," Becker said, but his voice was quiet and fairly calm.

"No, you're not," Stephen agreed. "But there's a difference between you hurting her and your words hurting her. If _you_ were hurting her, you'd be telling her these things and not caring what her reaction was. But you very much do care about her reaction. Maybe you even care too much."

Abby nodded, but stayed quiet.

"We hurt her enough the first time," Becker said. "This time's supposed to be different."

"And it _is_ ," Stephen said. "It's different because you're aware of what hurts her or what might hurt her. You try and protect her from it the best you can, just like I will, because we would _never_ intentionally hurt her. But sometimes it just happens. You're going to say things that hurt me and I'm going to say things that'd hurt you. She'll say things that'll hurt us. It's just a part of life. All we can do is be honest when we say them and supportive when we try to make it up to each other."

Abby agreed with this, and again stayed quiet because she wanted to see how Becker would react to what Stephen was trying to tell him.

"We're not supposed to hurt her, though. She's the woman we love. But..." Becker trailed off thoughtfully. "That _should_ conflict with everything you said."

"But it doesn't," Stephen said gently.

"Because we're not supposed to _intentionally_ hurt her. And that's the one thing we've never done. Even when things were at their worst, we were never intentionally hurting her."

"Exactly," Stephen said with a nod of agreement.

Abby let out a quiet sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry," Becker said quietly. "I'm sorry I'm such an idiot about this."

"Not an idiot," Abby corrected firmly.

"Then what would you call it?"

"Being in love."

Becker didn't quite get how one translated into the other, but Abby wasn't mad at him for hurting her, so he certainly wasn't going to argue with her about it. "Sounds good to me."

She smiled and nodded. "Me, too."

"Means I get to make it up to you, right?"

"Exactly," Stephen said again.

"Which means I get to come up with all sorts of fun ways to do so." Becker smiled, not quite grinning but close enough.

She eyed him but then nodded, her eyes full of curiosity.

"Though most of them would be along the lines of how we usually solve a problem."

She tilted her head and a small smile crossed her features. "Oh?"

"Yeah." Becker nodded slightly. "Some variation on a really good shag."

"You're always a really good shag."

"She's right," Stephen said, not at all helpfully.

"Of course I am."

"So if I had to make it up to you now, that's how I'd do it," Becker said.

Abby gave him a slow smile, her eyebrow raising.

"The question is, _do_ I have to make it up to you?" he asked teasingly, clearly in a better mood.

Still leaning against Stephen, Abby reached out one hand to run slowly down the inside of Becker's thigh.

Becker couldn't help shivering when she did that.

This, of course made Abby smile.

"I love when you touch me."

"Good thing I enjoy doing it a lot, then."

"And I love watching it," Stephen said.

"So we're all happy."

"We are," Becker said softly.

Abby smiled and ran her hand along the inside of Becker's thigh again, watching his face.

Becker bit the inside of his cheek, stifling a whimper.

"Now imagine if that was my tongue."

He couldn't hold the whimper back that time, and he didn't want to.

"But, I believe you said you were the one going to make something up to me?" She could be just as horrible of a tease as her boys could be.

He whimpered again. "Any requests? Since I _am_ making it up to you and all, it's only fair to ask."

She looked from him to Stephen and then turned back to Becker. "Love, I'm at your disposal. What would you like to do?"

"What I'd like to do would hardly be making anything up to you."

"It is if that's what I want."

"Even if it's me wanting to just go at you and forget all about being gentle?"

This time it was Abby who made a soft moaning sound.

Becker had kind of forgotten the part where he hadn't done that since before Abby had left them. So well over a year.

"I have missed that."

"You have?" And that would be Becker looking a little surprised and a little thoughtful.

"Yes, love. I've missed you just letting go of that control like you did before."

"Well, then..." Becker smiled slowly. "How can I say no?"

"Please don't say no."

"I'd never dream of it," he assured her, reaching out to pull her close to him.

She didn't hesitate to move into his arms when he pulled her close.

Stephen moved aside a little, giving them more room while staying close enough that it was obvious he wasn't leaving unless they told him to.

And Becker wasn't saying it, was focused on shifting Abby in his arms so that she was beneath him.

Abby didn't want Stephen to leave, and she focused on what Becker was doing -- not surprised to find herself beneath him.

Becker had settled between Abby's legs and was thrusting into her in one quick movement.

Abby gasped in surprise, her entire body lifting up against his.

He groaned softly as he buried himself in her. "God, you feel good."

She sighed softly, her eyes finding his. "So do you."

One hand touched her face gently, the other rested on her hip as he found a rhythm.

Abby turned her face into his hand, nuzzling it gently.

"God, you two are beautiful," Stephen murmured.

"You guys make me feel like I'm the most beautiful person in the world," she murmured shyly.

"Because you are," the two men said in unison.

"I love you. Love you both so much."

"And we love you." Becker was fighting the moan that wanted to come out.

She leaned up and licked his throat.

It came out as a strangled whimper. "Love that."

"Love you."

"Love you, too." Becker ducked his head and kissed her, biting at her lower lip gently.

She moaned softly into his mouth, running her hands along his back lightly.

"That's it," Stephen murmured. "You two are perfect, just like that."

Abby arched up against Becker, trying to get him deeper.

Becker moved up onto his knees; kneeling let him grab her hips and pull her hard against him.

Abby's eyes went slightly out of focus when he did that, but she was soon running a hand through his hair, then pausing to tug on it.

"Oh Jesus," he yelped, thrusting harder in response.

She smiled softly and did it again.

His response was to thrust harder again; Abby had always been able to trigger his hair pulling kink.

She yelped softly and arched up against him to meet his body. She loved when she could get him to let go with her.

Becker pushed her down onto her back again, moving over her once more as he changed angles again.

Stephen reached out to trail a hand down Becker's back, smiling as the other man shuddered.

Abby felt that shudder move through her own body and she tugged lightly at his hair again.

Stephen slid his hand up to Becker's hair, tugging gently at another spot.

Becker moaned loudly at that, bucking hard against Abby. "God, you two."

"You were the one who said he wanted to just go at me without holding back," Abby gasped. "Just helping you with that."

"Oh, I'm not complaining," Becker said. "Not complaining in the slightest."

"That's good," she murmured.

"Don't be afraid to let go," Stephen said. "You want to be slamming into her hard enough to make her scream a little, and you feel a little bad about that. But you don't need to." He leaned in to press a kiss to Becker's shoulder. "She loves you, Hil. You can absolutely go at her as hard as you want."

"Oh god. Oh god yes."

"In fact, I'd venture to guess she's imagined that a fair number of times before." Lord knew he had.

She nodded emphatically.

Becker hesitated only slightly for thrusting even harder, not quite as hard as he could but close.

The sound that Abby made in response to that was definitely one of enjoyment.

Becker laughed softly in relief and thrust again. "You like this?"

"Yes," she nodded again. "Yes."

He thrust harder. "So if I were to do this from time to time..."

"I'd really love it," she whispered a little breathlessly.

"Good, because I really like doing it." He grinned at her before giving a harder thrust, hard as he could manage at the moment.

Abby yelped and lifted her hips so that she could tighten her legs around his.

"I love when you make that sound," Stephen said. "I love when you make it because of me, but I love it even more when you make it because of him."

That surprised her and she looked at Stephen. "W-why?" She managed to ask through the sensations moving throughout her body.

"Because I know Hilary doesn't often get you to make that noise."

She hadn't thought of it like that. Becker and Stephen always made her feel all kinds of things and she was certainly very vocal with them. She wasn't able to keep track of what kinds of noises she made, though.

"Not that he doesn't get you to react." Stephen grinned. "But he doesn't let go enough to make you yelp very often."

"Needs to do it more often."

Becker had lost the ability for coherent words and even for incoherent ones; he was too focused on the fact that he was indeed now slamming into Abby like he'd always wanted.

Abby lifted her body to meet his and dug her nails lightly into his shoulders. There was no hiding that she was enjoying him letting go like this.

"Dig in more," Stephen said, having shifted closer to them. "He won't feel it like this, not the state he's in."

There was a flash of worry that went through Abby's eyes, because even though she wanted the guys to let go completely with her, she was still afraid of hurting them. Following Stephen's advice, she dug her nails into Becker's skin a little more.

Becker whimpered, but it was a very happy sort of whimper.

"Like it when you're like this," she murmured into his ear.

"How?"

"Unrestrained, losing your control."

"It's hard to be like this."

"Why?" She really needed to know.

"I'm always a very controlled person."

"But with me it's all right not to be in control, love."

"It's hard to let go."

"So let me know from now on how to help you let go."

"Letting me do this helps," he said with a gasp. "The fact that you _want_ me taking you so damn near brutally."

"Amazing," she assured him. "God you feel amazing, Hilary."

He laughed shakily. "You're perfect, Abby."

"No, I'm not, but when I'm with you, I feel like everything is."

"You're perfect," he insisted, his voice tight.

She knew better than to ruin a moment by arguing and when his voice took on that tone, she knew better than to push it. "You make me feel so perfect, love."

"That's all I've ever wanted to do for you." He thrust one last time before he threw back his head, gasping her name loudly as he came.

Abby wrapped herself around him tighter, murmuring things into his chest.

He fought to avoid slumping against her. "Oh God," he gasped. "That was intense."

She nodded and then nodded again, running her hand along his back and pulling him close to her.

"I missed doing that," he admitted.

"You need to let go more often, love."

"I'm so used to being restrained. Keeping myself in check... well, it helped me make sure I didn't get hurt after... well, after Stephen."

"But you don't need to do that now... not with us."

"I know," he said. "And I'm trying. But it's difficult letting go of something that kept my heart safe. And Stephen, don't you dare apologize again. I know you love me."

Abby tilted her head and nipped gently at his throat. "We'll make you feel at ease letting go."

"I was a little afraid to let go," Becker admitted with a soft moan.

"Don't be. Never be afraid to be who you are with me."

"I was afraid it'd hurt you too much, cause you actual pain that you didn't like." Well, at least he was actually expressing himself.

"Never," she assured him. "Hilary, from you or from Stephen, I would _enjoy_ that."

"That still boggles my mind a little," he admitted.

"How come?"

"I'm not used to the idea of you liking that kind of pain."

“Only when it’s you or Stephen,” she murmured, kissing him gently.

"Still. It's pain. Kind of throws me for a loop that you'd want it." He smiled and returned the kiss. "Not that I'm complaining, mind you."

"But it's a pain that blends with pleasure and makes everything feel really intense." She assured him.

"And intense is good," Stephen said. "Hil, you like it when I shag you hard, don't you?"  
"I love it."

"She loves it, too."

Abby nodded in agreement. "I do. Stephen knows that and now we get you to realize it." She ran a hand down his face.

"And even if I hurt you too much, it's still me doing it to you," Becker said with a sheepish smile. "Which kinda makes up for it a little."

"And you're here to take care of me afterward if it ever happens." She blushed. "But love, sometimes... I do like it rough."

"Then I'll do my best to recognize that fact."

"I'm sure that Stephen will help you with that," she teased.

And that would be Becker blushing slightly.

"And it's good, because it's us and we love each so passionately and violently. If any one else tried to grab one of you like we do with each other? I'd punch them."

"The idea of that is kind of hot," Becker said, grinning. "You getting all possessive over us."

"It happens a lot," she admitted sheepishly. "I have to stop myself from growling at people who look at the two of you sometimes."

"Really?" Becker looked at her curiously.

She ducked her head in embarrassment. "Really."

"Sounds like we're all a little possessive, then."

That surprised her and she looked up at him then at Stephen. "You guys get like that?"

"Of course we do. Especially since you came back." Becker looked at her. "You sound surprised."

"I didn't know that you got possessive," she explained. "I guess I've never seen anything that would cause you to react like that?"

"Are you kidding?" Becker smiled. "People just looking at you gets us to react like that sometimes."

"People look at me?"

"How could they not?" Becker said.

"I guess I just have never noticed them doing it."

"Well, we have," Becker said. "A lot."

"I like that you're possessive." she said shyly.

"Good," Becker said. "Because that was another of the things I was afraid you wouldn't like."

"It's nice. It adds to the fact that you make me feel important."

"All we ever want to do is make you feel important."

"You do. Both of you make me feel like I'm the most important person in the world."

"Because to us, you are."

"I love how you make me feel, both of you."

"We just want to make it up to you for when we were jackasses."

"You don't need to worry about that."

"I know," he said reassuringly. "I know. I'm just saying, that's part of why sometimes we're so adamant about making you feel good."

"You both are so wonderful, Hilary. You and Stephen make me feel complete."

"That's all we ever want to do."

"You do, love. Trust me, you do."

"And you're good at reassuring us about it, even if we don't act like it."

"You're mine and I will always do my best to take care of you."

"Just like we'll do our best to always take care of you."

"I know. I have never doubted that."

Stephen smiled contently. "I love seeing the two of you when you're like this. So calm together, so peaceful. Talking everything out and nobody getting hurt because of it."

Abby turned to look at Stephen and she smiled. "I like this, too."

"And I'm proud of Hilary," he said. "For being able to say this stuff and not get worried. Yes, he worried earlier, but he got through that."

She nodded, pulling them both close to her. "You guys are comfortable talking to me, now, and that means so much."

"We may be a little awkward about it," Becker said, nuzzling her shoulder. "But that doesn't mean we're not comfortable with it."

"And I understand that," she said with a smile, leaning into him.

"Even when I get a little on the idiotic side about it?"

"We all have things that we want to say but won't always know how to, Hilary."

"I don't like how that makes me feel."

"That's why we'll keep learning with each other how to talk and express ourselves."

"We have to. Because I feel helpless when I don't know how to say something."

"We will, love, we will. I promise."

"I believe you." He smiled and nuzzled her shoulder again.

"We're together to do anything we need to, and that's the important thing."

"Exactly," Stephen agreed. "I know it isn't easy for you, Hilary. I know."

"I get scared to talk to you guys sometimes, too. But them I remind myself that you're the men that love me more than anything."

"And we will never be angry at you for anything," Becker said softly.

"I know that now."

He kissed her shoulder gently. "I like knowing that you feel that way," he admitted. "I don't like that it happens, but it's nice knowing we aren't the only ones afraid like that."

"No, loves, I get afraid like that, too."

"And that's when you let us make it all better."

"Yes, because you do make it all better for me."

"We're slowly working it out," Stephen said, watching them. "It's not always easy and it's not entirely perfect, but it's ours."

"Completely ours."

"And for better or worse, we're in it together." Stephen smiled. "Speaking of better or worse, don't we have someone to be calling this morning?" He still couldn't quite believe there was someone who would marry the three of them.

"Later in the morning," Abby murmured, not about to get up. It's not even three in the morning, love."

"Just trying to keep it in mind," Stephen said. "It seems too surreal to be true."

"Did lots of research. It's real."

"Oh, I'm sure it is," he assured her. "It's just kind of hard to wrap my mind around the idea that I get to be actually married to the two people I love."

"It's a nice thought that we get to do it," she nuzzled them both in turn.

"It really is," he agreed.

"I love you both so much."

"And we love you."

"I'm glad we're together."

"So am I,"Stephen said softly.

"Until death do we part."

"Exactly," Becker said drowsily.

"My guys. Mine."

"Forever," Becker said.

"I like that sound."

"So do I." Stephen smiled at the two of them. "I can't think of anybody else I'd rather belong to."

"Always belong to each other."

"Nobody can ever tear us apart."

"This is a nice thought."

"It is." Becker stifled a yawn.

"I'm keeping you two awake."

"Yeah, but it's okay." Becker smiled sleepily.

She leaned over and kissed him.

He returned the kiss gently. "I never mind when you keep me awake."

"You should get some sleep, love. I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Promise?" he asked, already half asleep.

"I swear." She said softly.

He smiled as he fell asleep.

"So beautiful," she murmured.

"He really is," Stephen agreed.

"And he looks like he's at peace," she noted.

"He does, yeah."

Abby pressed back against Stephen slightly. "You're more at peace, too."

"I suppose I am."

"Because you have the two of us?"

"Uh-huh." He nodded. "And because things are working out between us."

"You were worried like I was."

"I was."

"Me, too."

"Because you two are two thirds of my world."

"Leslee completes it."

"Exactly. She is my little miracle."

"She is a miracle baby," she murmured, swallowing at how close she came to not seeing her. "I'm glad she has you guys if anything happens to me."

"Don't think like that, Abby," Stephen said quietly.

"I'm being realistic," she said gently. "It was close before."

"I know, but I don't want to think about it."

She pushed closer to him. "I'm sorry, love."

He pulled her close. "Being without you scares me."

"Being without you scares me, too," she said, turning to kiss him.

He returned the kiss gently. "So we won't think about it."

"All right, we won't. We'll just think about the fact we have a life together with the ones we love."

"Exactly." Stephen nodded. "And that we were able to heal things between the three of us."

"Something I'm very grateful for, Stephen," she said softly, not wanting to wake up Becker. "Because I don't know what I would have done without the two of you for very much longer."

"And I don't know what we'd have done without you."

"I'll never make you have to think about that."

"I know, love." He touched her face gently with one hand. "And Hilary knows it, too, he really does."

"I hate that I hurt you both."

"And honestly, we hate it, too. Because we know how much you loathe hurting people. So if you could hurt us, it was like you didn't care." He kissed her lightly to forestall her protest. "We know that's not how it is now. But for a little bit, we worried that it was."

"It was never that I didn't care," she whispered softly. "It was because I cared so much and I knew the two of you loved each other." She swallowed. "I cared enough to risk losing you both so that you guys would realize you had each other."

"I wish it hadn't come to that," Stephen said, just as softly. "I wish we'd been able to see it without you having to leave."

"I think that the two of you were so used to fighting that the only way to see it would be for something drastic to happen to shock you into it," she murmured, turning close to him so they didn't wake up Becker. "I loved you both so much and I knew you loved me, but I knew we couldn't keep living the way we were -- especially when I found out I was pregnant."

"It still kills me a little that you knew you were pregnant and we didn't."

"I was afraid, Stephen. I didn't want the two of you to only stay with me because of some duty you felt to me and the baby. I grew up with my parents resenting me. I didn't want that to end up happening to our baby."

"No, I understand that," he hurried to assure her. "It's just that I hate myself a little for my part in it."

She touched her head to his shoulder for a long moment. "I don't want you to think like that about yourself. I made the decision. You didn't force me out."

"I know that. It's just..." He sighed. "It's hard to deal with my feelings about it sometimes."

"That's why we make sure that we talk a lot, love."

"But you get upset when I say I hate myself for what I did that brought you to the point where you had to leave."

"Because the idea of you hating yourself for anything breaks my heart, love. You didn't make the decision, Stephen. I did. It was a stupid mistake, but it was one that I made."

"You didn't get to the point where you had to leave by yourself, though. Becker and I were just as much a part of it."

"But if I had just told you how I was feeling, I know the two of you. You would have done whatever you thought I wanted you to do -- and you guys would still haven't realized how much you needed each other."

"You're the most important part of our lives, Abby. You always have been."

"And the two of you are the same to me, Stephen," she said quietly. She swallowed hard. "And that's why I had to leave, don't you see? I loved you both enough to risk losing you so you could have each other. I knew there was a chance that you would never forgive me for leaving you."

"We didn't want each other without you, Abby. Since the three of us got together, we haven't wanted each other without you."

"But you guys were so unhappy. It hurt to see my boys unhappy."

"We should've been able to fix it with you there, though." He sighed. "A secret? When you first came back, after Leslee was delivered and we'd all patched things up together... the two of us were afraid something was wrong with us, that we were broken because we couldn't fix it _until_ you were gone so we could work through our issues. When we had you back, it made us scared all over again because we were afraid that things were only fixed as long as you were gone, that we weren't really as healed as we thought we were."

"Oh no, oh love, no. I never even thought that. I saw it in your eyes -- the both of you. I hadn't seen those feelings in your eyes for each other that obvious."

"We figured that out pretty quickly," he assured her. "But there were times when we worried. Because it killed us not to have you and when we realized we very nearly lost you and Leslee... it killed us all over again."

"But you didn't lose either one of us."

"No, we didn't. But finding out just how close we came to it terrified us. That's why things have been kind of uneven in spots the past few weeks."

"Because even after Leslee was safe, there was a still a chance..."

"That we could lose you, yeah." Stephen nodded slightly. "We had to deal with the idea of losing you again just when we'd gotten you back."

"But I was all right and I was able to come home to you."

"Yes, you were." Stephen smiled gently. "But the whole experience shook us more than we'd like to admit."

"I'm sorry that you guys had to go through that. It never occurred to me that anything could go wrong or I could get sick."

"I know," Stephen said gently. "We both know. If you'd realized that, you wouldn't have left." He hesitated. "You wouldn't have, right?"

She shook her head. "No. I wouldn't have endangered my life or Leslee's by leaving if I had known." Her's, possibly, but never their child's.

There was no mistaking the relief on his face.

She reached up her hand to stroke his cheek lightly.

He smiled at her touch. "I think that's the most I've ever been able to say about it without getting upset."

"Because you're feeling more at ease with me being here with you and talking to me about anything." She smiled softly. "Love, I may endanger my own life, but I would never have willfully endangered Leslee's. Had I known there could be trouble, I would have told you right away."

"We're just afraid the fact that you ran meant you didn't want us in Leslee's life. Oh, we're not as scared, but for a while we were terrified of it."

Abby paled a little. "I wouldn't try to keep your daughter away from you. No matter what happened between us. Even if you didn't want me, you would still be a part of her life."

"Ssh, I'm sorry," he soothed. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, love, I needed to know this. I'm so sorry that I made you worry about that."

"We don't worry so much about it now, but the first few days you were back, we did."

The was sorrow in her eyes, but her voice was firm. "Stephen, you guys could decide tomorrow that you hated me and didn't want anything to do with me, and I still wouldn't be so cruel as to keep your daughter away from you two."

"We'd never decide that," he said fiercely.

"I have worries, too," she whispered.

"Tell me," Stephen urged.

"I worry that the two of you are going to decide that you're better off without me," she said in a very soft voice. "Not all of the time, but sometimes it creeps in that I've ruined things and it's only a matter of time that you two regret letting me come back."

"That will _never_ happen," Stephen said fiercely. "We would always feel like something was missing if you were gone."

"See, I know that, love, I do. But like you, I can't help the fear sometimes."

"I don't like being afraid like that."

"I don't either."

"We can deal with it together, though." Stephen smiled. "We'll have to tell Hilary we had this talk. He'd want to know."

"Yes he would. I just don't want to hurt him with my fears, Stephen."

"I want to say he wouldn't be hurt, but... I think he would be."

"I know." There was sorrow in her voice. "And I've hurt him so much already."

"He takes it so personally. And he doesn't need to. Which is easier said than done, I know."

Abby's eyes filled with tears and she looked down. She was never going to be able to apologize enough for hurting them like she had.

"It's my fault," Stephen said quietly. "I left him, and then when you left... to him, it reaffirmed that he's not good enough for someone to stay with ."

Tears were sliding down Abby's face as she listened to Stephen talk. "But that's not true," she whispered, heartbroken. "He's better than I deserve. You both are. I only left because I thought it would make the two of you happier with each other."

"We wound up happier with each other, but it wasn't _because_ you left."

"I thought..." She closed her eyes, but the tears kept coming. "I never meant to make him feel like that... or hurt you."

Stephen pulled her close, holding her tightly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry."

She buried her face against his chest. "I needed to know these things," she whispered. "I just.. I never wanted him to be hurt."

"So figure out how to make it up to him."

"That's what I was trying to do tonight -- make things up to you both."

"So next time he wakes up, just jump him," Stephen said softly. "You jump him and I'll go into the other room, let you be alone."

"I don't want either of you to feel left out." Because, it was something that she was worried about. Constantly.

"Abby, it is all right to be with just one of us sometimes," Stephen said. "Don't get me wrong, I love that you want it to be the three of us so much. But being with just him would send him a message."

She raised her face to look at him, searching his eyes.

"Because it's so often the three of us. He probably worries that you don't _want_ to be alone with him anymore."

"But that's not true," she said, her voice full of pain. "I would love to have time with each of you alone but I don't want to make it look like I'm choosing."

"Choosing would be being with one of us more than the other," Stephen pointed out. "And _that_ is something you'd never do. Being with just one of us is all right."

She swallowed, leaning in to kiss him softly. "I love you both so much, Stephen. So much. I hate that I hurt you and I never want to risk that again."

"Being with just one of us wouldn't be risking it," Stephen promised, returning the kiss gently. "And being alone with him first would remind him you still want him for him and not as just part of the whole."

"Promise me," she whispered, a hint of desperation in her voice. "Promise me it won't hurt you."

"I promise," he said solemnly.

She nodded, kissing him again. "Then I'll take care of Hilary... and later you."

"That's fair." He smiled against her lips. "And maybe sometime the two of you could film yourselves for me."

Her eyes widened and then she tilted her head, giving him a considering smile. "You'd like that?"

"Are you kidding? I'd love it. Having something that private... oh, yes."

"Then I'm sure we can do it."

Stephen just grinned at her.

"I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

She smiled a little more. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, love." He kissed her lightly. "So remember, when he wakes up, jump him." He smiled playfully. "Or you could wake him up by jumping him."

She eyed him and then grinned. "I think it's time for my dear Hilary to wake up..."

Stephen smiled and slipped out of bed. "Enjoy yourself, love. I want details later."

"I promise that you will get in depth details."

"Good." He smiled at her again before quietly leaving the room.

Abby watched him leave and then turned her attention to Becker's sleeping form. Taking a deep breath, she curled closer to him and then ran her tongue along his throat.

Becker shivered in his sleep but didn't wake up.

She moved the blankets, and straddled him. Then she tipped her head down and began kissing down his chest.

He stirred, shifting slightly under her.

She continued moving down his body until she had reached the curve of his hips and the dips of his abdomen. She nuzzled some of the sensitive spots before she licked along the slit at the tip of his cock, then took the tip gently between her lips.

That would be when he started waking up; even half asleep, he still knew who it was. "Abby?" he murmured.

She pulled even more of him into her mouth.

He whimpered softly, twitching his hips against her mouth.

She swallowed around him, letting her throat muscles massage his cock as she pulled him deeper.

Oh Jesus, that felt good. Sleepily, Becker reached a hand down to run through Abby's hair.

She nodded, her mouth moving up and down on his hardening cock.

He was awake now, awake and moaning softly. He clutched his fingers in Abby's hair as he bucked his hips again.

When she heard him moan, she swallowed, pulling him deeper into her throat, while she ran her fingers along his legs.

He was a little confused. It'd been so long since she'd done anything to him alone -- because he knew Stephen wasn't there -- but he wasn't going to argue. He'd missed it too much to argue.

She continued working him with her mouth, moving her hands up beneath his legs and lifting his ass enough to squeeze it.

"You always did have a thing for my arse," he joked breathlessly.

Since she couldn't talk right now, she just sucked her cheeks in and moved back and forth on his cock.

He moaned loudly at that, his back arching a little. "God yes."

She picked up her pace for a moment and then backed her mouth off of his cock completely. She wrapped her hand around him gently.

"What prompted this?" he asked when he had the ability for rational speech back for a second.

"I wanted to spend some time with you alone," she said quietly. "Just the two of us."

His eyes lit up at that. "I missed that," he admitted.

"So have I. I have been beating myself up and hurting you because I thought if I said I wanted time alone with you or with Stephen, it would hurt you two. Stephen made me see that wanting that wasn't going to hurt you guys, as long as I didn't act like I wanted one of you more than the other." She stroked him gently. "So Stephen left so you and I could spend some time together alone... just you and me."

He whimpered softly. "Remind me to thank him later."

"He wants details and maybe a video at some point." She looked at him. "Do you want time alone with me, Hilary? Because I don't want to force you into anything you don't want to do."

Becker looked at her. "Of course I do," he said. "I... I thought maybe you didn't want time alone with me anymore."

"Because it was always the three of us?"

"Yeah. And I mean, I enjoy being with you and Stephen together, but... sometimes I just want you."

"Sometimes I just want you, too."

"Nothing against him, because sometimes I just want him, but... sometimes I just want you."

"You have me all to yourself for however long you like tonight."

He grinned at that. "Oh, don't give me ideas."

"I want you to have ideas."

"Good, because I already do."

"Tell me... or better yet, show me."

"I need you to be on your hands and knees first."

She nodded and pulled herself up and then turned to get into that position for him.

He knelt behind her, pressing against her.

She turned her head to watch him in curiosity.

He took advantage of that moment, with her watching, to enter her slowly.

Abby groaned, enjoying feeling him moving so slowly.

He rested one hand against her hip, his other hand reaching out to grab a fistful of her hair.

Abby leaned her head back, letting him get himself settled like he wanted.

Becker tugged lightly at her hair, experimentally.

She let out a low moan at the feel of that.

"Wasn't sure you'd like that."

"Oh yes. I like that a lot."

He tugged at her hair again, a little harder.

She moaned again, pushing back against him.

"God, you really like that, don't you?"

"You're not the only one that appears to have a hair pulling fetish, love. It feels... it sends chills through me."

He thrust slowly, tugging lightly at her hair. "I love you, Abby. And I love doing this to you."

"I love you, Hilary," she murmured moving back against him again. "I love doing things with you and wondering what you'll do next."

"I love that you're letting me try this."

"I'm glad you want to." She leaned up so that she could reach back to touch his face. "My beautiful Hilary."

He wrapped his arm around her waist, keeping her upright against him. His hand was still fisted tightly in her hair.

"God," she whimpered. "You make me feel so good, love."

"That's all I want to do, Abby my girl."

"You do in so many ways."

"I hope that doesn't mean I'm predictable."

"No, it means that your touch and your voice always make me feel good."

"Oh, good."

"And that I love you so very much."

"I love you, too." He tugged sharply at her hair, enough to tilt her head back so he could press a kiss to the side of her neck freely.

She moaned, pushing her neck closer to his mouth. She couldn't believe how good this was feeling. She had wanted time alone with him just as much as Stephen said Becker wanted with her.

"Mine," he growled against her neck. "All mine right now."

"Yes, oh god yes, Hilary."

At the moment, he was extremely disinclined to share her, something which probably showed in the possessive way he clutched at her as he thrust.

Abby moved back against him and let out a soft moan as she did. There was something that made every nerve in her body stand up when he acted so possessive of her.

He wouldn't even share her with Stephen at the moment. She was completely his.

She was his completely in this moment. She couldn't imagine being anywhere else right now.

He let his hands move to her hips, gripping tightly as he thrust.

She bucked against him, her hands moving to brace herself against the bed.

Becker groaned softly as he watched her brace herself. God, that was a beautiful sight, Abby bent over just for him.

She turned her head to look at him when she heard that. "Love you."

"Love you, too." He smiled darkly at her as he thrust again, harder.

Abby moaned arching her back which opened her body more for him.

"Jesus," he hissed as he thrust, trying to keep at least some margin of restraint.

"God, oh god yes."

Becker knew they were being loud and that Stephen could probably hear them in the other room; he also knew that if Stephen could hear them, he was quite probably enjoying it.

Abby hadn't registered that fact, yet. She was losing herself in how Becker was making her feel. Later she would probably be very cheerful that they gave Stephen such an earful.

Becker thrust harder and harder with each thrust, losing himself in doing something to Abby that he hadn't done since before Leslee had come along.

Abby mewled in her throat, moving back against him with each thrust. She hadn't felt this connection between the two of them for a long time.

He brought one hand up to grab her hair again.

"God, Hilary, I like when you do that."

He tugged roughly. It was something out of character for him, something he would never do otherwise. It was something he loved.

She made that mewling sound he loved and rocked back against him again, her head tilted back.

"That's it," he murmured. "Let me hear you."

She mewled again.

"Oh yeah," he said, groaning. "That's my girl."

She nodded, rolling her hips back against him as she braced her arms in front of her.

"Oh, fuck!" was all he managed to get out before he came with one last, rough thrust.

Abby was trembling as she bucked back against him, rising up to wrap her arms back around his neck as he came.

He groaned, still moving against her.

"My Hilary. My beautiful, loving Hilary."

"Yours," he agreed, burying his face against her neck. "Forever."

"Yes, for as long as you want me. Forever."

"Forever." He pressed a kiss to her neck. "Forever."

"Always and forever."

______

"I really don't want to move right now, just so you know."

"I have no desire to move, either."

"We probably should, though. Someone has to let Stephen know he can come back in."

"He said to take our time."

"He did?" Becker made a mental note to thank him for that later. Enthusiastically, too.

"Yes, he did."

"Good."

"Why didn't you tell me that you wanted time alone with me?"

"I thought you didn't want time alone with me anymore," he said softly.

Abby blinked. "Why would you think that?"

"Because it's so often the three of us," Becker said. "It hasn't been just you and me in... well, a long time."

"I didn't know either of you wanted me alone," she said softly. "I wanted to ahve time with just us, too, but thought I would hurt one of you if I said that."

"We're not that stupid anymore, Abby."

"I didn't mean to imply you were." She sighed softly. "I'm just always so worried about making sure I don't do anything to hurt you again."

"Stop worrying about it so much. I mean, yeah, it's good that you don't want to hurt either of us. But stop being so careful with us."

"But I hurt you because I wasn't careful enough." Her whisper was full of self-loathing.

"Oh, love..." He pulled her into his arms and just held her.

She clung to him tightly. "I love you so much, Hilary. I hate that I hurt you."

"It's okay now, though," he said. "I've had time alone with you. I'm happy now."

"We need to do this more often."

"If you'd want that."

"I would... if you wanted me like that."

"God yes," Becker said instantly. "I thought you didn't want me like that anymore."

"I didn't know I was allowed to," she admitted.

"Why wouldn't you be?"

"Because I didn't want the two of you to think I was choosing between you."

"So you chose both of us instead." He smiled faintly. "Which I love. Don't get me wrong, I love when it's the three of us. But so much of it makes me just feel like you don't want the separate parts of the relationship. Which is silly, I know."

"That's not true at all," Abby said softly. "I do want the separate parts, very much so. I just don't want to hurt you again."

"Then trust us," Becker said. "Trust us to not feel hurt when you're with only one of us."

"I trust you more than I have ever trusted any one in my life."

"Then there's no problem." He smiled sheepishly. "Because I love Stephen and I want him with us, but sometimes I miss what it was like when it was just the two of us."

She gave him a small smile. "I feel that way. too."

"I wouldn't change his being with us, wouldn't trade it for anything," Becker said. "But I miss how things were between you and me before it became the three of us."

"I miss it, too. I love that we're all together and I would never change that for anything. I do want the time alone with you sometimes."

"So we definitely have to make time for ourselves, then," he said, snuggling down in the bed.

"We do," she agreed, snuggling against him.

"Is it horrible of me that I want to take the next couple hours for ourselves and just sleep with you in my arms?"

"No, I don't think that makes you horrible at all," she smiled. She was quiet for a moment. "Oh, Stephen wants us to film ourselves for him some time."

Becker whimpered. "I like that idea."

"I do, too. It sounds really sexy."

"I love that he wants it."

"Me, too. He has some wonderful ideas."

"He really does," Becker agreed.

"Hilary?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

He smiled at that. "I love you, too."

"Do you feel better about us, now?"

"I do."

"I'm glad, because you're never going to lose me again. I'm not going anywhere."

He just smiled. "I love you, Abby. And I love that you put up with my moments."

"You put up with mine just as well."

"We were meant for each other."

"I really do believe we were," she said with a sweet smile.

"Us and Stephen... it's exactly how it's supposed to be." He smiled in return. "And when the two of you want alone time, just let me know so I can be in the other room or go out for a while or whatever."

"It won't hurt you?"

"It'd only hurt me if you didn't tell me. I mean, you don't always have to tell me because I know sometimes the moment just strikes. But if you can... yeah, then tell me."

"Always try to tell you because I will not take the risk of hurting you like I already have."

"But if you can't or don't manage to tell me, that's fine. It's the trying that's important."

"I refuse to hurt you again."

"I know, love. And I love you for that."

"My beautiful Hilary."

"My amazing Abby."

"I love you so much."

"And I love you."

Are you still scared that I don't want you?" Her voice was small.

"Oh, love..." He hugged her tightly. "I never thought you didn't want me. I just thought you didn't want me separately anymore." And in his mind, the two were very different things.

"I do, Hilary. I very much do." She was trying hard to find the right words. "You, me and Stephen, we're a family and we belong together. I can't see a future where it's not the three of us." Although, if they ever wanted it to be just the two of them, she would bow out as gracefully as she could. "But that doesn't mean that all of the wants and needs are blended into just being all three of us. My love for you is different than my love for Stephen. I've needed to know that you guys felt that way, too. We have a relationship all together, but we have a relationship with each other, too. I _need_ time with just you or just Stephen, but I didn't know how to ask." She sighed ruefully. "I didn't even know it would be all right until Stephen and I started talking about it. I've been so determined and focused on not making any mistakes or hurting you again that I was overlooking some very important things that we all need."

"And it isn't even that your love is different, necessarily," Becker said. "It's more that you love different things about us with the same intensity."

She nodded, relieved that she wasn't making this worse. "I thought that something was wrong with me because I wanted alone time with each of you. I didn't know that I was _hurting_ you by not asking for it." She swallowed. "I keep hurting you, Hilary, even when I'm trying to take care of you." She sounded miserable at that admission.

"I think maybe you need to stop trying so hard," Becker said, trying to find the right words. "Because sometimes it feels like you're still trying to make it up to me for pulling Stephen into things."

"It's not bringing Stephen back into your life that I'm trying to make up for." Abby's voice was almost faint.

"What is it, then?" he asked curiously.

"For lying to you."

He looked at her in confusion.

"After we came back from the past, I promised you that the only way you would lose me was if I died," she said, looking away from him in shame. "But I walked out on you. I left on my own."

"Oh, Abby..." He hugged her tightly. "It's okay. You left for a good reason, you didn't leave because you were tired of me."

She shook her head wildly. "Never tired of you. Never. But I still lied to you. I promised and I lied to you. I've only wanted to make that up to you and get you to forgive me for hurting you so much. I have been trying so carefully to make sure that you know I love you and I never want to hurt you even accidentally." She swallowed. "And I know I can never fix the hurt that I already caused you and it kills me."

"Abby, listen to me," he said firmly. "You did not lie. You know why? Because if it'd been just you, you'd have stayed. But you left because you had a life growing inside you that had to come first."

"I would have stayed with you no matter how unhappy things were," she whispered. "But when I found out that Leslee was coming..."

"You had to do what was best for her."

She nodded miserably. "I had to."

"So how could I possibly hate you for taking care of my little girl?"

"I... I have no answer for that." Because she had never thought about it in that way before.

"I don't hate you, Abby, and I never have."

"I just want to make you sure you know how much you mean to me and that I don't think I could live without you."

"I know," he said solemnly. "Just like I know that you wouldn't have left if not for Leslee."

"No, I never would have," she said softly.

"So stop beating yourself up over it."

"As soon as you stop thinking I don't want just you alone sometimes." Her logic was sound on this argument.

"Well... okay."

"Because I do want you alone with me sometimes," she said firmly. "Because I miss that as much as you do."

"Will it hurt you if I say I want alone time with Stephen sometimes, too?"

She shook her head. "No, not at all -- especially if you give me details later. Because, sometimes, I would like to have alone time with him, too. I love it most of all when we're all three together, very much so. But sometimes... having one of you all to myself would be nice and I can see that you two would feel the same about each other, too."

"Oh, of course you'd get details," he assured her. "Even if nothing much happened. Because sometimes the thing I miss most is the way it felt when he'd hold me after I had a hard day."

"I can imagine," she nodded. "It's one of the things I've missed with you. I... I don't have that kind of knowledge with Stephen."

"You two can develop that knowledge now, though."

"I know that, now. He wants alone time with each of us sometimes, too."

"So we'll have to make sure it happens."

"I know. Good thing we have extra rooms here, yeah?"

"I think that was what we had in mind when we found this place," he admitted.

"You two are brilliant."

"Yeah, we kinda are."

"And so modest," she said dryly.

"Modesty. Meh."

Her laugh was watery, but it was still a laugh.

"That's my girl."

"Always going to be."

"I like that."

"That I always will be yours?"

"Yeah."

"Me, too."

"And I like that Stephen is ours, too. Because I never thought about sharing him, but now I can't imagine not sharing him with you."

"He's the only one I could ever share you with, Hilary."

"Because the three of us belong together."

She nodded. "I believe that with all of my heart."

"And I believe it with mine."

"I know. I can see in your eyes how much he and I are yours."

"You two mean so much to me it's a little frightening sometimes."

"Believe me, I understand that completely."

"But I wouldn't trade it for anything."

"Neither would I," she said, moving her head to lay on his chest.

He smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"We good now, love?"

"We are."

"So it's okay for me to start making mental lists again for my journal of that I want to try with both of you or each alone?

"Of course, but it'd be even better if you shared those lists with us sometime."

"Oh I will. I just don't want to shock you guys by some of my thoughts."

"There's no way we'd be shocked."

"I'd really like to have the two of you inside me at the same time again. I also like blindfolds and paddles and..." She swallowed.

"And what?" He arched an eyebrow.

"...being tied up." She swallowed. "I really enjoyed that."

"I'm glad you did," he said, smiling tenderly at her. "I was worried that you wouldn't."

"I enjoyed it a lot, love," she assured him.

"Good. I wasn't sure if it was overstepping a boundary or something, so I was a little nervous at first."

"I have no boundaries when it comes to you, Hilary. Or to Stephen."

"This is a good thing to know."

She gave him a small smile. "I probably should have made sure you knew that a long time ago."

"But I know now and that's what matters."

"It is, yes."

"And I'll probably test that no boundaries thing sometimes."

"Oh I hope so!"

He laughed softly. "With that kind of enthusiasm, I promise I will."

She grinned at him, kissing his shoulder.

He grinned in return.

"I love you, Hilary."

"And I love you."

"You and Stephen... you are the other parts of my soul. I meant that."

"Never doubted for a second."

"I'm glad."

"I will never doubt you. Ever."

"I won't doubt you, either."

"You're an amazing woman, you know."

"How so?"

"You had the strength to walk away when your baby was in danger and you had the strength to trust us again."

Her eyes widened for a fraction of a moment. She had never meant to make them think that she thought Leslee was in danger from them. "You guys had the courage to trust me again when you wanted me to come home."

"We never stopped trusting you."

"That's the last thing I would have ever wanted to lose," she admitted. "I could live -- if I had to -- with losing your love, but not your trust."

"Stephen and I didn't trust each other for a while, but we worked it out. We reconnected."

"You have no idea how happy I was to find that out."

"I'm sorry we hurt you, but I'm glad you gave us another chance."

"I would give you millions of chances, Hilary."

"I wouldn't deserve them. If I needed more than a second chance... you wouldn't need me in your life."

"I would always need you in my life."

"Even if I'd hurt you again?" He wasn't trying to get angsty about it, he was just trying to process it.

"Yes. Because if you ever hurt me again, you would feel horrible about it without me adding to it."

He laughed softly. "You know me so well."

"I really do," she said with a smile.

"And I know you just as well."

She nodded, not even trying to deny that.

"Y'know what? Give me a hug." He grinned at her. "We needed this talk."

She smiled hugging him tightly. "We did."

"I think it went well, pretty much."

"I think so, too."

"A little rough in some spots, but nothing we couldn't soothe over," he said, holding her close. "Even with my worrying."

"But we love each other and we'll be fine no matter what."

"Exactly," he said, kissing her gently. "Exactly."

She snuggled close, deepening the kiss.

He moaned softly into the kiss. "I like just snogging with you."

"I enjoy that, too."

"If it leads to something, yay. If not, it's still fun."

She grinned at him and nodded.

"And it's been a while since we just snogged, anyway." He grinned in return. "It's something we should do more often."

"Yes we should. I can't remember the last time we did that, actually."

"I think it was before Stephen came back into the picture."

She nodded. "Maybe."

"That's kind of sad, actually. Means I haven't spent enough time just appreciating you."

"You appreciate me plenty."

"But not like this."

"This is different, true."

"It's... peaceful."

"Peaceful is nice."

"It is," he agreed.

"I like curling up with you."

"We'll have to do this more often, then."

"I like that idea."

"Just you and me, but sometimes the three of us too."

She nodded, laying her head on his chest.

"Go to sleep if you want, love."

"Don't want to fall asleep on you when we're talking."

"I don't mind," he assured her.

She was quiet for a moment. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Hilary?"

"Yeah?"

"I've missed you."

He smiled at that. "I've missed you, too."

"Let's not miss each other again, okay?" She yawned.

"Okay, love."

"You tired?"

"Getting there."

"You should sleep."

"So should you."

"But if I sleep then this will be over. Or I'll wake up and you and Stephen will both be gone," she said sleepily.

"No, we won't. I'll be right here and Stephen will be asleep in the guest bedroom."

"Promise," she said softly as her eyes closed.

"I promise."

"Okay," she murmured from against his chest.

He murmured soothing words to her as she started to doze off.

She was soon asleep in his arms.

Becker just held her for a while, letting her sleep. At one point the bedroom door opened, Stephen poking his head in.

"Didn't hear anything in a while, wanted to see how you guys were doing," he whispered.

"We're great," Becker said, smiling peacefully.

"Good. I'll see you in the morning." He smiled at Becker before closing the door.

Becker was still smiling when he turned his attention back to Abby. She was still asleep. Good.

That was when he let himself finally drift off.

[Part Four](http://enochianscribes.dreamwidth.org/12292.html)   



	4. Pull Me Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Becker, Stephen, and Abby get a much needed night alone together, they discover that each of them still have residual worries from past events and that Abby is afraid that she doesn't really "fit" with the men she loves any longer. Between talking and apologizing. they discover that even if their actions speak louder than their words, sometimes it's really nice to hear the words, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to [From Where We're Standing](http://enochianscribes.livejournal.com/tag/fic%20%3A%20from%20where%20we%27re%20standing) and [By The Time You Read This](http://enochianscribes.livejournal.com/tag/fic%20%3A%20by%20the%20time%20you%20read%20this), but it can be read as a stand alone.

  


**Title:** Pull Me Back Home  
 **Author:** [](http://enochiansigils.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**enochiansigils**](http://enochiansigils.dreamwidth.org/) /[](http://shadowcat.dreamwidth.org/profile)[ **shadowcat**](http://shadowcat.dreamwidth.org/)  
 **Artist:** sexycazzy @ LJ  
 **Fandom:** Primeval  
 **Relationship(s)/Characters:** Hilary Becker/Abby Maitland/Stephen Hart  
 **Word Count:** 44,544  
 **Rating:** NC-17  
 **Warnings:** Sexual content.  
 **Summary:** When Becker, Stephen, and Abby get a much needed night alone together, they discover that each of them still have residual worries from past events and that Abby is afraid that she doesn't really "fit" with the men she loves any longer. Between talking and apologizing. they discover that even if their actions speak louder than their words, sometimes it's really nice to hear the words, too.  
 **Author's Note:** Sequel to [From Where We're Standing](http://enochianscribes.livejournal.com/tag/fic%20%3A%20from%20where%20we%27re%20standing) and [By The Time You Read This](http://enochianscribes.livejournal.com/tag/fic%20%3A%20by%20the%20time%20you%20read%20this), but it can be read as a stand alone.

  
He woke up a few hours later, to Abby still being asleep. So he shifted position slightly and just watched her.

Abby whispered something in her sleep and curled against his chest.

He kept watching her. He liked watching her, especially now that everything was all right between the three of them and the two of them in particular. She looked so calm, so peaceful.

This was the first time in a long time that Abby had felt peaceful. The conversations with both Stephen and Becker had removed the weight she'd been carrying on her shoulders since coming home from the hospital. Her sleep was easy and completely relaxed.

Becker was glad he'd been able to finally say the things he'd said. Some of them had hurt her, yes, but he'd apologized for that. He'd made it up to her. And he'd been made to realize that sometimes hurting one of them was unavoidable. He'd also been made to realize that all he could do then was do his best to make up for it after.

If Abby hadn't been smart, she would have said that she deserved every bit of hurt that she felt during their conversation. However, she was smart and she had fallen asleep feeling a lot better with the way things were between them. Their conversation hadn't been completely easy to have, but they had done it and that was what was important. She also knew that the making up after the hurtful parts would always be amazing.

Becker knew he'd been stubborn in this, maybe more stubborn than he needed to be. But he'd been trying to avoid hurting Abby. Of course, he'd wound up hurting her, but he'd been trying not to. The way he saw it now, that counted for a lot.

Abby snuggled against him again and then opened her eyes. "Hello," she said softly, looking up into his face.

"Hi," he said with a smile.

"You're pretty first thing in the morning."

"So are you."

"I like looking at you."

"And I like looking at you." He wrinkled his nose at her.

She grinned. "How did you sleep?"

"Wonderfully."

"Good. Me, too."

"I'm glad."

She smiled, running a hand idly down his chest.

He shivered at her touch.

She leaned in to kiss his chest. "I love you."

"And I love you."

"It really did feel nice to have some alone time with you and be able to talk."

"I feel so much more peaceful now."

"I'm glad. So do I."

"Wonder if Stephen's awake yet."

"We should go wake him up..."

"We should," Becker agreed. "Let him know how it went."

"And pounce on him so he knows everything really is all right."

"Probably should get dressed, though."

"Why?" It was a legitimate question.

"... good point." Because really, it was Stephen. He'd be happy to see them naked.

"Or..." She turned to look at him with a grin. "Go wake him up with a blow job and I'll wait here for the two of you."

"I could do that... or you could come and watch." He liked that idea.

"Except that the way I feel right now, I won't be able to just watch." She leaned in to catch his earlobe between her teeth. "Besides, you know you want a few minutes alone with him," she breathed against him. "To wake him up... assure him we're all right... start off the wakefulness by being the first to taste his come as he's waking up..."

It was possible that Abby had overheard a good many quiet conversations between her two boys since she didn't usually talk that way.

Becker whimpered softly. "How'd you know?"

"I'm right, aren't I?" She tugged lightly at his earlobe.

"Uh-huh."

"Go, then," she whispered gently. "I'll be right here when you two get done." She licked his ear. "You could even tie me down to make sure I'm right where you leave me."

"Guh." He shuddered. "You'd be all ready for us."

"Oh very much so because I would be imagining... or hearing."

"Let just grab the scarves, then." He grinned at her.

She grinned, leaning in to kiss him. "I love it when a plan comes together."

He returned the kiss before slipping off the bed to grab the scarves.

Abby got comfortable and watched him with a gleam in her eyes.

He tied her up quickly, testing the makeshift restraints to make sure she had enough slack that she wouldn't be uncomfortable. "You good?"

"Perfect."

"We'll be back in a little while." Becker grinned before leaving the room.

She laughed softly as she lay back against the pillows.

Becker found Stephen in the guest bedroom. Smiling faintly, he pulled the covers back carefully so as not to wake the other man. He crawled onto the bed and into a position where he could take Stephen's cock in hand and stroke slowly.

Stephen stirred in his sleep, even as he hardened under Becker's touch. A moment later, he was waking to the sensation of Becker's tongue against him. "Hil?"

"Uh-huh." Becker grinned before turning his attention back to what he'd been doing. "Abby's in the bedroom. Don't be afraid to let yourself be loud, by the way. She's listening."

"When have I ever had a problem with being loud?"

"Good point." Becker laughed softly before taking Stephen into his mouth with an intentional slowness.

Stephen didn't bother stifling the moan he let out at that. "Oh God, Hil."

Becker worked Stephen slowly, using a good many of the things he knew the other man liked. Partly because he wanted to make him feel good and partly because he wanted to make sure Stephen reacted so Abby could hear.

And Stephen was only too happy to make noise for the both of them. He loved them both and he had no problems with performing a little for Abby, as it were.

In less time than Stephen would've liked, he was bucking his hips against Becker's mouth one last time and moaning his name loudly as he came.

Becker swallowed twice before pulling back, licking his lips. "Good morning, love."

"Best wake up call ever," Stephen declared.

Becker laughed. "Now, what do you say we go join Abby in the bedroom, hm?"

"Are you two good now?" Stephen asked, concerned, as he sat up.

"Yeah." Becker nodded. "We're better than good. We're fantastic."

 

 

Abby looked up as the two of them came back into the room. "Good morning."

"Good morning to you, too," Stephen said with a smile. And then he saw she was tied down. "You left her like that?" he said to Becker.

Abby laughed at Stephen's question as she looked at Becker.

"Hey, don't look at me like that, she wanted it."

"It's more a 'how can you walk away from the hot, tied-up fiancee' than anything else," Stephen admitted.

"We wanted to give you a nice surprise for after Hilary woke you up," Abby grinned, feeling no shame at all.

"And that was a nice surprise by itself," Stephen said, returning the grin.

"I knew it would be," she said triumphantly.

"It was your idea?"

"He wanted to. I just put it into words."

"In that case, thank you to _both_ of you for it."

Abby beamed at them both. "Besides, it was a nice show to listen to."

"How much of it did you hear?"

"You get a slight accent when you're trying to say Hilary's name at the same time as you come."

"Huh." Stephen frowned thoughtfully. "Never noticed that."

"I did." Abby was just a font of helpful, wasn't she?

"What else did you hear?"

"A great deal of happy moaning."

"I can't help it; he makes me feel amazing." Stephen grinned.

"You'll get no complaints from me."

Stephen perched on the edge of the bed.

She raised an eyebrow at him, curious.

"I'm thinking we really should take advantage of you being like this," Stephen said.

She tilted her head. "How so?"

"Well..." He grinned at her. "You have an active fantasy life. What have you imagined?"

A light lit Abby's eyes, but just like Becker had done earlier in the evening, she forced it away. She didn't want to do anything to upset the guys when everything was going so well.

"Hey," Stephen said softly. "What is it?"

"It might be too out there for you guys. I don't want to upset you when everything is so peaceful now."

"Tell us and we'll decide," Becker said from where he stood.

"You won't turn away... think I'm too messed up to keep?"

"No, love," Stephen said gently. "We'd never think that. We might say the idea's better for another time, but we'd never turn away from you."

"I like the idea of being tied down... hands and feet... and the two of you enjoying yourself with me."

"Enjoying ourselves how?" Becker asked.

"All you can eat Abby buffet," she said with a deep blush. "You don't have to just use your mouths if you don't want."

"Hm..." Becker mused. "I think I like this idea."

"Really?"

"My fiancee tied up and at my mercy... how could I not like it?"

She gave them both gentle smiles.

"And really, we can find all sorts of creative things to do to you." He grinned. "Guess this means I need to break out more scarves."

She blushed and gave him a shy nod.

He quickly retrieved another set of scarves and set about tying Abby down.

Abby watched him and a shiver of excitement went through her.

"This good?" he asked as he finished tying the last scarf.

She nodded. "Uh huh."

"If you need the restraints retied at any point, let us know." He trailed a finger lazily along her thigh.

Her leg twitched when he did that.

"Mm, you like this?" He trailed his finger back down her thigh just as slowly.

"Yes," she whispered.

While Becker was teasing Abby's thigh, Stephen leaned in to press a kiss to her shoulder.

Abby shivered at the contact from both of them.

Stephen nipped playfully at her shoulder.

She whimpered softly, trying to press her upper body closer to him.

"Mm, somebody's a little impatient," he teased as he kissed her throat. "Play nice, love."

"This is me playing nice!"

"She has a point," Becker pointed out distractedly as he moved into a position where he could press a kiss to Abby's stomach.

"Uh huh. Hilary... is right."

Becker smiled against her skin, letting his tongue dip against her navel.

That made Abby squeal and arch up.

He bit back a whimper and nipped at her stomach lightly.

The sound Abby made was probably a little incoherent.

But it was exactly the kind of sound Becker enjoyed hearing her make; he dipped his tongue against her navel again.

Abby made another wordless squeak, squirming against his mouth.

"I think she likes that, Hil," Stephen said, nipping at her throat before moving to kiss her soundly.

"Yes," she whimpered against his lips.

"Wonder what else she'd like," Becker said thoughtfully.

"I have the two of you and you have great imaginations."

"We do, don't we?" Becker grinned against her stomach before moving again, this time so that he could nip at her stomach while laying between her legs.

"Wonderful imaginations."

Becker teased her folds with a finger.

She whimpered, arching against his finger.

He eased that finger inside her slowly.

Abby mewled softly, watching his face as he started doing that.

Becker was focused on what he was doing to Abby, on moving slowly and getting a reaction out of her.

Abby made a soft sound again, twitching against him.

He smiled at that sound, carefully easing a second finger inside her as well and shifting them slightly.

Abby squealed louder, arching up against his hand.

"That's it," he murmured softly. "That's it."

"Feels good, Hilary."

"That's all I ever want, to make you feel good."

She whimpered, squirming a bit in the restraints. "You do. Very much do."

Stephen grinned, leaning in to kiss Abby again. "I like seeing you like this."

She turned her head to his. "Seeing me like how?"

"At his mercy."

Abby blushed and then smiled. "I do like it..."

"Just like you like me watching the two of you," Stephen murmured.

Abby made a soft sound in her throat and nodded. She did enjoy it when Stephen was watching. She loved it more when the three of them were all involved, but there was something about Stephen watching her and Hilary that she loved.

"Why is that, anyway?" Becker asked, fully aware of how evil he was to expect Abby to answer a question while his hand was busy against her.

He was very evil in that respect. "What?" She whimpered. "What why?"

"Why do you like him watching us?"

"His eyes," she gasped. "He always looks so happy to see us together." That was one of many reasons, but it was the first thought she managed to put into words.

"He does, doesn't he?" Becker agreed.

"Uh huh."

"And him watching makes us happy, too."

Abby nodded in response to him.

"I like making you both happy," Stephen said.

Becker just grinned, at the same time as his fingers increased their pace just slightly.

"Always happy yes." Because that made sense as a sentence from her right now.

Hey, it worked for both men.

"I love the look on your face right now," Becker said softly. "It's absolutely beautiful, Abby."

"You," she whimpered softly. "You make me react."

"Good." Becker's thumb pressed against her clit for a second.

That caused her to jerk up and yelp in surprised pleasure.

"Did I startle you, love?"

"Good way."

"Oh, good." He did it again.

She yelped again, her breath coming in a gasp.

"Oh, I do so love that sound," Becker said, his voice quiet and dark. The voice she loved.

Abby shivered at the voice and her voice turned to small gasps of reaction.

Stephen shivered at the tone in Becker's voice and again at Abby's gasps.

That dark and low voice from Becker was definitely her favorite voice to hear from him and she arched her hips up, trying to get closer to him.

"Oh, that's my girl," Becker said softly, his thumb pressing against her again. "That's my beautiful girl."

Abby squirmed again in the restraints, her breaths coming in heavy gasps as she tried to get her body closer to him.

Part of Becker wanted to ask if she wanted the restraints undone, but too much of him liked having her at his mercy like this. Besides, she hadn't actually asked.

She would have said no because the fact that she couldn't move as she wanted to added to the excitement of what she was feeling. The look in his eyes at having her like this made everything that more intense of a sensation for her.

"You're close, aren't you?" Becker asked, a very unlike him smirk on his face. "Oh, I can tell you are."

Stephen had gotten distracted by watching Becker. He so rarely saw the other man like that.

Abby didn't know where the smirk on Becker's face had come from, but she decided that she liked it. He would probably be able to tell that by the way her hips were twitching.

"Mm, someone's enjoying this," Becker teased, his fingers moving slower.

She whimpered, her body twisting towards him.

"That's it, Abby my girl," he said, his voice still in that dark tone. "That's it..."

"Hilary!" Abby's voice was turning into a soft keen. "Hilary..."

"Yes, love. I'm right here."

Abby bucked hard against his hand, her entire body stiffening for a moment, and then she felt herself coming hard as she she cried his name again.

"Jesus," he whispered as he watched her.

Abby whimpered, her body twitching as aftershocks moved through her. Apparently not being able to move her arms or legs freely made her orgasm that much more intense when it came.

"That was fucking hot," was all Stephen could manage.

Abby's response wasn't actual words, so much as little sounds of pleasure.

Becker just grinned, looking rather pleased with himself.

Abby dropped her head back on the pillows, panting. When she got her breath back she would definitely be agreeing with the satisfied look on Becker's face.

"You look beautiful right now, you know that?"

"I do?"

"You do," Becker said.

"Why?" She would have tugged at his hair if her hands were free, but she wasn't ready to be untied yet.

"You look so... satisfied. So wild."

"You made me look this way," she said, her breathing finally getting back to normal.

"I love knowing that."

She gave him a bright smile.

"Beautiful," Stephen said. "Both of you."

She turned her head so she could look at Stephen. "Happen to think the same about you."

"We're some damn pretty people," Stephen agreed unrepentantly.

Abby laughed softly. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

She gave him a smile.

Stephen just returned the smile tenderly.

She turned back to look at Becker, who still seemed very satisfied with making Abby come unhinged.

Becker grinned at her. "I think I'm going to enjoy this."

"Well, I would hope so since that it point of me being tied up like this."

"Be nice or no more for you."

She gave him a pout.

"Not gonna work this time."

She pouted more, but her eyes were full of mirth.

"Yeeeeah, nice try."

She couldn't help giggling at that.

"You're adorable when you giggle, you know that?" Becker said.

"I'm not adorable."

"Yes, you are."

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Don't stick that tongue out at me."

"Why not?"

"It's not nice."

"You usually like when I stick my tongue out in places."

"Not when I can't make you use it."

"I'm the one tied up," she reminded him with a devilish glint in her eyes.

"True, you are."

"Uh huh."

"Which means I _could_ make you use your tongue."

"I am at the mercy of you and Stephen."

Becker hesitated slightly before moving slowly up Abby's body.

Abby watched him, completely relaxed.

Stephen was more than content -- for the moment, at least -- to watch the two of them. "He's too polite to say what he wants right now," he said, his voice husky.

Oh, she recognized that tone of voice. It meant that Stephen was getting seriously aroused. "What does he want?"

"He wants your mouth on his cock."

Abby turned her eyes to Becker, but her words were for Stephen.

"He's told me before that he wants me to to that."

"He's too polite to say it now, with you all tied up," Stephen amended.

"I see." She watched Becker. "Hilary?"

"Yes?"

"Are you wanting to be buried deep in my throat right about now?" Yes, she blushed when she said it, but she still asked.

He whimpered softly and nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Then why are you moving so slowly, my love?" She smiled softly. "Tell me what you want. I want to hear you say it."

"I..." God, this felt awkward. "I want your mouth on me, Abby."

Abby watched him and slowly ran her tongue along her lips.

"That's not all you want, is it?" Stephen urged.

Becker shook his head. "I want you to suck me off," he said, meeting Abby's gaze despite his nervousness. "Like you did the first time you ever did it. I want you to torture me with it."

"You mean like I did when I kept stopping, just to tease you and kept bringing you so close to orgasming, and then I stopped. Did that over again?"

He relaxed a little. "That's it exactly."

"Hilary, sucking you off is one of my favorite things to do."

He whimpered softly and stared at her.

"I enjoy it very much, love."

"Oh. Well, then..."

She smiled, waiting for him to get closer to her face.

He straddled her and smiled down at her almost nervously.

"No reason to be nervous my love," Abby murmured. She leaned her head up slightly, running her tongue along the slit located in the tip of his cock.

He groaned softly. "Don't mean to be."

She was quiet as she ran her tongue around his tip for a few moments.

"God, yes."

She smiled for a moment and then took his tip gently between her lips.

Becker stifled a whimper this time.

She loved that she could make him react and she slowly started pulling him further into her mouth.

He shifted forward slowly, his kneeling position helping as he eased into her mouth.

She met his eyes as she sucked on him gently at first.

He reached down with a shaky hand to run his fingers through her hair.

Abby worked slowly until he was buried deep within her throat, and then she swallowed.

Becker moaned softly, bracing his hands against the wall.

Abby made a humming sound around his cock, knowing that the feeling would travel through him.

Stephen settled down next to them, attention riveted on Becker's face.

Abby swallowed again, then started backing off of him very slowly.

Becker just whimpered in disappointment, even though he knew why she was doing it.

Backing him out of her throat gave her the room to draw her tongue along the underside of his cock.

His whimper of disappointment quickly changed to a whimper of pleasure. "Love you, Abby my girl."

She continued to use her tongue to work him.

"I love the look on his face right now," Stephen said to Abby. "Hesitant, but not so much so that he's afraid of letting go."

She nodded her head, knowing that it would feel very good on Becker when she did that.

Becker groaned loudly. "Oh, Christ."

Abby swallowed a couple of times, letting her throat muscles massage him.

"That's good," he said, shuddering faintly. "That feels good."

Abby shifted, tilting her head a little further back so that she could take him deeper within her throat.

He shifted his hips slightly, cautiously.

Abby's eyes darkened a little and she moved her head more for him.

"You make me want to let go," he said softly. "Only I can't. Not without maybe hurting you." He wasn't afraid of letting go, he just needed to know she wanted him to.

Her eyes seemed to flash at him and her mouth tugged a little less gently on his cock.

He groaned softly. "Point taken." He shifted his hips forward carefully but not at all reluctantly now.

She moved her body up against his as much as she could, and swallowed again, taking him into her throat as he moved.

He bucked his hips slightly. "Too much?"

Her response was to swallow... hard.

"Oh, fuck!" he gasped, startled. "No, definitely not too much at all."

She would have smiled at him in response, but she was busy using her throat and the very edges of her teeth to work on him.

"He loves that," Stephen observed, his attention still riveted on Becker's face. "What you're doing, he loves it." And he loved seeing Becker reacting, losing control.

Abby backed her head down so that she had some room to run her tongue along the underside of Becker's cock. She was enjoying this as much as Becker was because he was actually letting himself go.

Becker was grateful for the fact that he'd braced himself against the wall. If he hadn't, he'd have gone weak at what she was doing to him.

She spent a few more moments working him with her tongue and teeth before she started working him back into her mouth and then into her throat again.

He whimpered and his head tilted back, a moan escaping him. "That's it, Abby, that's what I wanted."

She was glad that he was finally telling her that he wanted this. She finally got him buried deep in her throat again and paused to allow them both to just enjoy how it felt for him to be like that.

He shuddered again. "Oh God, Abby. This is _perfect_."

She swallowed slowly and then when he was still reacting to that, she swallowed hard.

That very nearly undid him; it was only through sheer luck that he was able to hold back.

She watched his face and then continued to work her mouth up and down on his cock.

"He's close," Stephen murmured. "It's up to you, Abby. Does he come now or not?"

She swallowed around Becker's cock two more times, pulling at him gently and encouraging him to let go and come.

He was trying to hold out, torturing himself by not coming, but he couldn't last any longer. Finally, with a surprisingly gentle thrust of his hips, he came.

Abby's mouth and throat kept working him until he was completely spent.

"God," he whispered. "Just... God."

She looked up at him when she gently worked her mouth off of him and then smiled.

"That was intense," he managed to say.

"I'm very glad you enjoyed it."

"I more than enjoyed it."

She grinned, looking very pleased with herself. "Never worry about telling me what you want or need, Hilary."

"I wasn't sure if it was appropriate."

She blinked. "Appropriate?"

"Yeah. I wasn't sure if you could manage it given the position you're in."

A slow smile spread across her face. "And now you no longer have any doubts as to what I can manage?"

"None whatsoever," he assured her with a smile in return.

"Good."

"Now the only worry I have is Stephen feeling left out right now."

She turned to look at Stephen, eyebrow raised.

"The only way I'd feel left out was if I couldn't be in the room," Stephen assured them both. "Even just watching you two is amazing."

"Why?" There was genuine curiosity in her voice.

"I like seeing you two together. I like seeing you two enjoying each other."

"But why?" She was trying to understand how he could be so happy watching them and not getting involved. She still had the worry about one of them feeling excluded.

"Because it's something I don't get to see when I'm with the two of you."

"It makes you happy to be able to see us?"

"It does," Stephen said with a nod.

Abby was thoughtful for a moment. "And you don't feel excluded?"

"Not in the least."

Abby searched his eyes, but she could see that he meant what he was telling them. "All right."

"Participating is nice, yeah, but this has its own advantages, too," he assured her.

She smiled at him. "All right. I'll try not to worry about you."

"Besides, it's not like you won't be watching him with me sometimes. Or him watching us. We'll mix things up a little sometimes."

"Or listening to the two of you." She nodded. "But yes, we will always mix things up like that."

"I still can't believe you enjoyed listening to us," Becker said, turning a faint shade of red.

"It was pretty to hear and I loved knowing you two were so into each other."

"It did sound rather pretty, didn't it?" Becker grinned cheerfully.

"Uh huh..." Abby's eyes took on a glazed look for a moment as she remembered.

Stephen just laughed huskily.

That caused a shiver to move through Abby's body.

Becker moved off Abby, which let Stephen move in closer.

"I love you both so damned much."

"And we love you." Stephen leaned in to kiss her deeply.

Abby moaned into the kiss, pushing her face closer to his.

"Do you want me to untie you?" Stephen whispered against her lips.

"No," she whispered. "I want to see what you come up with. Only fair, after all."

"Love, I want to shag you senseless."

"Then why aren't you?"

"Mm, someone's in a hurry," he teased. "I'm not allowed to take my time?"

She licked his bottom lip. "I'm always impatient when it comes to my guys," she said honestly. "But you can take your time."

Stephen grinned as he moved between her legs, kneeling and resting his hands on her hips.

Her eyes followed every movement he was making.

He lifted her hips slightly and positioned himself before entering her slowly.

Abby whimpered softly at how good that felt.

"That's a very good noise," Becker encouraged. "One of her best noises."

It was one of those noises that both of her men seemed to cause her to make quite easily.

Stephen bucked his hips carefully, easing into a rhythm.

"Oh god, you feel good, love."

"Glad you think so," Stephen said, fingers flexing against her skin.

"Know so," she said firmly.

Stephen thrust harder, knowing she'd react to him.

A low moan was drawn from Abby's throat.

"That's it," Becker said softly. "React to him. Let me hear you."

Abby whimpered.

"I like seeing you react to him," Becker whispered, his mouth now near her ear. "I like hearing it, too."

Abby made a keening sound in her throat when Becker did that.

Becker nipped playfully at her ear.

She shivered, and that shiver moved through her entire body.

The shiver reached Stephen and made him thrust harder.

She arched up to meet his thrust.

He tightened his hands on her hips, despite knowing he'd leave a mark. He didn't care at the moment.

"God I love you guys so much."

"And we love you," Becker whispered in her ear.

Having Becker talking to her like that and having Stephen thrusting into her at the same time caused Abby to whimper again.

"That's a beautiful noise," Becker murmured. "I like knowing we're the cause of it, too."

"You are. You so are."

"The both of us."

She nodded in agreement. "Both of you. No one has ever made me react and feel the way the two of you do."

"I like knowing that," Becker admitted, even as he nipped at Abby's ear again.

Abby made a whimpering moan.

Stephen grinned. "You do like reacting to him, don't you?" he teased as he thrust.

"Uhhh uh huh. Both. Can't help it."

He laughed as he moved. "You're at our mercy and you love it."

"Oh god I so do."

"We'll have to remember this for the future."

Stephen's words caused a tremor to move through her.

"Oh, I think someone likes that."

Abby squirmed, arching herself up to press against him.

Stephen just grinned and thrust harder.

Abby made a soft yelping noise when he did that. It was very clearly a noise of enjoyment.

"I think she liked that, Stephen," Becker said. "Do it again."

Stephen was only too happy to oblige.

Abby made the same happy yelping sound again.

Stephen chuckled lowly. "That's our girl."

"Good," she gasped. "So good."

"I love hearing you react to us." Stephen thrust harder. "I love hearing it now especially. Because you can't get away, all you can do is react."

Abby moaned, squirming against him.

"You're stuck right where you are," Stephen said, settling into a hard rhythm.

"Don't want to be anywhere else," she gasped, her hips moving to meet him.

"Good. Because I think we'd both be sad if you did."

"Never go."

"Good," Becker whispered, his mouth inches from her ear again.

She groaned, her eyes closing for a moment.

"You're ours," Becker whispered. "Ours forever."

"Yes, yours. Always yours."

Becker traced his tongue along the shell of her ear teasingly.﻿

Abby whimpered softly.

"We're trying to drive you wild," Becker whispered. "Is it working yet?"

"Uh huh."

"Good." He traced his tongue against her ear again. "Means we're doing our jobs."

She nodded, not able to find the right words for everything she was feeling.

"And all we ever want to do is make you feel very, very good."

"You do. You do."

"And he can make you feel amazing even when he isn't touching you, can't he?" Stephen asked.﻿

"God yes."

"He's good like that."

"Uh huh. Really good."

Becker's response was to breathe against her ear.﻿

Abby mewled and arched up against Stephen.

"That's our boy," Stephen said proudly. "That's our Captain for you."

She whimpered, nodding her head.

"He's a man of many talents."

There was no way she would argue against that.

Becker tugged lightly at her earlobe with his teeth, at the same time as Stephen thrust even harder.

Abby made a soft keening sound, squirming against both of them.

"Let go, love," Stephen urged. "Let go."

Her eyes were locked on his. "Stephen..."

"Yes?"

She whimpered, squirming and lifting up against him.

"Love you, Abby," Stephen said as he moved against her. "Love you for wanting this."

"A while," she whispered. "Wanted it for awhile. Love you. Trust you."

"Your trust means everything to us," Becker said softly.

"Always trust you," she said in a whimpering voice.

"Even when we're being stupid?" The smile could almost be heard in his voice, though.

"Never stupid," she whispered, squirming up against Stephen.

"Not anymore, at least."

Abby was so close, as the way she was beginning to move against Stephen in a bit of desperation. "My guys. Not stupid ever."

"How can we argue with her, Hil?" Stephen asked with a laugh. "She's stubborn."

"Yours, though."

"Damn right you are."

"Uh huh. Always."

Stephen just grinned at her and thrust harder.

Abby yelped out Stephen's name as she arched up, her body shaking as she felt herself come against him.

Stephen came a moment after she did, with a wordless moan.

She couldn't hold him, but she did manage to make her body tighten around him as they rode out their orgasms together.

"Jesus," he managed to say.

"God," she said helpfully.

"You two are beautiful when you shag," was Becker's contribution.

"The two of you are too."

"We're pretty in all our combinations," Stephen said with a grin.

Abby nodded in complete agreement.

"I do think we should untie you now, though," he said to her.

"Probably," she agreed. She needed to be able to hold onto them for a little while.

Stephen moved to untie Abby's ankles, as Becker quickly untied her wrists.

Abby was feeling weak and tired, but it was for all of the right reasons.

"You okay?" Becker checked. "Besides sore, I mean."

"Oh yes," she assured him quickly."So very much yes."

"Okay, then." He smiled.

"I don't think I'll be much good to you two for a day or two, though," she said regretfully.

"Just means we get to pamper you," Stephen said with a grin. "Pamper you and take care of Leslee."

"Oh that sounds lovely."

"Whatever you want, it's yours."

"I have everything I want."

"Oh, you've got to be able to think of something."

The look she gave them was serious. "But I mean it. I have the two of you who love me completely and I have our daughter."

"Something we can pamper you with."

"Caffeine, bubbles baths, cuddles, chocolate, sleep... " She grinned. "You guys getting up with Leslee the next couple of nights?"

"Of course we are," Stephen said.

She smiled. "That's pampering all by itself."

"Hey, we said we were pampering you."

She grinned. "Letting me sleep through the night when she's overly fussy would be heavenly."

"We'll take care of her the next few nights," Becker assured her.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"You're welcome, love."

She smiled at them both.

"You look so peaceful right now," Stephen observed.

"I'm with the two men I love more than anything in the world. I got to be with them again."

"You'll have plenty of times to be with us," Becker assured her.

The assurance was very nice to hear.

"And we got to talk things out, which I didn't realize was needed so badly."

"I didn't, either," Becker said. "But more importantly, we got to talk it out without things going wrong."

"Yes," she agreed. "That is the most important."

"And we're three volatile people," Stephen said. "It could've been a bad conversation, but it wasn't. That means it was meant to happen now."

She nodded. "I was thinking that, too," she murmured.

"I'm just glad it happened," Becker said. "We needed it. Badly."

"I agree."

"Jenny will probably be glad she's returning Leslee to a set of parents who have everything sorted out."

"Of that I have no doubt," Abby nodded.

"She'd probably knock the lot of us into next week if we didn't have it all figured out." Which didn't necessarily mean that they had everything fixed. But they had a good grasp on everything now, knew what was wrong. Now they could fix it properly.

"She knows how much we love each other."

"Maybe now she'll stop eyeing me like she wants to slap me for something," Stephen said.

"Jenny wouldn't slap you, love."

"No, but she's certainly had that look in her eye like she wanted to."

"Sweetheart, she wouldn't do anything so tame as slapping you."

"Oh, I know. But she gets that look in her eye. The one that says 'I have to think about slapping you because fantasizing about killing you is bad form.' That one."

Becker just snickered.

Abby giggled.

"And while I deserve that look, it still scares me," Stephen said.

"You don't deserve that look."

"No, but she's protective of the two of you. I was the outsider intruding on you two."

"But you're family now."

"Which is why she'll be glad she can stop worrying about me being stupid."

"Get her to help plan the wedding and you won't ever be on her kill list again."

"I may have to do that."

"In fact..." Abby's smile turned impish. "You and Hilary get to plan the wedding and make the arrangements. I did the research and found the answer for us -- now you guys get to make plans."

"Then we're _definitely_ getting Jenny's help," Stephen said. "Because somehow I think a wedding is a little beyond us."

"I think you'd be wonderful at it."

"I can plan a lot of things, but a wedding isn't one of them," Becker said. "Too many details to get wrong."

Abby just grinned at them both.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Oh hell yes."

"Why?"

She grinned at them both. "Because you told me I could ask for anything and I would get it, but you had no idea this would be one of the things I asked for."

"And you'll get it," Becker said. "We just make no promises that it'll resemble something you'll actually want to remember."

"I have everything I want as long as we're married, I don't care." She smiled. "And it will be something I want to remember because it will be the day that I became legally yours, too."

"You deserve a nice wedding, though," Stephen said.

"As long as I have you, I don't care what kind of wedding we have."

"We care what you deserve."

"That's why you're in charge of it."

"You've just given us panic attacks, though."

"No panic attacks," she murmured. "Don't let something like planning a wedding for the three of us cause such anxiety."

"I don't want to screw it up," Stephen said quietly.

She shifted so that she could look at both of them. "There is no way that you will," she said softly. "Do you two really think I need something huge and showy? As long as you're there and our friends are, there's nothing more that we need."

"You may not need more, but we want to give you more," Becker pointed out.

"And that's just it," she pointed out. "You're giving it to me so no matter what it will be special."

"I hope you're right," he said doubtfully.

"Would I say it if I didn't believe it?"

"No, of course not."

"There you go."

"We're allowed to worry, though," Becker said. "Because it's our wedding. It should be perfect for you."

"It's _our_ wedding. It should be what all three of us want."

"We just want it to be perfect for you."

"Guys, listen to me. I have you and I have Leslee. Nothing will ever be more perfect than that."

"Doesn't mean we can't try."

"But don't cause yourself stress and anxiety over it."

"Too late." Becker was smiling faintly, though.

She pulled them both to her and kissed first one and then the other.

Becker smiled against her lips. "We just want to give you the wedding you deserve. I'd say 'the wedding every little girl dreams of,' but I have a feeling you didn't so much dream of that wedding."

She shook her head, but didn't move away. "No, I didn't. But then again, this is so much better than any dreams anyone could ever have."

"What kind of wedding did you imagine?" Stephen asked curiously.

Abby shook her head.

"You didn't imagine it at all?" he pressed gently.

"No, I didn't imagine weddings at all," she said faintly. "I didn't dare."

"Well, imagine it now."

There was a few moments of silence from her. "I can't," she said finally. "I can't see anything of that day beyond being with the two of you."

"And that's what you'll have," Becker said.

"I'm sorry, Stephen," she said softly, holding onto both of them.

"Don't be."

She swallowed, closing her eyes. "My childhood really didn't give me the luxury of dreaming about normal things. I can't tell you about what kind of wedding I dreamt about, because I didn't. I dreamt of escaping."

"And you have," Stephen said. " _We're_ your escape."

She nodded, still not opening her eyes. "But so much more than that. You're my heart, my soul and my life. If I had to choose between being safe and being loved by the two of you? I'd choose you every time."

"We'd pick your safety every time," Stephen said. "That's the most important thing to us."

"I stay with you, you keep me safe. Fairly obvious."

"Can't exactly argue with that logic." Becker grinned.

Abby smiled at them both.

"Well, we can, because we're stubborn and silly," he amended. "But we're not going to."

Abby giggled.

"That's our girl," Stephen said with a smile. "I love your laugh."

She curled close to Stephen, trying to tug Becker closer to her, too.

Becker obediently moved closer. He'd never deny Abby anything, but especially not this.

She needed to feel them both curled against her as she tried to stay awake. Soreness was settling in and so was exhaustion, but she wanted to stay awake and just enjoy being with her guys.

"You look tired," Becker murmured, because it was hard not to notice. "Go back to sleep."

"I don't want to yet. I like hearing your voices and having you holding me like this."

"We've got a guy to contact in the morning, love. You want to be well-rested, don't you?"

"You're doing the contacting, remember."

"Yes, but you don't even want to be listening to our end of the conversation?"

"Oh, well, yes."

"So you need to be well-rested," he reasoned. "Don't want you falling asleep on us."

She smiled. "Guys, with everything we've done tonight, I'm going to need more than a nap."

"You've got plenty of time to sleep in," he assured her. "It's only what, four in the morning?"

She smirked. "You realize that when the muscles start setting in that I'm going to have some issues moving very far for a few days?"

"So you won't move," Stephen said with a shrug. "You'll let us take care of you."

"I like the idea of you taking care of me."

"I like it, too," Becker said. "I'd say it's an apology for hurting you, but I'm not sorry and I didn't hurt you."

"No you didn't hurt me and I'm not sorry about anything we did."

"So then... we'll call it the perfect end to everything."

"Sounds perfect."

Becker smiled. "You know I'll be fussing a lot more than Stephen, right? It's just how I am."

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Doesn't mean I won't be fussing a lot, though," Stephen put in. "Hell, I'll probably be helping him with his fussing."

"Double the fussing double the fun."

"Yeah, 'double the fun' is so not a phrase I can hear and think of it cleanly," Stephen said, smirking.

"Why do you think I said it?"

"You little brat."

"Your brat, though."

"Exactly."

She smiled, snuggling down amongst them.

Becker pressed a kiss to her head.

"Love you," she murmured.

"Love you, too."

"Tonight has been amazing, just so you know."

"That's all we ever want."

"It's what I want, too."

"Then everybody wins." Stephen smiled.

"Oh yes. Very much win."

"And winning is good."

"I wouldn't know," she said as seriously as she could manage. "I'm not at all competitive."

Stephen just looked at her a moment before snickering.

That killed her attempt at seriousness and she started giggling.

"I love your laugh," Becker said softly. "And I love how easily he makes you laugh."

She turned to kiss Becker. "You make me laugh, too."

"I know." He smiled against her lips.

She smiled, running a hand through his hair.

That made him smile again.

"My guys. My wonderful, beautiful, loving guys."

"Yours forever," Becker said softly.

"And I'm yours."

"We'll do our best to always make sure you feel properly appreciated," Stephen said.

"You do, love. You do."

"We never want you to feel unappreciated." Stephen looked at her. "That's a mistake we've made once already. It's not one we want to repeat."

Abby reached a hand up to lay it against his cheek. "You've both more than made up for it, love."

"I know that," Stephen said. "It's just not one I ever want to make again."

"I know that you won't. Both of you...and I... we need each other."

"Damn right we do," Becker said.

She nodded. "We do."

"I'm not good with admitting to needing anything, but... I need you both," Stephen said softly. "I need you both in my life."

"We're not going anywhere, Stephen," Abby said gently. "I'm never going anywhere again because I need you just as much as you need us."

"One big happy family." Stephen smiled. "A little dysfunctional, but so what?"

"Every family has their dysfunctions."

"True," he allowed.

"And ours..." She chewed on her lip. "They are nowhere near as bad as some other families."

"Also true."

She nodded.

"Ours make us who we are."

"And make us stronger."

"And really aren't so bad," Becker said.

"That's my thought, too."

He grinned. "Great minds think alike."

She laughed softly.

"You have an amazing laugh, you know that?"

"I think you may be a little biased."

"And that's a problem?"

She didn't have an answer for that because she yawned instead.

"Get some rest, love."

She shook her head, even as her eyes were closing.

"We'll be here when you wake up."

"Not tired," she lied, curling close to the two of them as her body's need for rest warred with her determination to stay awake and talk more with them.

"He's right," Stephen said. "We'll be here when you wake up."

"Promise. Or at least leave a note if you have to go." Because sometimes it scared the hell out of her when she woke up and they were gone.

"Promise," he said softly.

Abby nodded slightly, holding onto both of them as she finally fell asleep.

Becker fell asleep first; Stephen was awake a little while longer, just watching the two of them, but soon enough he was asleep as well.

At some point in her sleep, Abby managed to somehow move her body to where she was covered by both of her guys.

 

 

Stephen woke first; when he realized the other two were still asleep, he just lay there and watched them. Sometimes it was still hard to believe they were really his, but in a really good way.

Abby made a soft sound in her sleep and her hand reached out to hold him.

He took her hand in one of his. "I'm right here, love."

That touch seemed to settle her and as soon as she had also held onto Becker, she quieted.

Becker woke a few minutes later; only when he'd reflexively checked that Abby was still there did he settle down.

"We're always going to worry that she'll be gone, aren't we?" Stephen asked.

"Yeah," Becker said softly. "We'll always check for her every time we wake up, because the idea of her being gone again terrifies us. We know she won't leave, but that doesn't change the being scared."

"But we know she won't leave," Stephen said. "It's not our fault our brains act up when we've just woken up."

Becker laughed quietly. "Exactly." It was so easy to talk with Stephen now. There was none of the awkwardness of the few months they'd been together before Abby had left them. And there was none of the awkwardness of the time she'd been gone. Things were finally the way they were supposed to be between them.

"I love you, y'know," Stephen murmured.

"I know." There was only warmth in Becker's voice as he replied, warmth and utter confidence in the other man's words.

Stephen could only smile at Becker's confidence in him. "I missed that."

"Missed what?" Becker lifted his head slightly, looking confused.

"The way you sound so confident in me when I say I love you, like there's no doubt in your mind."

"That's because there's not." Becker tugged his hand away from Abby to reach over and touch Stephen's face gently, sliding his hand back to cup the other man's neck briefly. "I love you, Stephen Hart, and there are three things in this world about you that I will never, ever doubt. One, that you love me. Two, that you love Abby. Three, that you want this to work."

"I missed your faith in me, too," Stephen said, smiling gently at Becker's touch.

"I will always have faith in you," Becker promised. "For the rest of our lives."

If Abby weren't between them, Stephen would've leaned in to kiss Becker at that. Since she was, he settled for giving the other man a look full of promise.

Abby shifted slightly in her sleep.

"Quiet," Stephen said softly. "We don't want to wake her up."

If she had been awake to hear that, she might have said that she wouldn't mind if they woke her up -- even if her body was telling her that she needed a great deal of rest for awhile.

"She's going to be out like a light for a while," Becker said, pulling his hand away. "We did a number on her."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Stephen said. "And it's so not."

"I know. I just don't know if I like being responsible for her being nearly incapacitated."

"You may not like it, but _she_ does, and isn't that what matters?" Stephen pointed out.

Abby made a soft sound in her sleep, and then a soft smile crossed her face and she quieted again.

"God, look at her," Becker said softly. "She looks so beautiful when she sleeps. It's entirely different from when she's awake."

"I know," Stephen said, equally softly. "She's so fierce and determined when she's awake. This... she's calm and innocent and everything good in the world."

Abby didn't move or make a sound besides the soft breathing that meant she was deeply asleep. She was in a peaceful sleep not haunted by nightmares tonight.

"She's ours," Becker said softly. "Ours."

"She is," Stephen said with a nod. "It's... mind-blowing to think that she's mine. Because the way I came back into your lives wasn't exactly a good start to things."

"No, it wasn't," Becker said dryly. "But we got through it and we made things work."

"Sometimes I'm amazed that we've managed to make it work so well," Stephen admitted. "Not that I'm complaining, don't get me wrong. I just look back at how it started and wonder how we got to this amazing relationship we have now."

"A lot of screw-ups, some feeling sorry for ourselves, and a whole lot of determination to prove ourselves," Becker said. "Once you stopped being such a jackass, things were pretty wonderful."

"Yeah, I was rather horrid, wasn't I?"

"For a while, yes." Becker smiled tenderly. "But you were just uncertain about where you fit in and how things were going to work. I wasn't much better, some days." It'd taken him a while to own up to that. For a long while, he'd wanted to blame it all on Stephen, but the fact was that he hadn't been any help, either.

Abby sighed softly in her sleep, murmuring what might have been their names before she went still once more.

Stephen smiled, bringing a hand up to touch Abby's face gently. "Look at her," he said softly. "She's so beautiful."

"She is," Becker agreed. "And she's ours. For the rest of our lives and beyond, she's ours."

As if she heard them, Abby made a soft sound of happiness in her sleep.

"I love the little sounds she makes," Stephen said. "They just... they're her."

"I know what you mean," Becker replied. "They just fit."

If Abby had been awake, she probably would have been blushing.

"She's perfect," Stephen said. "I know she'd argue with that if she were awake, but... she can't argue the truth when she's asleep."

Becker laughed softly. "No, she can't," he agreed. "But even when she argues... you can tell she likes hearing it."

"She hasn't heard much good in her life," Stephen said. "We certainly didn't help that much for a while. But we'll spend the rest of our lives making sure her life is a good one."

Becker nodded. "But I'm going to spend the same time making sure yours is, too," he said solemnly. "I love you, Stephen. I love the both of you."

Stephen smiled. "I know you do," he said gently. "I know you do. I'll never doubt that."

"Good." Becker looked at him seriously. "Because that's one of the things I want most, for you to be that absolutely certain about how I feel about you."

"Hilary, I have _never_ doubted how you feel about me."

"What about when we were searching for her?" Becker pointed out.

"I thought you didn't love me anymore, but I never doubted that you _had_ loved me with everything you had."

Becker nodded thoughtfully. "I'm sorry I doubted you."

"I'd hurt you," Stephen said. "You had good reason to doubt me. Just so long as you don't doubt me anymore."

"I don't," Becker said with a shake of his head. "I promise."

Abby burrowed her head in the blankets.

Stephen laughed softly. "Think that means she's trying not to wake up?"

"Possibly."

"My brain wants me to wake up but the body has other ideas," came the muffled reply.

Stephen laughed again

Abby made a rude sound, trying to get warm and comfortable again.

"Come here, you." Stephen wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. "This more comfortable?"

She nodded, her head comfortably on his chest as her eyes started to droop again.

Becker reached out to lightly rest a hand against her back. "Go on, love. Go back to sleep."

"Sorry," Abby murmured. "Can't help it."

"It's okay," Becker said softly. "Go on."

Abby sighed and soon she was again sleeping deeply.

Becker smiled slightly. "Poor thing. We wore her out, didn't we?"

"Oh, yeah." Stephen grinned. "And she loved every minute of it."

If she had been awake, she would have definitely agreed with Stephen.

"And to be perfectly honest, so did we." Becker grinned in return at Stephen.

"It was bloody amazing seeing you let go, Hil."

"It still amazes me that you like seeing it. I mean, I know you like being on the other end of it -- " He grinned at that. " -- but I didn't realize you liked seeing it so much."

"I like seeing it _because_ I've been on the other end," Stephen said. "Because I can easily imagine how Abby's feeling."

Becker smiled slightly. "It feels nice to let go, to not have to worry."

"We never want you to worry with us."

The contented way that Abby was sleeping was a very good indication that she would like him not to worry, too.

"I know I don't," Becker said. "But I'm so used to being restrained at things. My life's always been about my career and my family, and that's it."

"Your life's about us now, too," Stephen said. "And we like when you're not restrained."

All Becker could do was blush a little.

Abby murmured in her sleep and reached for Becker's hand as she curled close to Stephen.

Becker smiled as he took her hand. Even in her sleep, she didn't want either one of them to feel excluded.

He knew her very well.

He squeezed her hand lightly. "Love you, Abby my girl," he murmured softly. "So much."

Stephen just smiled. He knew how important it was for Becker to be able to say it to Abby. He wasn't going to take that away by adding his own sentiments, not this time. Sometimes he would and sometimes he did, but sometimes he just let it be. There was a fine art to telling which it would be, and he never knew until Becker spoke.

If Abby had been awake, she would have felt incredibly peaceful to see that smile on Stephen's face.

With nothing to distract them, nothing to interrupt and bother them and give them cause to worry, Becker was able to snuggle up to Abby and Stephen and just be content.

"I love you two," he said softly.

"And we love you," Stephen said, just as softly.

Abby murmured in her sleep, her eyes opened for a second, but then she sighed and they closed again.

Stephen smiled faintly. "She's trying to wake up," he said. "Poor thing's so tired she can't even manage it."

"She's not gotten a lot of rest lately, either," Becker said quietly. "But she enjoyed tonight with each of us and us together. We needed this."

"We did," Stephen agreed. "All three of us needed it, but... I think she needed it the most."

"She's been a lot more scared then we knew about, Stephen."

"I know, and I feel like a heel for not realizing it."

"Yeah, I don't feel very good for not realizing how scared and hurt she was."

Stephen looked at Abby for a moment. "God, she's beautiful," he said softly. "She's beautiful and she's ours and we haven't done a very good job of being there for her, even after she came home."

"She thought she hadn't done a very good job of being what we needed her to be, Stephen."

"We just need her to be herself," Stephen said, sadness in his eyes. "That's all we've ever needed."

"She apparently didn't think that."

"I just hope tonight helped her a little," Stephen said quietly. "I don't know how it would've helped, but... I hope it did."

"I think she feels a lot better about things now that we've all talked and the two of us let go with her." Becker sighed. "I think she thought we were holding back because of her hurting us. I didn't realize that us looking out for her would make her feel even more apart from us."

"I didn't, either." Stephen was quiet for a moment, watching Abby. "God, I can't believe we hurt her again."

"But we also made her feel better and made up for it." He sighed. "I hope."

"We have to believe we did." Stephen frowned thoughtfully. "We could ask her later..."

"She seemed so happy... relaxed, even, when she finally let herself fall asleep. I don't remember the last time I saw her look so relaxed."

"Before I came into your lives again, probably."

"Don't say that, Stephen. Especially don't say that when she might happen to hear you."

"All I mean is, it's been a damn long time and I'm not sure I've ever seen her look this relaxed and happy."

"She's been holding so much in, you know? Her worries about letting us down. Her fear of never being forgiven or trusted completely again because of her leaving." Becker sighed. "Those things in her mind plus the nightmares have got to have been messing with her a great deal."

"We should have noticed." There was a distinctly miserable look on Stephen's face. "We should have noticed, Hil."

"We should have, maybe, but now we know exactly what she's been afraid of and why she thought we were holding back. We know and now we can fix it."

Stephen just nodded slightly. "I haven't been very good to her lately, it would seem. Not if she was still so afraid."

"You were being considerate, same as I was. We should have remembered that sometimes when we get so worried about her, that it doesn't translate well to someone who has always been one to judge how she's doing with someone by how much they want to do with her." Becker sighed. "I also don't think she had truly forgiven herself -- even though we had."

Stephen didn't know what to say. They'd been trying to help Abby and they'd only wound up hurting her again. _He'd_ hurt her again.

"If you keep beating yourself about not realizing, she's going to know it, Stephen. That might make her start keeping things bottled up again."

"I can't help it," Stephen said quietly. "I should have realized, though. I should have and I didn't."

"But if she hears you, love, you know she's going to react about hurting us."

"Why do you think I'm saying it while she's asleep?"

Becker sighed and reached over to link his fingers with Stephen's. "We'll be better than all right now, because she told us."

"And that had to have taken a lot of courage for her," Stephen mused.

"It did, and she also _wanted_ to tell us."

"She's stronger than she realizes when it comes to that sort of thing."

"She's been trying to make sure that we're happy and she hasn't asked for anything for herself until tonight."

"I wish she'd ask for something for herself more often," Stephen said quietly.

"We'll get her to feel better about asking."

"Damn right we will," Stephen said.

"She's _ours_ , damn it and we're not going to lose her or push her away."

"No, we're not," Stephen agreed, squeezing Becker's hand gently. "We're not going to repeat our mistakes."

"It will fine, we know this."

"We do."

Becker smiled at Stephen and then looked down at where Abby was asleep. "We'll make sure she stays safe and between us -- where she belongs."

"But we'll be sure to let her out in front of us sometimes, too," Stephen said, smiling faintly. That was one mistake they'd definitely learned from.

"Sometimes," Becker agreed. Because he couldn't not protect her. He wouldn't know how. "We'll show her how much she's needed and loved on a more regular basis."

"Tonight was a good start, though, I think," Stephen said. "She was comfortable enough with us to ask for what she wanted. Means she trusts us."

"Which is something that I didn't think we'd ever earn back."

"Me, either." Stephen looked at Abby. "She's... everything good about our lives."

"You're a good part of our lives, too."

"I know," Stephen said. "I know. But Abby, she's... she's our everything."

Becker nodded. "She is. She really is and I don't think she knows that."

"We'll just have to make sure she does know."

"We can be good at convincing when we need to."

Stephen smirked. "Oh, yes. Yes, we can."

"And we'll keep at it until we know that she is completely convinced."

"Might take a while, but it'll be worth it."

"She's worth it."

"She's worth all the effort in the world."

"She really is and we'll make sure she knows that."

Stephen nodded slightly and watched Abby for a moment. "I love watching her sleep. She looks so... calm."

"Like she knows she's safe and wanted."

"And that's half the battle," Stephen said. "Because she knows it when she's asleep. We just need to work on making sure she knows it when she's awake."

Becker nodded and smiled slightly. "Because no matter how confident she seems to be, she still has worries."

"And it's our job to make sure she doesn't need to have those worries." Because keeping her from worrying would be almost impossible, but making sure the worries weren't warranted was something they could easily do now that they knew.

"And if she doesn't look like she feels like she fits in with us again, we give her a night like this to remind her."

Stephen grinned. "I like the way you think."

Becker grinned back. "You love me for my mind."

"Among other things."

"I love you, period." Becker said quietly.

Stephen was silent for a moment, and then: "Thank you."

It was a thank you for so much, though, for so many things all at once.

"You don't have to thank me."

"I know, but I want to." Stephen smiled. "They're words that're good to say sometimes. Not always, but every now and then."

"I like hearing you tell me how you feel," Becker said, squeezing his hand.

"That's why I'm going to say the words sometimes," Stephen said. "Because I know I don't need to thank you, but... at the same time I know I need to express myself better sometimes."

"I need to do the same thing for you, too. I know that I don't say it nearly enough to you or to Abby. I plan to change that."

"You realize it and that's what's important," Stephen said. "I think, anyway."

"Does it help that I agree with you?"

"A little." Stephen grinned.

Becker grinned back at him.

"Things might just work out after all, y'know that?"

"I think they will," Becker nodded in agreement. "I think they will."

"We won't let it go any other way."

"No more fear. No more thinking we're going to lose her or each other."

"No more worrying about anything," Stephen said.

"No more. Because when we worry, Abby feels rejected."

"And that's the last thing in the world we want. We've made her feel like that enough," Stephen said. "More than enough."

"We will not make her feel like our concerns are a rejection." Becker's voice was calm. "We'll show her that she's ours."

Stephen nodded in agreement. "And we'll figure out how to better judge when she's starting to doubt something."

"Watching her eyes more often should help."

"Because she gets this look... hesitant but almost blank, in a way. Like she's hiding behind a wall."

"We need to stop her from being able to hide behind that wall."

"We'll find a way," Stephen said, watching Abby. "We have to."

"We will, Stephen," Becker said quietly. "We will."

"It might take us a while, but..." Stephen exhaled slowly. "Anything worth doing is worth doing right."

Becker nodded, the first peaceful smile he had actually felt in weeks crossing his features. "But we know that what we have had is still there -- with all three of us."

"And now that we know it, we're not letting it go."

"Exactly. And she knows it, too. I think she finally has faith in us again."

Stephen sighed. "God, it hurts that she lost faith in us for a while. I understand it, but that doesn't make it hurt any less."

"She's here now," Becker reminded him. "She came back to us and we have the chance to make ourselves this wonderful family."

"I know." Stephen nodded slightly. "I know. And I'm trying to focus on that."

Becker leaned carefully over the sleeping Abby to kiss him. "We'll help each other focus on that."

Stephen deepened the kiss slightly, not enough to be trying anything but enough to let Becker know he meant it. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. Making this work is as important to me as it is to you, love."

"I know, but..." Stephen had to search for the words for a moment. "I still feel like I need to, a little."

"If that's how you feel, then never hold back when you need to say something, Stephen. Not with me and not with Abby."

"I'll try," Stephen said. "I'm not always very good with words."

"We're all pretty well matched on that."

Stephen laughed softly, ruefully. "Yeah, I suppose we are."

"But we'll make this work because it's important to all of us."

"Exactly." Stephen nodded. "And even if I'm not good with words, at least I'm trying to find the right ones. That's a step."

"And if I don't have all of the words. I'll make sure my actions say how I feel."

"You've always been good with actions," Stephen said with an affectionate smile.

"I've got to make sure I'm better than I ever have been."

"You will be," Stephen said. "I have faith in you."

"Like I have faith in you."

"And Abby has faith in both of us, too."

"Yes she does. We have to make sure she never has reason to doubt us again."

"Tall order, but we can do it."

"I know we can," Becker nodded, his hand running along Abby's hair.

"So do I," Stephen echoed.

"Then why are we worrying so much?"

"Because it doesn't change the fact that we're still scared," Stephen said after a moment of honest thought.

Becker was quiet and then nodded. "I can't go through losing her again."

"I can't go through losing either of you again," Stephen said quietly.

"You're not losing me, Stephen. I'm not going anywhere."

Stephen warmed slightly; he knew he wasn't going to lose Becker, of course, but hearing it was nice too. "I know. I promise, love, I know."

"We're sure with each other, so now we just need to focus on making her believe that she's not going to lose us." Becker squeezed Stephen's hand. "And we remind each other of our commitment because sometimes we'll need to hear it."

Stephen smiled faintly. "Because knowing it is one thing, but hearing it on occasion is damn nice, too."

"Exactly." He smiled back. "And if we say it to each other, it will make it much easier to tell her all of the time."

"So really, it's a good thing to say it to each other."

"A very good thing."

"So..." Stephen looked to the still-sleeping Abby. "I tell you lately how much I love you, Hil?"

"I love you, too, Stephen."

"And I'll always love you."

"Feels good to hear it and say it, doesn't it?"

"It does," Stephen said with a nod.

"And that's what we have to make sure we do for Abby, too."

"We will," Stephen said. "We know it's what we need to do, so it's what we're going to do. It won't always be easy, but the stuff that's worth it never is."

"And this is definitely worth it."

"Damn right it is."

"We can do this. I know we can."

"I know, too." Stephen nodded. "Because we're nothing if not determined."

"And stubborn as hell."

"And Abby's equally stubborn. She won't let the two of us fail at something that matters so much to us."

Becker smiled faintly. "No, she wouldn't allow that."

"She's... remarkable," Stephen said softly. "And she's... mine. I know she's ours, but... she's mine. I look at her sometimes and I wonder how this amazing woman could want to let me into her life at all."

"Because she thinks you're just as amazing as I do."

"And that's something else I wonder about. Not in the doubting it sense," he assured Becker. "Just... after everything I did to you, you took me back. God, I'm lucky."

"People make mistakes, love," Becker said softly. "All of us have made them. And you have more than made up for everything that happened in the past -- and it is in the past."

"But it was always possible that things wouldn't work out nearly so well," Stephen said. "I just think I need to appreciate the good in my life."

"And we appreciate you, too."

"I hope I never give you cause to stop that."

"You won't."

"I certainly hope not."

Carefully, so as not to disturb the woman sleeping in their arms between them, Becker leaned up and then over to kiss Stephen. "You won't."

Stephen whimpered softly and returned the kiss. "God, I love your faith in me."

"Like your faith in me."

"I never stopped having faith in you, Hil."

"And now we need to keep her faith in us alive."

"We can do it."

"I know we can."

"I know, too."

"We'll be fine," Becker said softly.

Stephen just nodded.

"When the three of us are together, we can manage anything."  



End file.
